Melanoma / Skin Cancer Community

Dear devjaz,

I have a couple of suggestions for you. The first would be to get a counselor or therapist who has experience working with people who have cancers or illnesses.

I'd also encourage you to ask your doctor or local hospital about a cancer survivor's group--because you are a survivor. Finding other people who have some of the fears and worries that you do can be helpful. Here's an article with Support and Resources for people with skin cancer.

I would suggest that perhaps you refrain from mentioning your melanoma to anyone who doesn't need to know. People can be thoughtless and it doesn't cross their minds to wonder how scary or hurtful it is for you to hear a "bad cancer" story. Staying away from negative people can be an important part of Coping with Cancer .

In support,

Byroney

Let me give you some postivie informaion, people do live that has had melanoma. Have a yearly mole check up and if something seems odd before the year is up, go see you dermatologist to be on the safe side.

You seem depressed and I understand that, ask your doctor about an anti-depression medication.

Byroney has given you come very good things you can do to make
your life easier.

Please take care of yourself, your son needs you.

I had a birthmark go bad on me, stage two. I fit the profile to a tee, didn't even though. Was in a bit of denial, thinking, "What could I have done wrong here?" Finding really good doctors and a great surgeon has made all of the difference in the world for me. I'm now a survivor, five years out last August. Check yourself all of the time. Friends and family are so great and encouraged me a lot. Don't get me wrong, I've had some really bad days. However, if you question everything, every mark,mole, and spot, chances are it won't be so bad. I have had three surgeries on my back for removals and now I feel better than I have in years.

Your dermatologist should be checking you every three months or so - complete body check. Are you doing that?

FWIW, I had a malignant melanoma surgically removed 17 years ago when I was in my mid-twenties. It was very scary at the start. Various friends-of-friends came out of the woodwork with their stories, all with the best of intentions, but each with a story that discouraged me. I got to the point where I needed to avoid anyone (outside of my doctors) who wanted to talk about melanoma because it was not helping me to cope. There's no obligation for you to interact with them, and I think it's totally reasonable with your diagnosis for you to focus on yourself.

For the next 7 years, I had an annual visit with an oncologist for blood work and a skin exam. Along the way, we removed another half dozen moles or so and they were all benign. After 7 years, the risk of the melanoma coming back is almost non-existent (I was told). That was the point where I really felt at ease. I no longer need the blood work (and annual anxiety that came with it). I do get an annual skin exam by a dermatologist, and understand that I my risk of developing a second melanoma is only slightly higher than the general public. I'm careful about my sun exposure, but I no longer have the overwhelming sun paranoia I did immediately after my diagnosis. More or less, the episode is behind me and I'm better off because I'm better prepared to teach my kids about sun safety. If they can avoid going through this because I did, then that's a good outcome.

Hang in there and stay positive. You will get more confidence and less fear with each year ahead.

I can relate with you.
I was treated for stage 4 naso pharangeal carcinoma, and have been cancer free for 4 years and 3 months.
When I was in the acute care facility at a local hospital near where I live, I kept telling the doctors and nurses "What's the use - cancer always comes back". I was told "That's why you will take it one day at a time". I am cancer free today, and that is about all I know. What will be in the future, nobody knows, especially not me. Cancer survivors develop with a state of mind similar to PTSD. There are some anti-depressants that can offer some imrprvement in your mindset. Ask your physician(s).
Good Luck! I do understand.

Everyone has given you good advice - do see a counsellor and join a support group. I've had melanoma since I was 29 and I'm now 48. In my case, I started with a very big tumour, which meant I was already at stage 3. I am now stage 4, after a lung metastasis. However, this was six years ago, and I've been healthy ever since. I now have annual CT or PET scans, and skin checks. After every new occurrence, I went through similar fears and anxieties to yours. It's absolutely normal. But don't let anyone tell you that it's hopeless! I know many people, friends and relations, who have had a single melanoma and never experienced another occurrence. Hang in there, and you WILL feel better!
Trish

To Trishmck,
curious to know what has happened with your lung metastasis as I am just recently diagnosed with it from colorectal that was treated. Thanks, Marjie

Not that my 2 cents means anything but as someone that has lost a mom to cancer, I think you are very lucky. I know that when these things happen to people, they feel like life is over. It is actually the opposite, you have been given a second chance at life and for that you should be grateful. I think an attitude of gratitude and appreciation for the little things in life may help you to enjoy your time here on earth more.Nobody is guaranteed anything in life. When something bad happens to me I think of how much worse it could be. Imagine if you had the cancer but lived in a crappy country that has no medical care and you were doomed. Think about all the children born with aids that don't have a chance. I bet you feel lucky now, right?? Like my mom always said, tomorrow is not promised to ANYONE so live today as if it were your last. Go see a movie eat some popcorn and forget about the heavy stuff. Take one day at a time. Pray for strength.

