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For parent with a toddler, HELP!!!!
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Katya1985 posted:
I have a 3.6 boy and 6 months girl. My girl is a perfect child but my son ....where to start? He is a very active healthy and smart boy but a lot of times he is mean to other kids. I understand that sometimes it is normal for what ever reason they might have but most of the times he is horrible towards the ones that cannot answer back. For example, he will push a passing by barely walking baby, push girls so they will fall. If he finds a stick he will swing it at some other kid, knowing that he not suppose to do that. Today is the last drop of my patience: he threw a huge stone(almost brick size) at a 8 years old girl and got in her face( our friends) and right after threw sand/mud at his 4 year old friend.Why? Why? Why? I understand that sometimes they do that to attract parents attention with a new baby but we give him a lot and he loves his sister dearly. we also have a punishment system established well and always stick to it. I know that sometimes this behaviors come from families with unstable environment but we have a happy family: my husband is a very carrying loving family oriented father, we love each other and never argue. We love him a lot but we are stricked parents and do not spoil him. I feel terrible, like saying:" screw you" but then he is my son and I want to fix this. I cannot give up at my own child. Maybe I do something wrong?? I read so much literature about children behavior problems but nothing helps. Most of the times he can be a wonderful boy but sometimes not. At the playgrounds if someone is crying I am always nervious if it was him who did that. Some times I hear parents saying: "Stasik hurt him, who else could do that?" That is killing my heart like no other child could do that. He is perfectly healthy and does not have any physical or mental issues. Please help me, maybe something i did not try or something that might trigger that or any advise. We do not believe in spanking even for disciplining but sometimes like today dark thoughts are passing by in my head. Please help.
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lenono97 responded:
Wow, this sounds like a tough situation. How did you handle it when he threw the stone? It really sounds like you are doing all that you can and trying to be a good parent. Have you spoken to his pedi? I think that would be my next step. Make an appointment to talk with him/her and explain what's going on. Perhaps he/she can give you advice or a referral for some type of behavior program. Good luck.
 
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earleyml1012 responded:
I'm not sure if this will help but there is a book called "Bringing up Boys" by Dr Dobson that I hear is really good. I have all girls so for Christmas DH bought me "Bringing up Girls" but I haven't read it yet.

Another thought would be to contact a counselor, maybe they can help you get to the bottom of his behavior. Is he in daycare? I know there is a physically abusive child in DD's class and so I've seen her hit the floor/wall now whenever she gets upset. She has to sit in TO for that b/c we want her to know that is not acceptible. After you punish DS, do you talk to him again about the behavior and why is was bad? This might help to reinforce it instead of him forgetting as soon as his punishment is over.
 
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earleyml1012 replied to lenono97's response:
Oh try posting this on the 3 year old community board, maybe you'll get more help there.
 
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Trishdadish responded:
My heart goes out to you sweety...please know that you are not alone! You need to seek outside help when what you are doing is just not helping. Sometimes having someone professional look at things sheds some light on things. When my son was young he had some behavior issues and I can totally empathize with how you feel. Even other parents can make you feel bad not having to walk in your shoes makes it easier to judge. You need to reach out and get help. Hugs to you and your babies...
 
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orin34 responded:
:lurking:
I have an almost 2 yr old, but I had a run in with a child that had behavior much like your sons when my son had just turned 1.
Story: We were at the park and my son was just learning to walk,this kid pushes my son down the fricken stairs. It didn't end there..... my son more or less "rolled" and when he came to a stop this kid was right there and he had his foot back in a nice little "wind up" to kick my son in the face/neck area. I acted on instinct. The kid was already in "striking" position and in movement and I knew I couldn't reach my son in time since the kid was between us. I just barely grabbed the back of the kids shirt and yanked him away, sorry... I wasn't very gentle about it, I stumbled in my haste... he just missed my son. My boy could have really been hurt.
Believe me, I feel for you. I watched this kid be a bully to other kids and the mother was in a similar situation (she had a new baby). But at the same time ? This kid (and it seems like your son is as well) is a danger to other kids.
If my son so much as throws sand, he loses his chance to play at the park . I pick him up (sometimes kicking and screaming) and leave.... immediately. Now you didn't really say what disciplinary procedures you use, but you need to do something. What if that brick sized rock his someone in the head? that could kill a kid. Please seek help for him.


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