Mens Sexual Issues

Hey, jrocker, you're right -- it has been unusually quiet around here lately. Like you I like to take a break while something is running and check out what randy thoughts might be under discussion here, sort of like going into a familiar bar to get a little refreshment.

But lately it's been like going into a bar where nobody's there, and that's kind of dull. So, come on guys, let's see what we can come up with and post something. And no, I don't know of any other sites where the guys might have gone.

I'll start the ball rolling by bringing up the subject of absent-minded masturbation. The other day I was sitting in a stall thinking over a problem, looked down and saw my hand was pumping a semi-hard cock. Well, I thought, this is nice -- but do I just stop and go back to work or see this through and have some unplanned relaxation. It can go either way and has sometimes. This time I decided to complete the process to ejaculation -- and hey, I can feel myself stiffening up as I remember the incident and tell you about it. And reading this maybe you're joining me, too, in discovering that your undershorts suddenly don't seem to have enough room in them any more. (Your decision what to do).

Something else I was wondering when all this happened the other day -- when does rubbing or pulling one's penis stop being just rubbing and pulling and becomes masturbation? Do you have to ejaculate in order for a session to be called masturbation? In which case you could never say "I am masturbating" but could only say "I masturbated" (or, "I will masturbate"). If it has to be completed to be 'official' then you couldn't use the present tense. This line of thinking is rather stupid but I did and do find it somewhat entertaining. Just what is masturbation, anyway? Like we don't know . . .

And relating to the original subject of absent-minded masturbation: I can remember some years back while watching TV with my wife she looked at me, laughed and asked me if I was having a good time? I suddenly realized that under my bathrobe I'd been pulling on my penis -- it wasn't hard and my mind had been on the show but sometimes that happens, just like wiggling your leg or something like that -- and I felt something like I had been 'caught' at something. I pulled my hand out and looked surprised. She then told me that I should keep on if I liked and it felt good, just that she thought it was funny. Since I had not been consciously beating off in the first place it was kind of hard to go back to what I was doing but I did find it cool that she was fully comfortable with my doing it. In fact there wasn't anything I might do by myself which I couldn't do with her around as well. I really appreciated that!

OK, it's your turn -- you've read this, now you tell us something interesting.

Well I received an email from a buddy who I hadn't heard from in a while and we have some chats that really get me hot for lack of a better word and I immediately got hard from reading the email so I took a walk to the men's room just to let my penis out so it wasn't squashed in my shorts, luckily I was alone so I gave it a rub next thing I know I jumped into a stall and completed the deal. It felt great to let it go at work, usually never alone I was waiting for someone to walk in on me.

you and Rocker are great. I had not checked Webmd for a few weeks until yesterday I got a direct e mail from Jes Walters about if I was enjoying my masturbating ....

So here I am back. I only joined webmd a month or so back. What I think I found here is a group of guys who are very comfortable with their sexuality. Let me first say that my early life family sit resulted in me by 10 miss using my sexuality as my only emotional coping tool.

Sex never evolved from being a fast jerkoff.. It never became intimate..just an orgasm, fun. I never had the privacy or the time to relax, prolong, edge to enjoy mb. I wanted to stop anonymous sex with guys (orgasms) at 20 but I could not stay stopped very long. I did not yet know I was addicted to this behavior. I married at 25 not having ao for almost a year assuming I was over meeting anonymously with guys but it came back.

While I enjoy reading your candid posts about how talking with a buddy can get you aroused, or seeing some good-looking guy naked in your gym lockeroom, for me I need to address my core issue first. For some reason I think some of the guys on Webmd may have some good helpful insight or experiences to share with me.

Here is the deal. I am happy with my marriage but I have a lot of shame resulting my withholding of physical intimacy with my wife for several years and want to face and overcome my fear of intimacy. We deserve better.

2583 words left.

When other little boys were receiving from their mosts their unconditional love, affirmation, touch I was not. I did not even get conditional love, I knew I was not wanted or loved, but constant criticism was abundant. I evolved by 7 that women were not trustworthy, they did not have my best interest at heart. Stay away from them. I became afraid of them.

I over rode it with Lust and Alchol for our first years but suddenly fear of non performance began to overcome in bed and nothing kills arousal like fear so I began withholding that it was better than facing my fear getting help. I have not ao with any men for almost 2 years. Weird that most of them were other married guys doing the same thing.

