Hello! I am a month away from birth and looking for some support. I am soooo sick of having women ask me if I am going to have an epidural and acting hostile when I tell them that I am planning a natural birth. Seriously what is wrong with these people! Just becuase they coudn't do it doesn't mean that they should be angry that someone else is wanting to try. I am stunned that other women are so unsupportive about it and downright rude. To someone who is eight months pregnant no less. I swear my hormone levels are getting so high I could probably backhand one of these ladies and blame it on the baby. Please if you have any positive stories or any helpful information about what worked for you let me know. I have done my own research but I feel like I need to talk with someone who knows firsthand. Thanks for reading this and I look forward to hearing from you...
I'm about two months from the birth of my first child and chose to do the hypnobabies program. Which I love! Though you'd be too far along to have time to complete a hypnosis course. takes a minimum of 6 wks.
I have also had some interresting conversations with other women, but I learned the secret early on. I try to remember that they don't mean to be unsupportive or rude, they just don't want anyone implying that they were unable to deliver naturally or that they somehow put their baby at risk by choosing the "easy way out". If I get defensive, they get defensive and vice versa. I always try to only talk about it if someone else wants too (bc my hypnobabies suggests avoiding any negitive birth stories, experiences, shows, etc) This allows me to avoid most of the negativity.
I try to always be just as supportive of what they chose as I am of what I am doing. I say things like, "You needed to be in the hospital bc that's where you felt safe. Feeling safe is very important. For me to feel safe I need to be in an environment where I feel less likely to be pressured, so I chose the location best for me." OR "You had an epidural and it gave you the birth you wanted which is a beautiful thing and every woman's goal. I would like to avoid it bc that is my goal for my birth. I need to do this for me as much as for the baby." Only if they get rude after I've attempted to be supportive of their birth choices do I say something like, "How do you know? You were numb at 3cm." OR "I don't listen to negative birth stories. What we dwell on we create for ourselves and I don't want to dwell on that." OR start dropping facts on all the complications that interventions cause. If they ask specifically why I want to avoid this or that intervention and are polite about it, I give them the facts in a gentle way. I.e. "There is a very small risk of... and I'm a scaredy cat so I worry that will happen to me."
I rarely have to be negative though bc aside from being concerned over where I am delivering, most ppl are more than happy to support me when I'm being so supportive of their right to choose also:)
I probably have a worse time of it bc I'm not delivering in a hospital. Instead I am using a birth center. I feel as well preparred as a person can be for something they've never done and the distance between me and the availible epidural should help me if my composure starts to slip. I always tell ppl that no I've never delivered before but that I know no woman has ever birthed forever and I will probably survive:) They can't really argue with that.
hi there, im only three and a half months along with my first but i have had the same experience. its funny, u get all this unwanted advice when ppl know your pregnant but ne thing they dont agree with or didnt do themselves is soooooo wrong. and ive actually had more smirks, dirty looks and under the breath huffs when ppl hear im goin natural than ne thing but a few of the more "bold" have sarcastically wished me good luck. i ignore em, i chose my birth plan because its what i feel is best for my child. im not trying to prove ne thing n i dont think im better than ne one else because there way isn't mine. and although i like ur blamen a punch on the baby im not sure that will hold up. lol
Hi Guys! Thank you so much for your support and answers! It really does help to hear from women with the same ideals. I too have had the sarcastic gook lucks how sad. I also had one lady tell me yester day that I can't eat hot wings because they are spicy. I asked her if she even has any children. She said no. I asked her if she should really be trying to tell me what to do. At this point I'm ready to have this baby and just crabby with everyone. I feel like I am well prepared. My ins. won't even cover a midwife so I will be at a hospital being watched over. I have written in my birth plan for them to keep things as natural as they can with as little intervention as possible. Hopefully the techniques I have learned will see me through. Due in about two weeks now. Wish me luck!
In a hospital, the important thing to remember is that you have the right to refuse ANYTHING as long as the situation doesn't become an emergency. If you've researched what the real warning signs are, you can dismiss the staff if they try to coherce you into somthing. Knowing that being slow to progress doesn't matter as long as baby's okay and that if you let them break your water you are on their time line can give you the upper hand in a natural birth. Also, when you get there, ask if they have a nurse who is skilled with and likes to work with moms who birth naturally. she may be your best tool.
I made it through my first without and epidural. I used counterpressure, deep breathing techniques, and mental visualization. This is my second baby and now I am studying hypnobabies--it is really relaxing listening to the hypnosis tracks and I hope it works to help with the labor pains. Birth is a natural process and if you are not afraid of it and can learn to relax, you can get through it. Good luck to you
I'm so glad to hear others dealing with this issue as well. This is my first and I'm at 33w3d. I can't have an epidural because of issues with my spine. I've decided to go the natural route and not have my LO exposed to drugs. I have several friends who have made negative statements. One says I'm crazy for not wanting an epidural. A few have said oh you'll change your mind. One friend is an RN (a virgin). She says why would you want to deal with the pain since there's so many drugs you can have. I do have one coworker that had both of hers without drugs and she said go for it, you can do it and you'll be great!
I think each woman should be able to choose how and where they want to birth without any negativity! I've told my husband if any one says anything negative in the delivery room they're out of there and that includes the midwife or nurses.
Hi ladies. I can honestly say I have seen both sides and I have a few regrets. Not be negative of course. The first birth I went in telling them I did NOT want an epidurral at all. Then the nurse overdosed my pitocin and sent me into shock forcing them to give me an epidurral to get me out of it. The second one I went from 4 p.m. to 10:30 a.m. without one. They finally suggested I have one then because the dr. was on call and happened to be in the hospital and they didn't know how long it would take him to get back if I waited. Yeah, before it ever kicked in, my son was born (10:42). AFTER the birth the epidurral kicked in. I was so disappointed in myself because I could have made it the whole time without one. I had such bad stiffness and soreness in my back after that and so I fully regret ever getting one. Natural is really not that bad (as I found out when the epi didn't kick in) and it is well worth the reward.
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