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We answer all types of Neurology/Neurological questions about the brain, spinal cord, and peripheral nerves. Include your age, sex, current meds, and known diagnoses, upcoming/completed appointments, tests, or procedures. We are not physicians. We help explain medical terminology and give support.
Male, 22 - NEVER had an orgasm or experienced sexual pleasure
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duskx posted:
Hello, I'm a 22 year old male and have never experienced an orgasm or any semblance of sexual pleasure in my life. Since the first time masturbating at the age of 13 I felt zero pleasure during the process and nothing at all when I ejaculated. There was never a feeling of buildup that people describe. It feels no different than rubbing my arm. I visited a urologist for the first time last month and he had no answers. I've tried many different treatments with no success, this includes countless supplements such as zinc, L-arginine, horny goat weed, L-dopa, L-histidine, L-tyrosine, GABA, yohimbe and more. I've also used a TENS unit to try electrical stimulation with no sensation. This leads me to believe I have extreme nerve damage in penis originating in childhood or even birth because the TENS unit does provide electrical sensations when I apply it to other parts of my body. My glans however is does have sensation when I touch it, just not the rest of my penis.

I had a lab done recently and the results showed my testosterone levels to be above average which only adds to the mystery. I have a masculine appearance. I'm very healthy with quite a bit of muscle mass so you would never expect me to have this condition by looking at me. I'm able to become aroused and get an erection but I can't maintain it during sex because there's no physical sensation or pleasure to keep it up. When I ejaculate there is no feeling of release or satisfaction. I feel like I would do anything in order to feel sexual pleasure...

The point of all this is that I believe this is the cause of nerve damage, not psychological in origin. Is it possible to restore sensation to my numb penile nerves?
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lifes responded:
Hi DuskX,

Before I answer this, I want to state I have neuropathy-- a pain condition that can cause anything from numbness to exquisite pain. So I know how 'nerves' can behave weirdly. But I'm female, so I must rely on things I read both generally and in the medical field as a nurse.

Here are some questions to consider. You don't state what your doctor's opinions have been. If the TENS was prescribed for this condition, exactly what is the doctor's theory? Or was TENS given for something else?

Almost all innervation including to skin and muscle begins in the CNS--brain and spinal cord. A low back injury (or birth defect) could disrupt nerve impulses, but I'd think you'd have a different pattern of symptoms, not just centered in the penis. For example, the peroneal nerve which feeds the sciatic nerve comes from Lumbar and Sacral Levels and wraps around the hip to the 'privates' and into the buttock (one nerve on each side of the body). You don't mention a spinal MRI so I assume you've never reported back pain.

Like women, the sensations men experience can differ widely. The glans/penis head is the most sensitive, with the shaft anywhere from no-very little sensation, to higher sensation-- so there is a wide range of "normal".

Most men report penile stimulation in the vagina has more to do with pressure and friction... for women, it is the same. But that has nothing to do with 'size' or 'tightness' of the vagina, though it may be enhanced in women who maintain good muscle tone. So in this respect, are you possibly expecting much more from vaginal-penile contact than is usually found?

Orgasm is a complex function between brain and sexual organs. 'Stimulation' is also a complex combination of many factors. For example, many women don't orgasm or have times when TNT couldn't 'get them off'... some women worry when they almost need 'above/beyond' normal stimulation to get excited. I suspect men can experience similar zero excitement.

You don't say if you've ever been super turned on with just seeing a hot girl... like when you see a stranger who really gets your motor running? Most men are visual creatures-- seeing or thinking of images can excite. (One reason men like porn more than women.)

You also don't say whether you've been madly in love in a high trust/love relationship.

You might also want to consider this--- How much stimulation do you expect (think) is needed to get an erection? When women routinely use a vibrator, nerve endings begin to expect that high intensity all the time. When you use a TENS anywhere on the penis, you are almost 'training' the skin and muscle receptors to only respond to HIGH intensity stimulation. NO hand, no woman, can EVER compete with that intensity. Plus, you train your body to ignore lower sensations.

Most nurses and sex therapists would likely suggest you practice re-training the skin/muscles to react to lower sensations. I don't mean to be graphic, but a man can become erect with just friction in pants or the light touch of fingers/fingernails against the skin. Just like experts tell women, when was the last time you 'made love' to yourself---meaning, lightly touching yourself, enticing yourself, truly 'pleasuring' yourself-- slowly, precisely, but with an experimental attitude "what happens if I?" like a new lover would do with you? If you are used to harder touch, rougher or more vigorous actions, why don't you take a half hour to just touch--- but not focus on whether you orgasm or not. Just focus on skin-on-skin touch-- how your hands/touch excite you. You may "feel nothing" the first few times. But your body may surprise you and really "turn on" to the lighter touch.

You might practice imagining sensations--- not focusing on doing "anything to experience sexual pleasure"-- but imagining, picturing, each moment of touch -- as if the lightest of touch IS already pleasurable.


This post may be disappointing, that I don't have a big answer to your concern.

Lifes


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