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What a Great Experience this group has become. The kinship in Brotherhood. There is such a diverse range of topics. This is the place we can be as open as we want to be... Everyone is welcome to join, but it is not a place to Cruise. It's for sharing sexual questions and comments among men.
I would hope that the benefit of this community is that people don't have to define themselves as anything. Straight, gay, who cares? These are boxes and labels that Society has artificially created, and these labels cause separation. Our society is ultra-homophobic, and thus many guys that get any erotic thoughts related to other males will worry. Most will just stuff it. But our society's views are not congruent with Science. Enough studies have been done that show that sexuality is a continuum. You can read about it on Wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_orientation
By far the most advanced measure for sexual orientation is the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid. It takes into account physical and emotional attraction, as well as lifestyle preferences, behavior and social. Truth be told, 100% hetero is rare. If you read Jackinworld.com, you will find that a large percentage of guys actually fantasize about other men when masturbating, because masturbation is ultimately about the male body. You can read about the survey results here: http://old.jackinworld.com/library/surveys/survey2.html but there are more surveys than just that one. This one has very interesting results as well: http://old.jackinworld.com/library/surveys/survey04.html.
Anyway, my advice is to stay away from trying to define yourself with a black and white label, not only is it limiting, but it's also and endless rat hole.
LotusHeart I disgree, I MAN must know and define whom he is. Accept whom he is and be willing for others to know his wants and desires. This community is for all males to discuss all sexual issues. Learn whom they are; and share with others. Why not be open. "Come out of the closet" You're not accepting whom you are is put you in the rat hole. By not sharing with family and friends you stay in the Hole. Your brains and heart already knows your label. Why hide it from others. Set yourself Free.
Is it a label to be truthful and honest to yourself and others in your life? It maybe for Their Good Health and Yours. That You and them know the peson you are in your Heart of Hearts. Why not Fully Enjoy Life everyone knowing the person you are. Yes, you are right it would be a Better World. If not so many them would not live behind a mask. But be Honest about their feelings. Not just in a thread; but in Life. You give great advice; as gymrat; but what do you tell your friends about yourself?
Good point. What's said in these threads goes deeply into a lot of significant topics which don't come up much in conversation with friends and family. And by and large there isn't a great need for that to happen. But here in these forums we're able to open up -- I know that I've come to understand things about myself in the process of posting here which I hadn't fully realized before. Thanks, guys, for having been part of the process.
While I may not discuss some of these issues directly with my friends I would think that my open and non-judgmental nature would show through. My accepting them as they are, whatever that might be. And should the right opportunity come up for discussing some of the things which we talk about here I believe I would be ready to do so. In the meantime I think that actions speak louder than words and carry more significance.
gymrat, with my friends and family we discuss "what we doing" or "who were are doing" in our conversations. If this is Strong topic and significant topics with you. Why are you not able to start this conversation with friends and family. Or a lot of significant topics which don't come up much in a conversation. You should able to start the conversation. Then share your passion for other males. If you encourage others on these threads; why are you not able to in person. Why only use the pen and not your voice?
How is your Action putting IT in the back door. Behind closed doors Explain how that carries more Signifiance or Speaks lounder than words. Only if the neighbors hear you scream????? Pull IT of my ANUS.
Personally, i don't believe in labels. We are all Human Beings. I do not care what your sexual orientation might be! And no, you don't have to tell me, or try to explain it to me. As long as you are a genuine, kind, caring person, i will like you for who you are, not what you like sexually. Labels can be hurtful, and i am not on this earth to be hurtful, but rather, supportive.
Dennis, do you agree Human Beings is a label. How can a person be genuine and caring. If he is not able to be open to share with his wife, family and friends. Why live on this earth without being truth of the REAL you?
it is very easy for a person who is 100% heterosexual to tell others to live a 100% honest life w/ family and friends. You are in the mainstream where others who don't agree with what goes on behind some doors is acceptable.
Put yourself in someone's shoes who is living a "straight" lifestyle but has had some non-straight activities. If you simply open up, you may lose a wife, children and friends. That's not such an easy decision to make and as you can see from these threads, alot of guys make the decision to stay quiet. This is a very personal decision and not one that should be made by someone else, or even judged by someone else for that matter.
If you all cannot see that there is a lot of grey out there, you are just being color blind (gay blind).
I am not gay blind. But I would not be able to live with a wife. Whom I was not able to be fully honest. My sexual past. was not the best for a young man. But my wife know and she also now it's in the past. How do you look your wife in her eyes or yourself in mirror. Knowing your doing something you not able to share with your soul mate. Are you living with her for cover up only? I have not walked in your shoes. But if I was doing anything I was not proud of and could not discuss with family and friends. I would kick it ass to the curve. LIFE IS TO SHORT!
. This is a very personal decision and not one that should be made by someone else, or even judged by someone else " If this is a personal decision. Why use the thread to encourage Other Males to try it. If it not a easy decision to make and if it is something your not proud of nor would not like to share with wife, friends and family. I was taught fire burns.... do not touch
If I had to choose one or the other, I would say str8 but hate to be tightly labeled. The beauty of this community is that we are just a bunch of guys who should be able to say what we really think regardless of how we might label ourselves or others. That said, I have only had straight sexual experiences aside from one jerk-off session with a school pal when first learning about masturbation. But. . . I have great fascination with the site of another guys cock and balls. Whether he is hard or soft is not important; I enjoy watching other guys (and women) and showing what I have also. I do it using my computer cam on some of the free video cam sites that are available. Using the sexual orientation grid discussed up top of this thread, I am just off the str* and into the gay sides of things. Let's all be proud of being guys and admit that many (no make that most) guys are curious as to what others might be like and how we compare.
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