Nourishing Mothers

I can't put this on my blog...Olivia will read it. So I'll write it for you.



Yesterday morning, Olivia started her cycle.


I know you may not think that's a big whoop, but wait until it's YOUR daughter who comes to you and says, "Mommy? I just started."

I actually thought it would've happend last summer. She was already "mature" in more ways than one, and her mood swings and upset tummy convinced me it would be any month now.

But that was last summer.

I was going to take her to get her ears pierced on her special day, a "Welcome to Womanhood" kind of thing. But for her 15th birthday a month ago, I took her for her first earrrings. I felt bad that she was 15 and didn't have her ears pierced yet.

Yesterday, she was full of questions. We'd already talked about this, but now that it was happening to her, she had tons more questions.

Her stomach was sore, she had a headache, her face was a bit pale, her hair unkempt. She laid around in pjs for some of the day, texting her BFFs and discussing their first cycles, too.

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This morning, when the house was still quiet and the sun was just creeping into the sky, I woke up and crawled into bed next to Olivia.

I stroked her hair, her back, and replayed in my mind all of those mental photos I have in my brain from her baby and toddler years. Like the way her blonde pig tails were so long, even at the age of 3. Everyone commented on her beautiful toddler head full of hair.

Or the times we'd make homemade playdough together, or kneel on the sidewalk drawing stick figures of the family with colored chalk. Or blowing bubbles int he back yard and chasing them around.

Or those moments when she was a tiny newborn, fresh home from the hospital, and the scent of baby on her skin and in her hair..and the way she would snuggle in close to my chest.


I cried like a baby. I can't even explain what happens to you when you realize your child is nearly fully grown and the time went by like a flash. I snuck back out of bed and into bed with DH.

He was immediately concerned, like I'd had something tragic just happen...

I said it was nothing, just that Olivia was growing up and away and there wasn't a darned thing I could do about it.

He said, "but you still have a 1 year old."

And I replied, "But Olivia used to be my one-year-old."

And DH just held me in his arms and let me cry it all out.