I'm so sorry about this, for I know it's very hard taking care not to fracture when you have small children.
Your doctor is right. The osteo meds have not been approved for premenopausal women and especially care needs to be taken when you're still childbearing.
Also, you may or may not know, pregnancy and breast feeding deplete bone mass, so it's extremely important that you get enough calcium into your body. Prenatal vitamins aren't enough. You need to be getting around 1200 mg each day. This can be in the form of pretty much any supplement out there, including Tums. Just be sure to read the label carefully and see what the dosage for 600 mg is. Your body won't absorb more than that at one time. Take your calcium with meals - usually we tell our patients lunch and supper or with a bedtime snack.
Also, if your doctor hasn't checked your Vit D levels, that should be done. If it's in the normal range you need to get 800-1000 IU each day. If you get a calcium supplement with D, that should take care of it.
You really need some immediate instruction in body mechanics to avoid further fracture. Right now, go online to the National Osteoporosis Foundation (
www.nof.org ) and order their $6.50 booklet "Boning Up on Osteoporosis." It gives you lots of information in addition to illustrations of body mechanics for daily living. You could also ask your doctor for a referral to physical therapy for additional instruction.
I'm hoping one of the PT's on this board will chime in with some tips for handling the baby. At the very least, try not to do any forward bending of the spine when picking up toys, laundry, etc. Use the golfer's stance instead. Watch them on TV when they pick up their balls. Also no side to side twisting of the spine. Every time you do one of those moves, it weakens the bones in your spine.
As far as your osteoporosis diagnosis and T-score....because you're premenopausal, you don't get a diagnosis yet. You also look at your Z-scores, not T-scores. That doesn't mean you don't have to worry and take action, it just means you don't have a diagnosis. It may seem petty, but if you're completing any kind of medical or legal document, it's an important distinction.
So...get started on your calcium and D today, if not already and order your booklet. The website also has information on it too that you may find useful.
I hope this info is a start for you and you get some more help soon.