I know exactly what you are talking about. I went through 6 years of extreme pain due to Congenital Spinal Stenosis with Arthritic Components. The doctors were so worried about making me into an addict....it was ridiculous. My part of it was that I tended to put an effort into looking okay nonetheless. I colldnt' let that go because I wasn't sure I could maintain anything at all if I did. (If it makes any sense: it was a way I fooled myself into functioning.) I considered suicide due to the pain at one point.
I finally saw a non-traditional doctor who suggested simple diet changes. It seemed too simple to work, but I was facing major surgery, so it seemed worth a try. Plus, I had had good results with the doctor before.
About a month and a half later, as I was walking down the street, my back "adjusted" itself. I was scared as I had already had some unpleasant surprises from my body, but it turned out the pain was dissipating and, as long as I stick to this diet I do quite well. Have only been to the ER 7-8 times in the last ten years and I could trace it back to diet every time.
I say don't give up. I believe there is an answer and you just have to persist in looking for it.
In case you're curious, the diet I went on was basically a diet for arthritis. I already didn't eat much red meat or diary (due to dairy allergiy), but also cut out the nightshade group of foods: white potatoes (red okay), tomatoes, eggplant and bell pepper. Also citrus, and well, iron set off on of the worst attacks I ever had, so I stay away from spinach, kale etc. as well. I bet there are some good books at the library on an arthritic diet.
Good luck to you.