I just need to get this off my chest. I've had MS for a year or more now and just thinking about living with the continuous pain; the constant headache, the constant MS hug feeling, the numbness, eye pain, etc; I promise if I didn't have a family that needed me I would pull into a garage and go to sleep with the engine running. Living with this for a year has been indescribably painful and terrible, but just thinking about the next 40 years is more than I can bare. Can't talk to anyone. Parents would freak, wife would say I'm mental, could lose job, and kids would cry so much. So sad to contemplate future. Wish it was all over. I know others may have it even worse than me, so I know some would say I should be thankful and while I am thankful for that and my heart goes out to everyone suffering, it doesnt change the way the past year has made me feel. I know I can't be alone. Would be so happy if God would call me home.
know how you feel i just found out 6 months ago that i have ms in pain all the time cant stand at work for more than 4 hours at a time im so tired all the time fall asleep all the time i forget things also sad all the time i say to myself when i cant walk anymore im checking out and i will not let anyone talk me out of it i have work all my life now having a hard time just being able to stand or walk they have me on copaxone for the last month waitting to see if this works or helps so keep in touch i will let you know what my next step is i know how you think and feel
Pain and other symptoms of MS along with the grief of an MS diagnosis can make us all feel hopeless. My first few years were the hardest and I did not talk to anyone about it.
Over time, terror about the future began to subside. It was never an easy road, but I adjusted to the feeling that there is no such thing as security. Learning about the disease and symptom management made me feel a little more in control of my life.
I hope you are working with your neurologist to manage your pain, there are many symptom medications to try and it does take time to find the right ones for you.
Finally, ya gotta talk about it. Come here often, you will find a lot of support from people who are just like you. Also, a therapist can give you a safe place to talk it out and give you some tools to start talking to your family. Their support is going to be very important for your mental health. You are all in this together.
Totally agree w/Kim!!! A therapist, someone to sit & talk it out with helps. My local MS Center actually hooked me up with one who specializes in MS. She understands better than I do!
My question is: You look for solace, comfort & and a feeling of understanding from an online 'family' here on WebMD. Trust me, your real family & friends will understand and help you much more than you know.
They say: MS, you don't get it unless you got it. Well...I still don't get it! ;^)
Part of MS is depression and you should talk to someone who specializes in MS. I agree with the other guys, it is hard to accept all that is changing in your life and I know you don't want to hear "It could be worse"...so, I am going to also encourage you to keep contact with your fellow MSer's on this web site and don't give up.
You can talk on here anytime and we all understand and are not here to judge you or tell you "you are wrong"..It is ok to go through these tough times but don't give up...
I don't know if you are a religious person or not but I have found alot of comfort and peace with my Lord..I could not do this without him and I hold on to him for strength when I just don't have any on my own. God can use this illness in your life for some good somewhere..He is preparing me for whatever it is he has for me but I guess I am just not ready yet because I am still waiting for my diagnosis of MS even though I am sure MS is what is wrong with me and I understand it sometimes takes awhile for the confirmation but I have gone through the same things you are going through for almost two years now so I do know how you feel.
Hang in there, I am going to pray for God's grace for you and I thank God you found this site before you gave up.
I can understand where you are coming from. I have had MS for 14 yrs now. Living with the pain really sucks, plus everything that goes with it. And I remember wanting to do the same thing. Like everyone has said you really need to talk to someone. I finally found someone to talk to and it took time but it really did help alot. And I did scream and holler at the man upstairs, but he understood that I needed to vent. And the big thing that helped was when my husband went with me to one of my appt. and he finally understood, then I was able to talk to him. So please try and find someone to talk to...it really will help.... good luck with everything, and we will be here to listen to you......
I have not yet been officially diagnosed with MS, but it is coming. I am also struggling with a lot of pain and have thought many times how to make it all stop. It's a scary thought, but sometimes it feels like it would be a relief. BUT THEN, I think about my mom. I lost her last year to ALS and that was the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I think about what she endured and how brave she was.
When I think about what I could be facing and what others have endured, then MS doesn't seem like the worst thing out there. I almost pray it is MS and not ALS.
It's sounds like you have a family who loves you and needs you, no matter what you are going through. Let them love you through it...all the way through it.
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