I was in the same place you are 2 yrs ago ( I was 56). I wanted to know 'everything' I could about this disease that invaded my body when I wasn't looking. As you mentioned, nearly everything I read on line was doom & gloom. SO I STOPPED READING STUFF ON LINE. I asked doctors & nurses so many questions and was happy to get honest answers without getting bombarded with a feeling of impending gloom.
My melanoma was in my vulva - how could that be I kept asking my doctors. The truth is they weren't 100% certain, but now believe it started with a 'non-specific' birthmark I had in that area & it 'changed' over the years into melanoma.
I was also scared - I felt like I was in a horrible dream/nightmare and wanted to wake up (at nearly the same time my husband left me & I lost my job) - But it's no dream, and somehow people who are diagnosed with this disease need to find the strength to carry on.
You may, like me find solace in the fact that melanoma doesn't always mean a certain death sentence, everyone & every case is different. The statistics are just numbers - and they DO NOT have a one size fits all.
I make every effort to be realistic, but also keep a good frame of mind and positive outlook as much as possible. I NEVER MISS A DOCTOR APPOINTMENT OR A SCAN OR ANY TEST MY DOCTORS MAY WANT - THAT IS A CARDINAL RULE!
I am very happy a decided very early on not to fall into the WHY ME state of mind. That poor pitful me attitude is a downer and you don't want/need more negativity. Other than my wonderful doctors, my support group is very small. Not all of us have loads of friends who would even know what to do/say when faced with this situation.
The husband came back after a couple months (guilt I suppose). He NOW understands what dealing with cancer involves & does make some effort to help when I need it.
I am so happy that I will be a grandma soon - I didn't think I'd live to see my first grandchild!
Make sure you are comfortable with your doctor(s). Can you can talk to them about how you feel mentally as well as physically???
I find it helpful to stay away from negative vibes - on line, or otherwise.
If you ever want to talk or vent - let me know.
Do your best and know there are so many others who share what you are feeling.