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Should I seek professional help?
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MartinaWilliams posted:
I remember posting right after I had my DD (she is now 6 months) that I was ready for another child. Well... the urge to have another one is still there and its so much more intense. I love having DD around but it just feels as if there is a missing puzzle piece that I need to be completely content. I cry most times because Im on birth control when I really dont want to be. And I think me constantly talking about another baby maybe putting a toll on my relationship with my bf, although he agrees another one would be nice, after he finds another job in Aug (which is when i am due for my next birth control shot), but im constantly talking about it. I am always online looking at baby stuff and am still very nostalgic when I see a newborn or I see DD's old clothes and how tiny they are. I dont know whats going on with me anymore. Im a fully functional mother toward DD but I spend most times thinking about having another child and how much happier I would be. Should I try to speak to a doctor or psychologist? Could something be wrong with me since the phase hasnt disappeared? Or should I just go with my heart and have another one in Aug.
Me (20), Bf (48) and DD,lilja born Nov.30.2010 . We Live in Jamaica for now :)
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GermaphobeTeacher responded:
I think that your desire to have another baby is completely normal. My daughter will be 6 months on Saturday, and we are planning to start working on baby number 2. The doctor said that it was fine. I was worried because I had read that you should wait at least a year between babies, but I also know several people who have their children close together with no problems. The one part that worries me about what you described is that you say that you feel like something is missing, and you think another baby would fill that void. That is something that I haven't experienced. It may be completely normal as well, but it wouldn't hurt to get an expert's advice. You want to make sure that your decision to have another is based on the right reasons. If you do decide to have another baby soon, good luck! I know how hard the waiting is once you decide you want a baby.
 
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kay_kay75 responded:
MartinaWilliams,

I am with you on this desire, DD is 5 months today and we are not standing in the way of #2 but it hasn't happened yet, partially because I have be BF'ing but that is getting less and less by the day so I don't think it will be long and we will be pregnant again, I also don't know if it being all you think about is a good thing, might be a form of post partum depression but I am no expert.
 
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MartinaWilliams responded:
Thanks. I just thought that the urge would have been less as time goes by, but I guess not. I will be speaking to my doc in Aug to see if he objects medically to us trying because I had a little complication with DD. Thanks again! :)
Me (20), Bf (48) and DD,lilja born Nov.30.2010 . We Live in Jamaica for now :)
 
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HMJ5678 replied to MartinaWilliams's response:
I don't think you need to see a psychologist. I think you just need to sit down and vocalize out loud some of these feelings. Maybe sit down and think of some pros and cons to having another baby at this time. Really give it some thought and try not to just focus on your emotions. Some moms are ready right away and some need some time. Same with children. Some children can handle siblings really close, where others may benefit from a little more time.

I remember after my daughter was born I felt the same way for a while. I love her so much and I just couldn't believe how happy I was to have her in my life. Holding that little newborn was the best feeling ever. I felt that way again with my son. He is 8 months and I ache when I see new babies, like I didn't just have my own. I think these are normals feelings.

The advice I gave a friend was think it through and also consider that it isn't super difficult taking care of a baby who cannot crawl and get into everything, who doesn't throw temper tantrums, cry when you leave the room, walk, run, etc. When your baby is old enough to do these things, you will have a newborn and a toddler. It is a lot of work and a BIG job for anyone. Just some thoughts. I am not for or against your feelings. Good luck!

Falling in love with those little ones is so unique, isn't it?
 
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chaquita1230 responded:
i would talk to someone(professional) ...could be PPD. if not go for #2. good luck! darcy
 
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eliguns841984 responded:
oh Martina, you worry me! Well, let me back up a bit.

As I stated the last time you posted about this topic, I have a lot of concerns about your boyfriend and the way he has treated you in the past. I don't mean to hold a grudge and in some cases people can change, but I don't know if I believe that his abusive tendencies just magically went away for good. I thought perhaps I was just remembering things to be worse than they were, so I just took a few mins and revisited the pregnancy boards to look up your old posts...yep, he was pretty horrible. The desire to have more children is totally normal, at any stage before or after baby. But it's so important to do your best to think about what is best for your future child(ren) and not what you want. If you truly feel that your BF is changed FOR REAL and not just starry-eyed over his new beautiful daughter for the time being, then of course I would say go for it! But I hope that you will really do some soul searching beforehand

Best wishes dear
Noel (26) DH (32) J.T. (7/23/2008) and Abram (11/08/2010)
 
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MartinaWilliams replied to eliguns841984's response:
I know he treated me horribly and I did just revisit those posts but I honestly think in some ways he has changed. Not completely but in some ways. August is a while from now, who knows maybe when school starts I'll totally forget I ever wanted another one, but for the time its open for debate. to be honest those posts made me really think that if i were to get pregnant if he's gonna treat me the same way. I plan on letting him read them so he realizes how much he hurt me back then. and u are right, i should think about the child(ren) im bringing into the world and not just my feelings. I should weigh the pros and cons logically. I still have time and if im still not too sure then ill renew the shot and move on.
Me (20), Bf (48) and DD,lilja born Nov.30.2010 . We Live in Jamaica for now :)
 
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An_204645 replied to MartinaWilliams's response:
Hi Martina, I do not know you at all and have not read any of the posts from your problems with your boyfriend and I totally maybe out of line so I apoligize and you don't have to accept any of the advice... BUT I think you should seek some professional help and the ONLY reason why is (my 1st thought) was, if I didn't see that you had issues with your BF I'd say your feeling could be normal but because you said you have a void and because you were in an abusive relationship (if I understood correctly) is that you could be searching to fill a void, or a love that you don't have, or damage that was caused by your BF. I have heard many times that when you were hurt, physically, emotionally you may go out of your way to make someone love you, and having children is one way...


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