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What a Great Experience this group has become. The kinship in Brotherhood. There is such a diverse range of topics. This is the place we can be as open as we want to be... Everyone is welcome to join, but it is not a place to Cruise. It's for sharing sexual questions and comments among men.
Performance anxiety or ED?
An_253282 posted:
Hey guys, so I am pretty new to this whole thing. I haven't had a steady girlfriend since 08. During that time I had some premature ejaculation issues and really lost my confidence, and the girl didn't help things. Following then, I got really self concious and would actually avoid sex, for fear of that embarassment. The only time I would let myself go is when I was drunk, and the alcohol helped relieve some of the pressure. I went 5 years with just a few drunk sex encounters, never more than once and not many, I think 5 in total. Now I have a great girlfriend, she is amazing and beautiful. We started out I was having some erection issues, and I thought it may be porn ED because I would masturbate to porn over those years, and didn't really have any female contact. So I stopped masturbating and things got better, and we went 2 months with no real issues, and I finally started having sober sex for the first time in 5 years. But just recently again, I would have trouble maintaining an erection. When things were good for the 2 months, I had some premature ejaculation issues, and I think maybe it started to open up old insecurities, but subconciously? The issue is if I had trouble getting an erection, like an hour later I would be fine and we would end up having sex. And she is super supportive, but I feel awful when I can't get seem to get it up that first time. I then find myself thinking about it all day if I have a problem that requires medical attention. I start trying to get erections all day and when I don't I start to think my fears are confirmed. Bottom line is I think that it is in my head since I am able to get erections after my failed attempts, but I am just unsure and really nervous about everything. Thoughts? Ideas? Tips?
sluggo45692 responded:
Tip: breath and relax.
You didn't say how old you are, but every man is different. The way I got over performance anxiety was don't worry about me. Please her. Make sure she orgasms first, then after that it's cake. You can make her go by oral or fingers first. Once you know she had some, you get yours.
Start at her neck and kiss your way down. When you finish down below, I don't think you'll have a problem have a problem with an erection. The reason you said you have better drunk sex is because you are relaxed. I'm just the opposite. I drink and things fall down. My favorite way to relax with my partner is shower together. Yea, I love washing and cleaning her up and she will too. Once you've touched every where there is not anxiety in touching her some more. She's relaxed and your relaxed.
Good Luck
stevesmw responded:
I agree with sluggo45692 said. PE issues are a problem, if you partner isn't satisfied , so take care of her first . It's almost a compliment in that you partner is so stimulating you can't control yourself.
The best way to deal with PE is having a supportive partner and having a lot of intercourse. The anxiety goes away and the control improves.

The worst situation I think a man can be in is when his partner only wants intercourse and expects to be satisfied.
It's not an easy task and leads to PE and ED.
emediof responded:
try viagra
whimen1956 responded:
You might be having psychological issues that cause you failure of erection. You might try some medications for ED that would help you solve the problem, such as tadalafil.

You may go to this site for more information about ED cures:

However, to ensure you get the appropriate diagnosis of what causes you to experience this problem is to go to your doctor and have it checked. You might also be having other health issues.

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