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What a Great Experience this group has become. The kinship in Brotherhood. There is such a diverse range of topics. This is the place we can be as open as we want to be... Everyone is welcome to join, but it is not a place to Cruise. It's for sharing sexual questions and comments among men.
What do I do regarding this?
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cmatthewm posted:
I'm a sixteen year old male and trying to stop masturbating. My girlfriend and I discussed guy stuff including masturbation and I just think I could be a better person if I stop. I told her i'd stop and I stopped for a few weeks and started back up again ( because I found out my masturbating didn't bug her. It was the magazines I used as a visual aid). So I started up again. I still feel like I should stop so I promised myself I wouldn't do it again last night before I fell asleep. Then, when I got home, I broke my promise so I feel guilty. What happens is I'll think, "Okay i'm done." But then i'll get home from school and I have the ure to do so. So I think, "Eh screw what I said earlier." and masturbate. What can I do to break this habit if I can't even promise myself I'll stop?
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john-skpt responded:
I think that you initially set an unrealistic goal, especially for a 16 year old guy.

You're at an age when the hormones are just going wild and some things are really difficult to control. (That will calm down in a few years, but for the time being, you are a slave to what your body is telling you to do.)

This unrealistic goal and the failure to match it is now making you feel guilty. That you CAN control. If it does not bother your gf, then I don't see a big problem.

Medieval monks used to beat themselves with sticks to drive out their 'evil impulses'. I definitely do not recommend that course of action. The monks' self-imposed sexless existence is far more irrational than your desire to 'just stop', still both are to one degree or another, unnatural.

If you can relax about the whole situation, then I think you will be better off.

As it is, you have set up a goal, failed to match it, AND made this activity the "forbidden pleasure". That can just make you crave it more. (Try telling yourself that you can never eat another bite of chocolate. You suddenly have a mad hunger for chocolate.)

Try just to talk it over with the gv and get to a place where you can just relax and accept it as a part of life.
 
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gymguygreg responded:
cmatthewm,

My youngest son is 15 and I have three other sons up to age 24. From the time I saw each one was starting puberty, I encouraged them to masturbate. They do and they all enjoy it. Unless you are at a point where you start having a fulfilling sex life with a parnter, masturbation is an extremely safe and healthy outlet for your sexual urges. I assume you have strong urges at your age, right?

I am curious why you think you should stop? Did your parents or a religious leader tell you it was bad? I think today most doctors agree masturbation is a good thing. The problem is the way many guys masturbate. It is so common to rush through to orgasm and to stroke your penis as fast as possible. When it comes time to engange in intercourse with a partner, some guys have problems cumming because it is so different than the way they have learned to cum.

I have sex with my wife about 4 times a week. Even so, I still masturbate every day. If your sex drive makes you want to do it, I wonder why you would want to quit? I hope this helps. Sex should be a very enjoyable part of your life, not something to cause you turmoil.
 
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ammar57 replied to gymguygreg's response:
I agree with Greg, This is good advise. I used to feel guilty as a youth and and took years to realize that it is a very normal thing. As a minister let me say that God does not consider it a sin for a man to be healthy.
 
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pogo99 replied to john-skpt's response:
As long as you don't substitute having a healthy relationship with your partner due to masturbation...go ahead and masturbate and don't be some hard on yourself. Just make sure it doesn't interfere with your relationships.
 
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SUPdude responded:
At your age I was beating that thing twice a day to keep my eyes straight.

Just remember, its' not a lifestyle.......... it's a indulgence. Keep the focus on a relationship like the other posters stated.
 
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texas7t replied to gymguygreg's response:
how was it you taught you boys to masturbate? You just tell them, or catch them in the act? or they caught you?
I grew up in a large family.. I was a loner.. and had to learn everything by myself. My dad wanted nothing to do with me. No fishing, baseball, not even gone to my basketball games, or helped me with my cup scout activities. I have 4 other brothers and I never did see them do it.
I was outside in the woods, taking a leak, and was shaking it, and it grew... and I kept at it then BAM.. it was great.. but since no one else told me anything.. I wasn't sure what was going on.
 
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tftobin replied to texas7t's response:
It's sad that your dad wanted nothing to do with you.
My dad was pretty much the same way.
I've found that you can still grow up, be a decent guy, and a good father, without much love from your dad.
 
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texas7t responded:
you ever watch Doc Oz, on TV? its healthy to wack off.. every day.. Just as long as you have good sex, you can wack off as much as you can handle..
I am who I am, that is all I will ever be.
 
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Trouble_Jones replied to tftobin's response:
Dude,

My old man was exactly the same, he just worked and came home, that was it. Thank god for dictionaries and encyclopedias b/c without them I still don't think I would know what sex was....a slight exaderation, i would sneek dad's porn as a kid, but it's the principle of it is all. Not sure how I would go about it with my son, if I ever have one. What do you all think is the best way to teach your son about "Man stuff"?
 
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Handytim replied to Trouble_Jones's response:
when I was 17, I did it 2-3 times a day,,,couldnt get enough...this WILL tame down after a few years, now I do it once a day
 
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sfcjack responded:
Forget the promises. One day you'll wake up and realize you just don't masturbate as much as you used to. Age and nature has a way of taking care of all that for you. For now, enjoy it! Remember, you're only going to have just so many erections in your lifetime. Don't waste them!!!!
 
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novavers1 responded:
Yes, all modern day science says it is GOOD to masterbate and have lots of orgasms. Use it or loose it! many young men masterbate 4-5-6 or more times a day. Many married men also still masterbate daily even as they continue to have intercourse with their partners. Be grateful that your body is healthy and you have the sexual urges and ability to get an erection and jack off and cum and reach orgasm. I think it is terrible that the catholic church has fostered the idea that jerking off is wrong! or a sin! They are wrong! Any doctor will tell you jerking off is good for you. and there is absolutely NO REASON to feel any guilt for pleasuring yourself. You will still have a healthy sexual relationship with your partner even if you are just kissing and embracing. In a few years, you may begin to enjoy being naked together and bringing each other to orgasm. It is a gift to help a loving partner have an orgasm. (whether by hands, mouth and lips, or intercourse.) Most women enjoy oral sex the best even more than intercourse. It gives them more stimulation...just as with men, as men get older, many men can no longer cum during intercourse...only through masterbation. Boys have jerked off since they first touched their tiny baby penis and experienced that it felt good. They may not yet get erect or ejaculate or have an orgasm, but it feels good. Praise god that you are a healthy young man with healthy desires!


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