Igrew up in CA and was in the sun all the time. I had basel cell and squamas removed a few years ago and have used sunscreen and also been very proactive on checking yearly. I was getting ready for an upcoming body chech in November of last year (this was in Sept 2010) when I noticed a mole on right side of my face that had never been problem-it now had grown thicker and looked off. I immediately called my dermo on next day, Thursday, and she had me in, reoved it and sent for biopsy-called me on Friday with the news that it was Melanoma. On the following Monday I was in seeing the Dermatologist who would do the first excision (they take a 1.5 centimeter strip around mole), and also take out 2 lymph nodes that are for that area to check.)This was november and it was an outpatient procedure. I found out on Dec 2 that they found single cell melanoma in one of the two lymph nodes so I was on my way immediately to ENT. Dr. was great - went in to see him on the 5th, scheduled Removal of all lymph nodes on fight side of face and shoulder, the Carotid gland etc for the 18th. 5 days in hosptial and out just before Christmas. (Had purshased cruise for my wife and myself, my two daugthers and their significant others for teh 26th so we decided to go - was great and came back from the rain forest and central america on Jan. 9. They found single cell melanoma in a couple lymph nodes (no modes or modules) , so I met with my oncologist and we decided to do a thrity day Interferon - just finished that last Friday. My prognosis is maintaining a close watch and 3 month appts to monitor.- The reason I gave all the background to your query is bacuase it's easy to go all the way negative; why me? etc etc., and just veg about it. Oh yeah - my wife just went through ovarian cancer two years ago and she is in remission so it's not like this is the only challenge we'ver faced. Our girls are both in the early 20's - one is married 3 years, very happy, and the other runs a dept for a health care company. they love their Mom and Dad and we try not to burden them but believe in "family" being involved. You didn't mention any specifics on treatment, but what I will say is this: You can get up in the morning and decide to be positive or negative for the day. I'd say look at your little guys face, give him a hug and kiss (or a bunch), tell him you love him as much as possible and live a normal life. You're here, you'e alive. It didn't sound like it has gone to liver, lungs or anywhere else; so dont' worry about it-God has blessed you with a wonderful child who looks to you every time he opens his eyes - he doesn't know Melanoma from joe blow - he does know he has a parent who loves him and unless you tell him different, all is going to be OK.

My twin sister had 1 melanoma removed from her back 15 years ago, and I had one on my arm 15 years ago and one on my back about 3 years ago removed. The doctor got all of it removed, and neither one of us has had any problems. We both go to a dermatologist twice a year for a skin check, and we limit exposure to the sun and try to remember to wear sunscreen. I know how you feel, because the first one I had really scared me. As my faith in God grew, I knew that I was in His hands, and I would not allow myself to live in fear of getting another one. I know God is in control, and I try to live each day as a gift from Him. I really am not scared anymore. God is the source of my strength. He can be for you, too. Don't live in fear, trust in the Lord. Because you have had one, does not mean that you will get another one. Enjoy the gift of life and take one day at a time.

Hello, I Love your positive energy! Thank you! I have a question for you please....

I have just had my 3rd surgery since 2006 removing another melanoma from my knee and leg leat Monday. I had 30 lymphnodes removed from my groin area the 1st time I had surgery, and my oncologist said, even though I should be "clear" at this time....the cancer seemed to have metastisized from my knee up to my thigh and may have entered the bloodstream. Stage 4.... Now he said it may travel elsewhere (Organs etc...)

He suggested I could try a few treatments or just wait and see hoping nothing else occurs.
I'm not sure What should I do? I don't really want to do the injections....but...I may not have a choice.

There is a new injection out now, Yervoy Impilimumab, but it's really expensive...and I haven't heard much about it. My doctor wasn't definite about whether if I should go on anything for now or not.

I've changed my whole diet to organic vegetables and eating healthy, and I've heard that taking Selenium suppliments are helpful too. But I may need to try one of these injections too.

How do you feel after taking the interferone? How did it affect you? I didn't know you could take it for a short period of time 30 days? Any feed back would be appreciated.
Thank you! Hope you're feeling good.

Do not pay any atention to the people that only have bad news. I have a friends that had melanoma ten years ago and he is doing fine.

Keep and eye on your body and if anything changes see you dermatologist and get a mole check from your doctor every year,

oops attention!