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Please see the new Men's Sexuality exchange. It is suggested that this exchange be geared to men's health issues.
Bashful Bladder / Pee Shy
BuddyFavor posted:
A few guys mentioned being bothered by "bashful bladder" having difficulty urinating when others are present in the men's room. This condition is called parauresis and there is a good book out that many have found useful. It's called The Shy Bladder Syndrome by Steven Soifer Ph.D.. Has anyone got any tips to share on how they overcame this annoying problem?
Alexco35 responded:
I used to have a very, very shy bladder up until I was in my early 30's then I realized "hey I need to pee, not worry about anybody else"... I realize the more I take out (belt open, fly down, jeans open,) the more relaxed I get.. now it is no problem to go... im only there to pee, not scout or be
Gary0329 responded:
I had the same problem, and probably didn't overcome it completely (feeling relaxed enough to let loose at a urinal with other men nearby) until I was in my 40's. I just started having a "no-care" attitude about it.
Alexco35 responded:
Buddyfavor, I was at Best Buy today and this guy walked behind me to the next undivided urinal.... I unzipped really comfortably, then this topic came into my mind about bashful bladders and I immediately froze, I could'nt go and so I pretended until the guy left and then I was able to go, as soon as the door closed... lol I guess its a mental thing...
wvhillwilliam replied to Alexco35's response:
You are correct, it is a mental thing. I have had this problem for over 83 years. Mental, and thought provoking ideas have not worked for me. I always thought I was alone in this situation, I am glad others have this as well.
zoom1969 responded:
Of course I'm the oddball. I have always been able to pee in front of anyone. Male or female. I've just always been poop shy. I just can't defecate when someone else is in the restroom. I'll try to be really quiet until no one is in there. Even growing up I would turn on loud music while I was in the bathroom. I never could go at anyone's house unless it was an emergency or I was staying at someone's house out of town. Just always felt awkward or something. Weird huh?
wvhillwilliam responded:
I thought that in all my 80 years that this problem was mine and mine alone. The answers on this has helped me greatly to know that others have the same problem, and I want to Thank everyone who answered here. I recently travelled and found myself in airport restrooms being able to relieve myself for the first time without any problems. This truly is a great website for questiions and answers. THAKS AGAIN TO ALL.
Sanjay_7 replied to Alexco35's response:
Hi, that is great success for you. I hope I also have same courage.
Sanjay_7 replied to Gary0329's response:
I am happy to hear the success of you, I am in mid twenty and have the same problem, I discussed it with friends but I am not getting over it yet.
Sanjay_7 replied to wvhillwilliam's response:
I also thought the same before I knew about it but I just realized that I am not alone.
Sanjay_7 replied to wvhillwilliam's response:
I still not able to do it, I am 25 years old. I freez when I am doing it.
MarcBarlow responded:
You can get over this.... and anyone can acquire it at any time... Dr. Soifer's book is excellent. I know.... I had it for
years and got over it!! Since last april (for 8 months) i have had zero failures.
Good luck with your work on getting over this!
You can do it!

marc barlow
kamlhj replied to MarcBarlow's response:
I've had this somewhat severely for 47yrs. After reading Dr Soiffer's book & two workshops, I was 60% less. Have regressed to 40% less- I also suffer from depression & other emotional disorders.
I believe that, like alcoholism & eating disorders, one is never "cured" but can handle it a day at a time.

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