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Menapause and sex
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An_256931 posted:
I am 49 years old. I have been married for 33 years. I had a hysterectomy 8 years ago, emergency because I was actually bleeding out. Everything was fine until about a year ago. I have lost my sex drive and my husband just doesn't understand. He is pretty ok with it I till he drinks. Then he wants it more than usual, I dread it but I do it. And yes I have told him but he always says as long as he "gets some" he doesn't care. I do what is required of me, but I really want to know if there is anything out there that can help me get through the process and kind of make me enjoy sex, I don't want to lose my husband, and I know he is tired of pornos and I have told him I don't care if he has sex with another woman as long as he wears a condom, but he hates condoms. I have always said yes to him and been able to grin and bare what he wants, but now I can't.
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sjb05151956 responded:
Sorry to hear you are not interested in sex. I lost my sex drive after a hysterectomy and it's never really come back. I had a great sex drive and great orgasms before that. That all changed immediately after the surgery. But finding the "right" hormone replacement has at least made me feel ok about having sex versus it being repulsive or abhorrent. But orgasms are still a disappointment and hard to achieve
 
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Mary Jane Minkin, MD responded:
Dear an_256931,
Having had a hysterectomy, it's difficult to tell you if you are fully menopausal or not-however, it's a good bet that you are making less estrogen and less testosterone than you used to-(many women are not aware that their ovaries make testosterone as well as estrogen.) You didn't state whether you are taking any hormonal medications or not: but if you aren't, you may well be a good candidate for some estrogen, and possibly some testosterone, both of which may prove helpful. A gynecologist, or nurse practitioner in women's health, may well be able to get you some intervention that could help improve your sex drive. You didn't say whether or not you were having pain with sex, from vaginal dryness. If that is an issue, go to the pharmacy today and buy an over the counter vaginal moisturizer, like Replens, which will help; and a lubricant, like Astroglide, to use at the time of sex, to at least help keep you comfortable. Estrogen therapy will also help to keep the vagina more moist.
Good luck,
Mary Jane