The only place I can go to seek comfort and understanding is discussion groups such as these. Earlier today I emailed my husband, son and daughter and told them what I was experiencing. That was three+ hours ago and no one has even said "oh mom, I feel bad for you". THEY JUST DON'T GET IT and I feel like screaming! So, husband is out of town, college-aged son is back at home, high school daughter...they are all selfish and clueless! Today I painted my daughter's old room for my son ALL BY MYSELF! I have never felt so lonely and alone. I have an email into my doctor, ordered a couple books to read on my new recumbent bike, ordered some herbal teas and still have to do the taxes. THIS IS TERRIBLE! I hate it, and remember that my mother divorced my father in the throes of her menopause. Sometimes I just want to run away from home. (you know God is a man for what we have to deal with in menopause!)
Valerie, you are not alone... sooooo many of us feel this way. I am 50 and have been having perimen sympoms for about 4 years or so, and the worst ones are the emotional/mental ones. I would take hot flashes any day if I didn't have anxiety, weird mood feelings, depression, insomnia, lack of concentration, etc. You are right, it is terrible. And your mom is typical of lots of women who end up divorcing their husbands at this stage of life... it's a lot to endure. What symptoms are you experiencing?
As I type I'm having a hot flash and a head ache. Anxiety, night sweats, weight gain...many of the signs or most! BUT! I have been riding my recumbent bike, eating better (slowly), stopped smoking on New Year's and am making my biggest attempt at getting better with all sorts of other stuff (tea, herbals, massage, doctor appt etc). I'm nearly done reading a book I saw on line called "Menopause Sucks: What to Do When Hot Flashes Make You and Everyone Else Miserable". She writes with wonderful humor and I have chuckled out loud many times. Lots of good advice, funny female quotes and facts. Tomorrow I start back to work (high school drama teacher) and Thursday my husband comes back from visiting his family. Not looking forward to either. Ah well. Today I got a massage, took myself out to lunch and got a mani/pedi. Right now I'm doing what many of the readings say: I'm taking care of Valerie! 55 and thriving!
I'm glad to hear that you did some things to "be good to yourself" today. Good for you that you quit smoking... I read/heard somewhere that smoking does "a number" on a woman's hormones. You know, it's hard when people don't seem to understand what you are going through, so that's why these types of groups are soooo helpful. Do you take anything for the anxiety?
I'm not taking anything yet, but I ordered some Mendapause, which I read about extensively the other day (when I was really bad!). Have a doctor appt for Jan 30 (my husband's bDay, isn't that ironic, or...something!). My body responds quickly and I already feel a LOT better, but I'm much more prepared. Now I just have to figure out what I am going to talk to my husband about. I feel a million miles distant from him. Take care!
I understand your dilemma! I don't get too much support from my family but then again how can I expect them to understand hormonal changes when they don't have such issues? Anyway - it's good that you take time for yourself and try to work through the tough moments. I've been grappling with the weight gain and hot flashes recently-they seem to be coming with a vengence. I just keep telling myself that this will pass and things will get better. Please feel free to post to me if you ever need an ear to listen
you may want to try a product called Internal Harmony - a natural progesterone cream with lots of other vitamins and antioxidants to help relieve menopause symptoms. You just rub it on your arm or leg once a day. It is available at the Vitamin Shoppe or on-line. Good luck!
I totally get it! When I started experiencing menopause symptoms myself, my sanity went STRAIGHT OUT THE DOOR! I was totally floored and completely disoriented. My home life suffered as I ranted at family, and my business suffered as I could not complete the simplest tasks. I would have great days but then I would have TERRIBLE days, and when I was tired or stressed, it was even WORSE. I used to be on an emotional roller-coaster ride (like you're going through) but I finally found a combination of herbs that is working for me. A friend of mine was the one who said it sounded like early menopause symptoms and she suggested it. I am so happy about it that I did a lot of research and created a free report about the supplement I'm taking. If you want to learn more about how to help yourself "safely" (without the dangerous hormone replacement therapy; HRT) download my free report... it'll tell you which herbs affect which symptom and you'll most likely be able to get some relief for yourself.
Thank you Carine! I'm out of town right now...will get back to this when back in my office. I LOVE the support from all the ladies here. Even if I don't get that support elsewhere I know I can check into this site and find it. That's a relief.
I TOTALLY understand the issues you are having too! I was diagnosed with stage II Estrogen Receptive Breast Cancer at age 33. I had a mastectomy and was put on hormone blocking meds. Unfortunately, my body was still producting so much estrogen, that even with the blockers, I was still getting my period (AND hot flashes)...so in August of 2005 I was given a complete hysterectomy at the age of 34. My ability to have children was taken from me, my breast was gone and now, for the past 8 years I have been suffering the most HORRIBLE hot flashes. Non-stop, every 20 minutes, day and night. I take sleep aids every night (which I HATE), and hubby gets frustrated with me because when I'm not sweating, I am FREEZING. I am hoping that when I am done with the cancer meds (another 2 1/2 years) that the flashes will begin to diminsh naturally....a girl can hope, right? In the mean time, there is very little I can do about it. My cancer (which is gone, praise be!) was hormone receptive, so I cannot have any hormone replacement therapy. I cannot even eat Soy, because it is loaded with natural estrogen....sigh. We have each other though, right ladies?!
I am 56 and have been having symptons of menopause for over 4 years now. UGH! Night sweats, hot flahses, depression, anxiety, insomnia. You name it! I tried HRT and also Bioidenticals with no relief. I have been on anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, prescription sleep meds, meds for my stomach which has been the biggest problem for me. Dr says I have IBS which is caused by the anxiety. I just in the last month got off it all which was very hard. I told myself that I needed to get through this all on my own without any medication. I had enough of playing "russian roulette" with different meds.I started excersising and watching my diet as I have put on some weight to where I am so uncomfortable. This has me down as well. It is consuming me because I do not feel good. I work full-time which makes what I am going through even more stressful. I have to go to work but have so many issues right now. It is comforting to read other stories, as I feel I am not alone. I read everything I can get my hands on to try and find relief. Now I know why they put women in asyliums in the olden days!
I am happy to hear you are cancer free. I too have hysterectomy induced menopause and hotflashes. I have to tell you what worked for my night sweats is a mattress pad called Snuggle Wool. I still sweat at night but the sheets stay dry and no more sticky wet sheets. It's magic. I also can't take anything estrogen, including any soy stuff. I still am struggling with the hotflashes and weight gain. Hang in there.
Hi Valerie Have never been on this site as yet but thought what the hheck to be with gals experiencing the same thing Menopause. I haven't experienced everything at the degree you have but have experienced enough to sometimes sream! I am all about nnatural methods, so here is my little tip of wisdom....have you tried, mediation to quiet the mind chatter...I found when you are angry, frustrated, hotflashes you turn into someone quite different. Omharmonics.com, using binaral beats with the brain waves has a sound track if you listen to twice daily, will bring you to calm....I have done many natural techniques and all I can say is wow, WOW! Also EFT tapping releases stress, emotional issues, pain puts you into balance and everything you can think of....exercising, sitting in a sauna has helped me with the hot flashes and proper food neurishment keeps you more in balance. Mind---- body connection..... is actually the secret to navigating what life has to throw at us daily. Hopes this helps the ladies in this community! Best Lorrie
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