Yes, I have male good friends. nothing sexual. I know I need a few friends that we can communicate openly and a bunch of acquaintance type guys. My goal here is to overcome my fear and experience healthy sexual intimacy with my wife first. Weird, but my mind wants to tell me that when I have accomplished this with my wife I might be able to enjoy hanging out naked non sexual with guy friends. Like going to a sweat lodge

Feedback welcome

Hey Ron I hope you are able to have an intimate relationship with your wife.It's wonderful to have someone who you can share yourself with and be comfortable in doing so. You seem to have identified your personal issues and are working on them. Having someone to support you is an asset. Try not to pressure yourself to preform just let it happen and let go you'd be surprised how natural things come when you are open to it . Don't be hard on yourself if you find yourself not always living up to your expectations either you are working things out so go a little at a time. Let me know how your making out I check the boards often

What is your first name Rocker?

Thanks for the reply. The materials I found to use a a guide are well written. I/we rarely watch movies but in a hurry last weekend I stopped at RedBox and not knowing anything I picked a comedy... HotSpring. It was build on the cover "A comedy about the difference between men and women. Fortunately, my wife and I both have a healthy senses of humor. But it was spot on giving our issue hope. Actually, Billy Jones was an ass. Now that I have introduced my wife to the material and she is reading it at her pace I am inclined to let her take the lead. Along with some subtle comments... like "so what's wrong with the living room? I have read most of what you have posted and like the way you think. Have you ever heard of a guy withholding sex before?

Jake - I'm glad you are working things out. you can check the member listing my email is posted if you want to chat off the boards.

Gymrat - you always come up with the most thought provoking posts. Absentminded masturbation - what a great topic! I too have used auto-stroking to get my creative juices flowing - in more ways than one! I've also been caught by my wife brushing my cock while watching tv. Not so much to reach a full blown erection and lead to ejaculation, just good old strumming cause it feels good. I would say that just the action of touching oneself in a sexual manner would be considered masterbation even without orgasm. I guess the un-aware stroking would be borderline masturbation.

On the subject of getting aroused and taking action while reading these posts - I will most certainly admit that there are more times than not when there's a stirring in my pants while reading the exploits of my fellow posters. I definately found myself in the situation where my undershorts didn't have enough room - and I will take matters into my own hands and satisfy the situation!

More so when I was younger I found myself where I needed to get myself to the restroom at work to get some relief. There was one specific time my wife and I were talking over the phone and the discussion led to talk about sex. I wound up stroking my dick and getting more aroused - by the conversation, the sensation and the idea that I could have been caught. The last thing my wife said to me was to get to the bathroom and jerk off. Well of course I had to comply! It didn't take long to reach orgasm that time.

Thanks for getting the balls rolling jrocker and gymrat!

I guess rubbing your cock and balls during endless conference calls like I'm doing now.... sometime it's required just to make it through the calls so you don't lose your mind.....

Ah, conference calls, how to spend time making money without working! Sometimes after one is over I'll sign on here to see what's going on. This place can be like a familiar bar where you can stop by just to be yourself and relax a little. That does make it a treat to look forward to.

And Doogood -- I agree with you that the 'good old strumming' which you described really is masturbation and that one doesn't have to go all the way to ejaculation to make it so. But there probably is a point where a conscious choice is made to move from 'strumming' to 'stroking.' And stroking can be pleasurable in itself without it being semen productive. It's a rare morning that I wake up without myself saluting the new day, and giving a hard cock some friendly strokes and tugs is a good way to assure oneself that at least some parts of the new day will be good! It appreciates the attention and at this point doesn't always demand a full show.

Yes - there's a decisive point where subconscious moves into conscious and you decide to continue with the stroking - regardless of outcome - for the sheer pleasure of the action. ok - at the risk of going too far; I can say that every morning I go through a 'ritual' of sorts. Grab hold of the head under the glans, stretch it out and hold regardless of the extent of blood flow; scatch the pubes - maybe a couple of movements more than necessary to get rid of the matting and any itch; then go after the boys. Nothing beats a good tug or 5 on my sac with a couple of digs into the area where it connects to my abdomin. And just to finish off - sniff fingers, really deep to get my scent into my memory for the day.

I guess this counts as masturbation without ejaculation since it gets my body, blood and mind going and it's a consious act.

Anyone else get the day started like this?

I have heard that ANYTIME we intentionally do something with the intent to arouse ourselves that is masturbation. I think that can even include being naked and fantasizing our own body?

hmmm - so just the act of thought and/or fantisizing counts as masturbation as long as there is the intent of being aroused. I auppose that could be the core ideal of masturbation - the intent and conscious actions of sexual arousal. Sounds good to me!