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What a Great Experience this group has become. The kinship in Brotherhood. There is such a diverse range of topics. This is the place we can be as open as we want to be... Everyone is welcome to join, but it is not a place to Cruise. It's for sharing sexual questions and comments among men.
Personal Confessions ( Sorry, kind of long)
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Beholder_of_Justice posted:
So, as I'm new here, I thought I'd do one of these as well. Not really a confession per se though.

Looking back on my life, I was always gay. I didn't understand or know what gay was, but all my intimate interactions with guys left me feeling so good. Don't confuse intimate with sexual. I'm talking about hanging with the guys, wrestling with them, drinking with them..just being with them made me immensely content.

When I finally came out as gay, I had no idea what to expect. I was moderately athletic and had a lot of geek interests as well. I had friends in all circles and traveled between them. All the time leading up to the realization, I never actually thought I was gay. I grew up in a bad neighborhood, so I learned how to fight to keep from being a target all the time. I'm very easily a beta male. True alpha males are far and few in between. Anyway, I was nothing like the gay guys I was seeing in high school. Yet, I was called gay all the time. Of course, after laying the dude out with my fist, it usually stopped. I say usually because when you hit someone a lot larger and stronger than you, it doesn't always turn out well for you.

I'm not accustomed to talking positively about myself, so please don't think I'm arrogant or anything. I've just not actually done this before. I've never been a bad looking guy, but I had a look that I owned pretty well. I mixed clothing styles too pretty well. I hate how much of an extravert I am. A lot of things about me made me interesting to the gay guys I was meeting. While I wasn't sleeping with every guy that moved initially, I was having a lot of fun. Unfortunately, a former friend felt he was losing his chance with me because I was being social. Now, I'm a fraternity alum and I played Lacrosse. That doesn't make me a different person nor did I let it. Everyone I was friends with before, I stayed friends with. Because I didn't exclusively travel with the brothers, I wasn't all that popular in the chapter. When we had events, I invited all the people I knew. Cool and popular never mattered. You had to be interesting. My former friend never believed that, so one night after doing heavy drinking, I passed out at his place and he peformed anal sex on me. Next morning was rough when I realized what happened and my personality took a horrible turn. I wasn't a gay basher, but I was damn close. I avoided gay guys beyond having to fulfill sexual needs. I think I was 26 or 27 when I felt this terrible emptiness. The great experiences I'd have with guys was gone and I couldn't figure out how to get it back. I stopped hanging at gay bars and started hanging at straight ones. Some how, I managed to start meeting guys there. Curse this extraversion. To say I was successful every time I went there, would be a lie. I'd look for guys that reminded me of ones I'd known over the years and start chatting. I'd put it out there that I'm gay and some guys would move on, but others would stay and be intriqued. Having a sexual experience is always nice, but I did whatever just to be with an actual guy again. Most of the people I knew thought I was getting off on converting regular guys. I was always confused on that because people can't really do that. I never really cared. I liked guys that acted like guys. If I wanted a female acting person, I'd be straight.

Thx for reading.
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Married man, 30 years old. New to this site. Great sex life with my wife. Confused about men.

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