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Menopause and Libido
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huntingurl4life posted:
Hi everyone. I'm 31 andI just had a complete hysterectomy 3 weeks ago because of endometriosis. The hot flashes and night sweats have started which are so annoying, but I'll live. The thing that I was wondering if everyone going through menopause loses their libido and if there is anything to help with the problem if it does happen.
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texaswoman1 responded:
I can relate !!! I am post menopause by several years, now off HRT, and my main problem is very little desire. My sweet husband has been very tolerate, and does not force. My dr prescribed premarin vaginal cream which helps, but I still cannot get any satisfaction. Still desire help.
 
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Mary Jane Minkin, MD replied to texaswoman1's response:
Dear Texaswoman1,
A few options to think about-I suggest all women dealing with decreased libido in menopause go to the website menopause.org, the website of the North American Menopause society, on which there is a good discussion about testosterone for libido (and other options.) Among the over the counter remedies to consider: Zestra is a topical lotion, to apply before sex, which supposedly enhances response. Another popular remedy in the natural products world is a product called Hot Plants for Her-you can go on line and read about these. Another widely discussed product is DHEA-the data on enhancing sexual desire is controversial, but I would speak with your health care provider to consider these.
Good luck,
Mary Jane
 
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someonewhocares3 responded:
So sorry you're suffering! I can relate!! I'd be interested to know if the suggestions by the expert have any effect.

I lost all libido and have little to no response post-hysterectomy. Women who've had a hysterectomy are usually at more of a disadvantage than women in natural menopause. The nerves, blood vessels and ligaments that are severed to remove the uterus can severely compromise sensation. And for women who had uterine orgasms (I did), those are gone forever. Sadly, most gyns skirt these issues (and most others) with their patients when recommending hysterectomy.

Systemic HRT and/or vaginal estrogen generally helps with lubrication and may improve sensation.

Post back and let us know your experience.
 
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ChacoRose responded:
Hi! I'm so sorry to hear you've already had to have a hysterectomy, but the pain relief from endometriosis is so worth it.

I'm 54, had a partial hysterectomy years ago and am in active menopause.

My dr. did give me a premarin-type cream because of pain during intercouse, which has been helpful.

Libido-wise, I had suffered a decrease. However! Kegel exercises have changed all that for me. I started out doing them three times a day (10 holds for 10 seconds, and then 30 fast squeezes) but now I just do them once a day (whenever I get in the car, that's my reminder to do some). Also, if I'm expecting a little Hop on Pop action soon, I start exercising that muscle - it brings blood to the area, and starts me thinking about it. I'm amazed!

At first it felt like it wasn't going to work, but I stayed with it. I started experiencing fulfilling orgasms again, and even felt frisky

It's a great investment in my husband's tenderness towards me to initiate regular sexual activity - he's having his own age-related sexual issues. We laugh a lot together, and just do whatever works. We've been married 35 years now, and it's still getting better.
 
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replantedokie replied to Mary Jane Minkin, MD's response:
Mary Jane.The problem is Usually DESIRE.I tried the Zestra & it gave me lubrication (which is another issues with menopause)but did not help AT ALL with the DESIRE part of it.When I talk to my Dr.she also,like many others thinks its just a dryness problem & if she can fix that the desire will come back...WRONG..What can be done about that?
 
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Gabriellecatania1 replied to replantedokie's response:
I feel the same way! I love to cuddle and my hubby's always wanting to get closer too... But I'm embarrassed cause I'm always so dry and I feel good and want to make-love but we go to try and I'm not lubricated on my own! I HATE THIS:( cause have NEVER had that problem!!? What do I do????
 
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wellnessmom4 replied to Gabriellecatania1's response:
If the problem is lubrication (as opposed to desire), that problem is pretty easy to fix. There are literally dozens of lubricants on the market. Take your pick and use one. My Gyn even suggested good ole', inexpensive baby oil.
 
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gupster63 replied to ChacoRose's response:
Hi Chacorose!!! I just LOVED reading your POSITIVE story!! First I commend you for 35 years of marriage......I admire you. Keep up the great work.......(doing my kegels now!!! LOL)
 
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akashiloh replied to replantedokie's response:
Exactly!! There all kinds of remedies for dryness.......the problem IS desire. No one but no one has any effective suggestions. It's like we are sentenced to 'no sex'. Why oh why, has the medical community ignored the female????
 
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ruthgoh replied to ChacoRose's response:
Hi ChacoRose,
Thanks for yr valuable sharing on improving libido.I would definitely love to try this exercise out since it has helped you tremendously. How do I find out more on Kegel exercises? Please share more and thanks again.
 
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ChacoRose replied to ruthgoh's response:
Hi, ruthgoh!

Here is a little more info on kegels - I don't work for either site, so just read and glean what you like.

An added tip - kegels work for men, too! And once you get this muscle toned, you don't have to work it as often as when you are first starting up.

One more thing...as I've gotten older, I've stopped relying on my libido, and I kind of move forward into the sexual experience by faith, knowing that the kegels I'm doing (in the shower, before!) are going to increase blood flow, and that as we get into it, my interest and desire will increase - it works!

Things are just different as you age, and instead of getting frustrated with it, you come up with new 'tricks' (and as you are doing that, and working with each other, you are deepening your relationship, too).

http://www.webmd.com/urinary-incontinence-oab/pelvic-floor-kegel-exercises-for-urinary-incontinence-in-women

http://www.dothekegel.com/sexeffects/index.html

I don't look back anymore and wish for what we had, because what we have now is so much better in every way (even though we are loaded up with 'tools' we didn't need before )

Have a great day!
 
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ChacoRose replied to gupster63's response:
Hurray! Never stop laughing and loving - grab the lubricant and whatever else makes it better - it's worth everything you pour into it. Have a great day!
 
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wellnessmom4 replied to ChacoRose's response:
ChacoRose, I love those playful, positive posts. What a great attitude you have about this! We're not sentenced to no sex just because desire is waning or gone. One thing that's helped me over the years is to try to approach sex the way I suspect my husband does - which is to say, he's not thinking any deep thoughts about our relationship. LOL It's okay for it to just be sex for the sake of sex. I tell myself to JUST DO IT (good advice from a female relationship counselor years ago), and even if I'm not particularly in the mood when we start, I usually get into it somewhere along the way and we have some fun and reconnect. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's mediocre, and sometimes it's a complete bust (like the other day when our teenager was being an A$$ outside our bedroom door), but in all cases, trying is better than nothing at all. These days we're having some physical challenges, but it remains my goal to somehow KEEP DOING IT. By the way, it's a cliche, but a glass of wine really does help get me in the mood - or at least care less that I'm not in the mood!
 
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lilgreeneyes3 responded:
Sorry to hear about your hysterctomy but I starting going through memopause in my late 30's but my sex drive went through the roof. But this is common in the women in my family.


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