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Questions prior migraine variant diagnosis / conclusions.
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Watarimono posted:
This is going to be a lengthy post, documenting the entirety of the "progression" of my migraines. I am curious as to what others say of it. Bear in mind, I wouldn't be surprised if I had some other underlying disorder, as some symptoms simply do not match migraine.

A year and a half or so ago, after being diagnosed with multiple severe food allergies, and removing them from my diet (I made sure to avoid imbalanced nutrition) I began to gradually get migraine type headaches. For a long time prior I've had "perpetual migraine aura" (The aura never fully goes away). It began with me feeling strangely, a fracturing of consciousness in a sense. Inability to remember basic information, just feeling generally sloppy. I became paranoid, would see things. My memory is hazy, a few weeks later it moved into full pain and neurological dysfunction. They would typically arise at work, or driving home / after taking a shower (My best guess is shampoo was to blame, sodium laureth sulfate / fragrances and whatnot). I forced myself to work through them and the lights danced about, text would appear to be moving. I'd get dizzy, weak, force myself to remain steady on my feet. The pain is always isolated on the "inside" of my forehead. It presents as a tightness, and inability to move the muscles accompanied by a strong burning sensation. On very rare occasions, its spread fully into the parietal regions. It also always manifests itself with neurological deficit, beyond pain. Normally this is confined to lingual, and visual processing functions. Memory is sometimes involved as well. I know when a worse one is coming on by a "limp" sensation in my left arm, as though it feels out of place, or not there.

I visit a neurologist. Receive an MRI, comes back clean. No sign of nerve axon decay, demyelination, no tumors or abnormal structures. Being paranoid, I checked it myself as well. To be entirely honest, I'd begun to think perhaps there were chips hidden in my brain which were the cause of the perceived neurological decline. Still don't know if its all just a ruse, but it seems unlikely.

Moving on. The migraines slowly get more and more frequent, until they're practically daily. At least 5 days per week. Magnesium oxide WORSENS it, makes me feel half conscious and exacerbates the visual processing deficit. Vitamin B2 has proven ineffective. Was allergic to feverfew. Butterbur is and was, of negligible effect. showing that the issue is not Calcium chloride ion channels / voltage gates.

As of yet, alcohol is the only "treatment" that has been effective, potato vodka, to be exact. I feel as though the blanket of pain and cognitive faculty crippling is suddenly, just a sliver, briefly lifted away. Thats hardly a sustainable treatment, nor a cheap one.

When I was younger I used to have panic attacks. The world would suddenly become hostile, there was an invisible threat just beyond the peripheries of my senses. That still happens, but I handle it much better. I've felt things beyond human language, from the deepest detachment, to a feeling of disembodiment and being in a state of non-existence, to a sense of tainted bliss. Even the most clear minded states I can ever recall. But I feel like there's something else just beyond my grasp, I've glimpsed a sliver of it, felt my finger tips glance across its surface, but cannot homogenize it. My mind and mental states are erratic, I've felt like I'm losing my memory, I've felt like I'm living a hallucination, or a dream. I've woke up and been unable to remember what I stand for, who I am. I lose more and more every day. I've even felt utter anhedonia and apathy.

The migraines have grown more and more severe, and all my neurological natural defenses are failing. I feel as though I'm wasting away. Is this it? I can no longer do anything right, I forget the most important lessons of my life, I feel my mind slipping away. (Will continue)
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Watarimono responded:
Looks like I have a typo in the title.
Questioning prior migraine variant diagnosis / conclusions.**
(continued)
I feel as though, a younger, more mentally competent (I barely trust myself to drive anymore) might have overlooked something. Its rare a case of encephalitis doesn't kill, or result in a coma / major brain damage. And its been a year . Chronic inflammation from allergies I also don't see being so drastic. Migraines of course naturally cause a loss of grey matter density over time, but it seems like I've lost too much, too fast.
I had an event that resembled a stroke, that I detailed here -
http://forums.webmd.com/3/stroke-exchange/forum/793
Not certain I ever fully recovered. I don't have insurance, and I lack the brainpower lately to properly evaluate, much less type and organize a paragraph. Like my attempt above. I feel like its the twilight of life, or perhaps I've just gotten weak and given up. Eating anything, anything at all, seems to trigger pain. I've suggested all the tests so far, I've done all the work, everything I have, is because of me thinking it through. Yet I'm the one in debt.

