Nourishing Mothers

My dd is 26 months yesterday.

She goes through spurts of sleeping through (well, 8 hours, anyway) and not sleeping through. I think it all depends on teething molars, or shots, or stuff going on in the home.

Currently, she is back to NOT sleeping through the night. It's frustrating, yes.

We do not CIO, and I'm a bit jealous of those moms who have successfully trained their children with that method.

My dd still drinks a bottle at bedtime, and is waking up at night asking for one...which she just gets water.

Her nap schedule is one afternoon nap, varying from 1-1/2 hours in length to 3 hours, depending.

I guess my only consolation is that I know she will eventually go back to sleeping through the night again...if I remember correctly, my older 2 girls slept through the night for good by the time they were 3.

Anyhow, big hugs to you.

Have you tried any specific sleep training books? I have not had to use more that the modified CIO advice that was in the "What to expect" books, but I know others on these boards have recommended different sleep method training books. I'm sure they give a lot of specific advice for different child issues.

Like you mentioned that you tried CIO, did you actually read the Ferber book? I have heard that people have a lot of misconceptions about how to do it if they have not actually read it. It might be worth getting a copy to see what exactly is says. I think there is also one called "Sleep Solutions". Different doctors have different methods, so I would keep trying different ones until you find one that works.

DD didn't start STTN until she was 20 months old. Like yours, she would wake up once or twice in the middle of the night looking for milk (in my case nursing). One night I finally was exhausted enough to just say no. We co-sleep so instead of allowing her to nurse, I told her I would give her "Mama Hugs" instead. The first night she screamed off and on in my arms for an hour or so. The second night it was closer to 20 minutes. And the third night it was maybe a whine for 30 seconds. So my advice: cut out the middle of the night milk cold turkey. Give her some other form of comforts. Instead of having her CIO, maybe try holding her instead. But don't give in to giving her milk. That was the key for us in getting DD to STTN. Hope you get some sleep soon!

I was thinking of your post again last night.

I know that when my kids have played hard outside, they tend to sleep much better. Follow lots of outdoor play with a warm bath, a bedtime snack, and calming nighttime routine, and they sleep much better, at least in my experience.

Also, I have placed a small fan next to my dd's bed (blowing away from her, of course) and the white noise helps aid her in sleeping better throughout the night.

Last night, she only woke once, and that was to potty.

Have you tried shortening the afternoon nap to only 2 hours instead of 3? It could be that she is getting enough sleep in the afternoon to not be as sleepy at night? I am no expert though, just a thought!

Like MontanaMama, my LO is also 26 months old. And she also goes through stages of sleeping through the night and then NOT sleeping through the night. Right now we're in a stage where she'll usually wake once or twice, nurse for a few minutes and then go back to sleep. (She gave up the pacifier months ago, so nursing is her only form of comfort from sucking.) We co-sleep, so it's not a big deal when she wakes up.

LO started doing 8-10 hour blocks of sleeping around the 20 month mark. I'm not positive it was exactly 20 months, but it was around then. And we had a good streak going for a while. Now that we're in the midst of a non-sleeping-through the-night spell, I'm just waiting it out until it's over.

My DD didn't STTN until she was 10 months old and then it was only because I quit offering to nurse her. I had had enough at that point and was exhausted. She certainly didn't need to nurse then and it was only for comfort so I decided that enough was enough. The first 3 nights were fairly rough, though each one got progressively better. I did do the Ferber method with her but I don't think you would have to.

I would recommend that when she wakes you go rub her back but do not take her out of the crib. If you want to you could offer a sippy of water, or even possibly leave one in the crib with her in case she's thirsty. We do that with DD now and it helps. She just went through a month of waking several times in the night (had strep throat and is working on her molars.)

When I originally did this with my DD, she learned within the first two times of me going in the room that if she wanted me in there with her, she had to being laying down. I would go in and tell her "lay down and Mama will rub your back." So she'd lay down and I'd rub her back for a couple of minutes until she was calm and relaxed but not asleep yet. Then I would go out of the room and give it longer and longer periods of time before going back in to comfort her. If you don't want to CIO, maybe you could just rub her back until she's back asleep.

I really do think that they get in the habit of waking up and then they just naturally do it and have a hard time falling back to sleep on their own. I know my DD has been extra clingy to me the last month or so and I think that separation anxiety has her wanting me there with her more in the night rather than putting herself back to sleep like she's used to.

The other thing that has worked wonderfully for DD is a crib toy that has lights and plays music. She can turn it on herself and often in the night I will hear her turn it on and that helps soothe her back to sleep. I found one at a second hand store for just a couple dollars and I tell you what, it is the best investment I've made for her. Had I know how helpful it was, I'd have bought it a lot sooner.

Good luck Nic. I know how hard and frustrating it is and how much it hurts your heart to hear them sad and upset. But good sleep (for Mama and baby) is SO important. I agree with the others about getting a sleep help book. I've heard good things about one called Healthy Sleep, Happy Child (I think that's the name.) I'm sure you could find them on Amazon.

Just thought of one more thing. Whatever you decide to do, BE CONSISTENT! She will learn that you're not going to give in and will adjust so much faster than if you waiver and sometimes she gets out of bed or gets milk than if it just never happens again. Otherwise it is so confusing for them and it makes it very hard for them to comprehend. I would give whatever method a good two weeks to see if it works. If it doesn't, then move on to something else and give that a two week try. That way you know that it's enough time to see if it's really effective. Now that your DD is a toddler and knows what she wants and how to tell you so, it may take awhile for her to realize that what she wants and what's gonna happen are to very different things.

I totally second everything that jlynnpaine said, and couldn't have said it any better. I know when I started deciding to work with DS on sleeping I had to mentally prep for it myself because I knew he was not going to like it at first and it would be hard for a while. I knew that I was going to have to be a little tough and not give in, but it was good for all of us in the long run. And DS is now a champion sleeper so long as he is not sick or teething.

One big difference for jlp and I from you is that we did it a long time ago when our DC were young enough to not really be as opinionated or stubborn. I think at Savana's age it is going to take a while because she knows what she wants, knows you and knows how to get her way. If you really want it though, be strong and remember that it will be better for your whole family when she sleeps better.

Don't take me the wrong way either, I think it's fine for the parents who want to raise their children with the attachment style, but they have to realize that they have to stick with the sacrifice as long as it takes the child to work it out. If you know now that it's not what you want I would work on sleep training any future children at about 10 months.