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    What a Great Experience this group has become. The kinship in Brotherhood. There is such a diverse range of topics. This is the place we can be as open as we want to be... Everyone is welcome to join, but it is not a place to Cruise. It's for sharing sexual questions and comments among men.
    Popular Opinion On Masturbation
    Jerred39 posted:
    What is the popular opinion on masturbation... Healthy or unhealthy? I have heard it is both but, nobody ever really explains why it is unhealthy. What is your opinion?
    zoom1969 responded:
    I think masturbation if def healthy!! I think the only time it is unhealthy is if it starts to interfere with your daily activities like work, relationships, etc. I think it is an awesome stress and anxiety reliever. Even when I am in a sexual relationship I still like to masturbate. It's like my me time. Not really sure why people back in the day thought it was unhealthy! I remember growing up hearing that you will go blind and all of those other crazy tales that they used to say!
    Jerred39 replied to zoom1969's response:
    Whew! Then that's good news! EVERYONE talks about this stuff so jokingly and I clam up BIG TIME because it is incredibly embarrassing but, yes I do it! THERE... I got that out! When I was 22 years old I went to a camp to get off of drugs and I had a VERY influential councilor that taught us it was unhealthy. I was also having a REAL difficult time accepting my fantasies of being with a guy and was getting hit on a lot by some of the other guys that attended this camp after being released from prison. I was INSANELY attracted but in NO WAY was I going to let them know that. Man, I have always been scared of the topic of sex with anyone. It seems normal when I find other guys discuss the topic but it feels so dirty to me when I have the same thoughts. But, I have TOO been using masturbation as a means of not actually going out and having sex (even if with another HIV positive male). BTW, it's not because of being HIV positive that I have these guilt trips... I was abstinent from even talking about the subject of sex between the ages of 13 and 24. But, by the time I was 29 I was engaging in a LOT of sex and then going home pretending nothing happened. I wonder if maybe I were more open about this topic I wouldn't have taken risks on becoming HIV positive but, that's neither here nor there... Just a dumb choice I made altogether.
    Handytim replied to Jerred39's response:
    Im Soo lucky..did it w/ dozens in my twenties and Still healthy..anymore, in a LTR, and have an extra partner who gives me "stress relief" once in awhile..
    Torcal responded:
    It's a natural thing to do. When I reached puberty I exploded sexually and had to do it at least once a day and sometimes more.

    I becomes unhealthy if guys use it to avoid social encounters or masturbate so often that the spouse is neglected. Somewhere in this site is a long list of complaining women whose husbands claim low libido but are known to be hooked on porn and masterbating in front of pictures and in the shower to the exclusion of having sex with their
    BJ102364 replied to Torcal's response:
    I don't masturbate. My wife and I have sex every day or two and if I masturbated I wouldn't be able to perform well with her.
    LotusHeart replied to Jerred39's response:
    Thinking sex is dirty and masturbation is dirty ia the one sure and guaranteed way to get overcome with massive urges to do both and get locked up in a pattern of sexual compulsion. Shame feeds sexual addiction, it's that simple. Putting a lid on it will just make it spray like crazy, no pun intended.

    Jerred, you got bad advice when you were younger. A counselor in a drug recovery camp telling folks it's bad to masturbate should be fired from his job! As for same sex attractions, they are natural and nothing to be ashamed of.

    The safe way to deal with sexual energy of any kind is within a container of love for yourself and for the other person. When you are free of fear and your sexuality is within the realm of love, it becomes your best friend. The compulsion will go away.

    Try to find a good qualified counselor who can help you with your shame, and make sure you stay away from fundamentalist religious organizations, they will only make your shame worse.

    Shame just plain and simply sucks, and those that try to make people feel shameful should be avoided, especially the religious fundamentalist kind.

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