I'm at the end of my rope. Watching pieces of my mind slip away, in chronic pain. Afraid to take a shower, or go near candles. I force myself to function at 80%, at the least. But its wearing me down, and I'm fully aware I have limitations.

The last things on my list are some insulin abnormality, or parietal lobe epilepsy. Beyond that, I have nothing left.

I've done my best to stay on my feet despite this. Very few people, not that I interface with many, even know about it. I would like, anyone's....input. On this all.

Endnote. I have completely removed anything with MSG, free glutamic acid, nitrates, excess histamine, excess tyramine. Food still causes pain or neurological dysfunction.

No food. For days. Still causes, neurological dysfunction. Magnesium oxide makes things much worse within an hour.

Appreciate your feedback in advance.
 
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Watarimono replied to Watarimono's response:
A clarification. By "last thing on my list", I mean list of things to test for, or evaluate.
 
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Watarimono replied to Watarimono's response:
I'm going to bump this once. I don't expect anyone to read through it, or even respond. But if anyone has anything at all to say, I'd be interested to hear it.
 
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itmatsb replied to Watarimono's response:
You don't mention seeing a neurologist other than to get an MRI which only rules out severe conditions like a brain tumor. You definitely need medical help. Have you continued to see a neurologist? What does the doctor give you to treat it? If you haven't kept seeing a neurologist, get an appointment ASAP. No can properly diagnose you on a website, but you definitely have problems which need to be addressed. Good luck to you.
 
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Watarimono replied to itmatsb's response:
I saw two neurologists. The first was the one that ordered an MRI. After it came back clean, she said "You have migraines." My brain was the equivalent of a ball of cotton at the time. There was a lot that didn't seem to add up properly, but in any case. She prescribed vitamin B2, and magnesium oxide, both of which as far as maintaining proper nerve function made sense.

Condition wears onwards, b2 does not produce noticeable results. I go back for some kind of follow up. Say I didn't agree with her diagnosis, that the premise of migraines simply didn't fit with this level of symptoms. She recants that with "I'm sorry, tell me, where did you do your residency?" She then says, "You have migraines."
"I don't agree, other avenues need to be explored."
She throws her things down and says, "Look, I don't have time to be dealing with people like you." I was in a massive amount of pain at the time, but whatever part of my mind was intact, felt a pang of disappointment. And disgust in that in the vast colored line that life is, I can recall not a single point when a person conducted themselves properly without the ego driving their actions.
I said "People like, me? PEOPLE LIKE ME?"
She kicks me out, and calls security for good measure. I suppose she must have discerned she was out of line and wanted to shirk having to take responsibility for it or defend her mindset. Don't know. Doesn't matter.

I went to another neurologist. It took another 3 months to get to an appointment, despite being on the cancellation list. They also, came to the conclusion of migraines. I told them practically all the...mental occurrences I was having, they did a basic neurological evaluation, said alcohol easing or preventing a migraine wasn't out of the ordinary. Gave me Nortriptyline HCL 10mg. It did nothing for me, and I hated how it made me feel. Ceased taking it. Many aspects in personal life come up shortly after, have to keep pushing myself to continue on.
-Try butterbur, feverfew, ginger, rubios, lavendar, various systemic anti-inflammatories. Continue to worsen. Become a psychological mess, yet as stated above, despite the crippling dysfunction, there were moments of clarity and bliss. Haven't the slightest what is going on, despite a bit of a background in medicine myself. Have erratic functional vs. nonfunctional states, duality of a sort.

Going back to a neurologist on the 24th. I feel as though I've lost a lot of my mental faculty. Clarity of thought is a foreign concept, anything reminiscent of beauty in the world is crumbling away. Losing memories.

In all honesty. A younger me failed to discover what the issue was. He was much more intelligent, fought, and fought, and fought. Every speck of progress was because of his actions, despite every physician getting in the way. Yet he failed, and now he doesn't exist. I don't think I can fill his shoes, but there are really no choices beyond continuing on until I have no justification left to exist. I'd be lying to say I expect to recover, or even remember / know what recovery is or could be. I know enough about cellular processes to plot down a rough course of what feels like damage or progression. Some days I wish I could let myself die, some days I hope whatever is ravaging my mind has the capacity to kill me. I feel trapped. And after a lifetime of what seems like ceaseless conflict and fighting, I just feel tired.

I don't fear death, I only fear incapacitation. I fully expect this next neurologist appointment to not yield useful results. Anything said by anyone here is vastly important, it lets me branch off via contrast and arrive in new places. Thank you for your response.


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