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    Menopause and sex
    jin6262 posted:
    I am new to this site but am looking for some kind of "immediate" answer to this problem that I am sure many women have. I am menopausal, like past the point where my periods have stopped (3 yrs ago) and I have also moved beyond the hot flashes which I thought would never end but now I am so unable to enjoy sex and I miss that. I have really low libido but for some reason I miss the emotional connection with my partner that I used to enjoy so much only my partner just does not want to understand that due to my extreme vaginal dryness I cannot even enjoy any aspect of sex. I have tried asking for more foreplay like using oral sex and that did not help. My boyfriend has a fear of using any unusual products on his skin, he's a real freak that way so he refuses to let me try any artificial lubricants and he is aware of my problem yet we still want to enjoy sex as we used to, instead he just complains that women are too complicated. I was hoping that maybe there was a supplement that I could take that would help my dryness problem or someone knows of a product that is naturally occurring or organic or whatever that we could use that he would not object to and he is really weird-he even hates to use the tap water on his skin to shower!
    Mary Jane Minkin, MD responded:
    Dear jin6262,
    Unfortunately the problem of significant vaginal dryness is fairly common, and alas, it is unlikely to get better spontaneously (unlike hot flashes which do tend to get better over the course of time). One totally organic suggestion: some folks do use products like olive oil or coconut oils as lubricants; I think we have more effective products available. Lubricants such as Astroglide do help many women, if your significant other would consider them. Other options do include vaginal estrogens which are extremely safe and reliable (vaginal tablets, creams and rings.) And there is a new product called Osphena which is an oral pill which is designed exclusively for vaginal moisturization; but you could take it, and your significant other would have no idea you were using something (so that's a thought)-it is a prescription product, but you could ask your health care provider for a prescription (the vaginal estrogen products are also prescription.) So we do have plenty of options; don't give up.
    Good luck,
    Mary Jane
    jin6262 replied to Mary Jane Minkin, MD's response:
    I had no idea that there was a pill for such a problem and since I also know a lot of other women who also have the same problem, like my 2 sisters who swear they have to live with it, your advice has helped possible 3 person total-thanks a million and I am making an appt with my Dr right away!
    jin6262 replied to jin6262's response:
    Til then I will use the olive oil as it never occurred to me to use such a product thinking that they were unsafe. Thanks so much again

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    For more information, visit the North American Menopause Society website