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    Pre-menopausal/Menopausal with no sex drive....
    An_240233 posted:
    My partner and I are both going thru menopause (yes, we are both female) and she is about a year ahead of me going thru it. We have all the common side effects-hot flashes, insomnia, night sweats, adrenaline rushes and even cold flashes but we are both struggling with zero sex drive. We are on low doses of Estradiol (1 mg.) 3 times a week and our doctor advised us to keep that dosage due to breast cancer issues in both our families. We love to cuddle and are very affectionate but there hasn't been any "bedroom time" for quite awhile. I know that regardless of your sexual orientation so many women go thru this and we were looking for a place where we would not be judged but instead be supported. Any tips or advice or supplement suggestions ?
    Byroney_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Welcome An_240233 and thank you for taking the time to post about your concerns for yourself and your partner. We are happy to offer you our support. Menopause can definitely be a challenging time for some women when it comes to sex and sex drive.

    This article on Menopause and Sex can help you get started looking at what some of your symptoms may be, what's causing them, and some possible solutions. Also check out A Woman's Guide to Reviving Your Sex Drive for more ideas.

    Dr. Minkin oftens posts around the weekend, so she may be replying, or other members may pop in and offer their tips for what worked for them.

    Please let us know how you're both doing,

    Paladin9 responded:
    Although I don't agree with your lifestyle (not judging you), I can understand your frustration and the fact that you both suffer from this double fold!

    I am facing this with my husband and I have had to tell him that there is no female viagra. We tried KY intense and it did nothing for me. I guess I am going through peri-menopause cold turkey. I had an allergic reaction to progestin.

    I am 50% (LOL) in your shoes and I'd like to know what can be done as well. If you find anything--let me know!
    Rhondamay responded:
    Welcome to menopause. It's not much fun and you have a lot of company. HRT helps but you need to discuss it with your gyno. Vaginal low dose estrogen creams, lots of lube and frequent sex help with the vaginal dryness and seems to also help the libido. This is where the phrase "use it or lose it" really comes into play.

    Good luck!

    An_240233 replied to Paladin9's response:
    Thank you for not judging us and understanding our (double) frustration !!! A friend of mine did recommend a low dose estrogen cream and I will definitely talk to my doctor when I go next month. We've had a few people talk to us about (get ready for this) testosterone cream and they've said that it works wonders !!! Kind of a scary thing when you think about it (hope I won't grow any hair where it doesn't belong on a woman) !!! Will let you know......
    ckspell replied to Rhondamay's response:
    Thank you so much for replying and giving us some useful information !!! Will be going to my doctor next month and definitely discussing low dose estrogen cream, HRT, and a few people have told us about discussing testosterone cream. We hope it won't be a long and dusty (!!!) road and something can be found to help our libido. Love your comment of use it or lose it - bahahahaha !!!!!
    An_240233 replied to Byroney_WebMD_Staff's response:
    Thank you !!!
    Mary Jane Minkin, MD responded:
    Dear An_240233 and everyone who responded,
    Excellent questions and answers. A few suggestions to our participants. I'd suggest switching from 1 mg of estradiol three times a week to doing 0.5 mg a day, or trying a very low dose patch: 0.025. You'll do better getting smoother levels. If you still have a uterus, you'll need an occasional dose of progesterone, but every three months for 12 days should do it. As far as the question on progestin allergy: almost no one is allergic to all progsestins: speak with your health care provider-for example, there is a pill called Angeliq, in which the progestin is a tiny dose of drospirenone, which is actually a derivative of a diuretic-but acts like a progestin.
    Now to the libido questions: yes, testosterone is totally reasonable (I'll refer you to the North American Menopause Society's website,, which has lots of info on it.) Alas, we have to get you compounded testosterone, because there is no officially FDA approved testosterone for women, which is much lower dose than the guys' variety-so you'd be unlikely to get such side effects as hair. Alas, you need to use it daily-there is no true equivalent of viagra for women, to use on an as needed basis. You could try the over the counter product Zestra, which does help some women. Another remedy which has been debated for years is DHEA; the latest study says it doesn't help libido; there have been others in years past which suggested it did. You can check in with your health care provider. In the herbal world, a product called Hot Plants for Her has been quite popular-you may want to read some more about it.
    So there are a lot of things which could be of use-see if any of these sound interesting to you.
    Good luck,
    Mary Jane

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    For more information, visit the North American Menopause Society website