Skip to content
My WebMD Sign In, Sign Up
Laughter is a great Medicine!! Ladies can you equate yet? Gents ... have sympathy!
avatar
Csewhappy posted:
WARNING TO WOMEN!!

Some of you may have already been warned of this.....

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?

I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.

Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My bum was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new bum was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favour of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched.
One morning I was drying my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time.

What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic ' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last week I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

Thought this was too 'important' not to pass on. Have a wonderful day - with a joy filled heart.

P.P.S. - These same thieves came into my closet and shrank my clothes! How do they do it????

Just thought you should know.
Have a fun day if you can,
best wishes to you all,
Carol
Was this Helpful?
22 of 33 found this helpful
Reply
 
avatar
hackwriter responded:
Ah, Carol, what a relief! I thought my dead Sicilian grandmother was inhabiting my body!

Kim
 
avatar
Csewhappy replied to hackwriter's response:
Wow Kim,

....I wish I was so witty! I'm not sure which one I laughed at more
The one I posted above arrived in my e-mail this morning from a friend - I'd been sharing the woes of gravity with her a couple of days ago. I laughed out loud ... but your's has really sparked my imagination.
No wonder you're a writer. I'm still giggling as I write.

Carol
 
avatar
Csewhappy replied to Csewhappy's response:
Note to self .. don't tell your husband Kim's jokes when he's at the top of a ladder!
He found it very funny too.
 
avatar
hackwriter replied to Csewhappy's response:
OMG, you mean I'm the only one channeling dead relatives?
 
avatar
Csewhappy replied to hackwriter's response:
Yep ... looks like it

BUT, if nobody believes my alternative tale of woe about the surreptitious replacement of my body parts, I'm taking up the channelled by dead relatives option. It may even seem more credible
 
avatar
Cyncla replied to Csewhappy's response:
Ha ! Now I get it. I was wonderin' what was goin' on. Thank you for getting to the bottom of this mystery and shedding the light.
 
avatar
Csewhappy replied to Cyncla's response:
My pleasure... I was soooooo relieved when I found out!!
 
avatar
magickalme responded:
LMAO!! So funny, thank gooooodness for depends! (Just kidding).

I wanat tocopy this and send it to all my gal pals who must have had that same group harvest her. You think maybe they moved closer to the action, say maybe Sacramento?I do!!
breathe AND laugh, that'sthe ticket!
flapkat (an oldie)
 
avatar
magickalme replied to hackwriter's response:
Yo, hackwriter! It's flapkat...alive and living. would you mind inviting me to the invite-only exchange?? I am dying for chat...
but,
breathing!
flapkat
 
avatar
magickalme replied to Csewhappy's response:
Just as long as I don't get poor melanie griffiths lips...some suction went wrong there.
flapkat...no, that does NOT refer to my flapping boobs or underarms...
but it could!
flapkat
 
avatar
hackwriter replied to magickalme's response:
Flap,

I'm having tech trouble posting new stuff on WebMD. What about Facebook chat or email?

Let me know.

Kim
 
avatar
Csewhappy replied to magickalme's response:
LOL - they must be harvesting over a pretty wide area ... I have friends affected to (probably not to the same extent as me :-{ ), but I live in England.

Stay breathing and laughing,
Carol
 
avatar
Csewhappy replied to magickalme's response:
... I know the feeling - in fact I've discovered that elbows and knees can flap too, sigh.

Any ideas for trimming up that don't involve walking, running or aerobics (they're now out of my league) ... oh, and that don't involve giving up food (a passion of mine)? I noticed WebMd had a 'Diet Exchange'. I nearly popped in there ... but lost all courage.

Incidentally, remember the thieves I mentioned who came into my closet and shrank all my clothes? Well, those impish little critters have gone and visited every clothes store in the land and sewn in stupidly incorrect labels!
Carol


Featuring Experts

Neil S. Lava, MD, is the director of the multiple sclerosis clinic at Emory University in Atlanta. He has been treating multiple sclerosis patients si...More

Helpful Tips

Wealth of vitamin D and MS information
There is a lot of information on vitamin D and MS at VitaminDWiki. Shortcut to the MS material is http://tinyurl.com/MSVitaminD . You ... More
Was this Helpful?
24 of 31 found this helpful

Related News

There was an error with this newsfeed

Related Drug Reviews

  • Drug Name User Reviews

Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.