Pain Management Community

Just today I decided to turn to the internet for answers, help, support.something. During my pregnancies I came online and joined a message board- and loved it. I never thought about doing it for this journey, until now.[br>It will be three years in June since I made my first trip to my doctor for pain. It started in my left shoulder. The doctor put his ear to my shoulder and told me to move it. He said he heard sounds associated with arthritis and gave me a rx for tramadol 50 mg. I remember having pain in this shoulder off and on since I was a teenager. For a little while the tramadol seemed to work and I went on with my life. When my rx ran out- I would try to see if I can go without it, but always I had to give in and return back for another refill. A year later the tramadol was no longer working so I asked my doctor for something else. He included a rx for Lodine. Another year goes by and my pain was no longer just in my arm. Last year I would say the pain was tolerable for the most part- this year it is not. My main frustration is knowing that when I go to my doctor tomorrow, I fear he will not listen. I am a diabetic and for the most part- he will focus on that and nothing else. a few weeks ago I walked into the clinic because my tramadol refill had not been answered when my pharmacy faxed a refill request to his office a week ago. The office was packed and by no means did I feel as if I was more important than the other patients.. but I did want to know why it had not been filled. When the ma saw that it was for pain- she said I would have to be seen. I admit- I was upset. I was seen just a month prior, my doctor had told me that I can just request refills- now I am being told I need to see the doctor. When I was told there was a two hour wait I asked her to just ask him. I knew there was a good chance he would not know me by name- I was right. She said again I had to be seen. As I was signing in- the doctor came out- he recognized me then and asked what the problem was. I told him. His answer to me- as he wrote the prescription was that this was not a life threatening need- that I could have tried to wait for a slower day or for him to get to the refill. I felt disheartened as I walked away- yet happy to have my rx in my hand. It may NOT be life threatening.. but it IS life altering and I thought he had been listening to me all these years. As a former Medical Assistant, I know how hard it is to screen patients who are truly in pain, to those who are just seeking pain medications. I am on non-narcotic pain medications- and most days they are not working, but I do not even try to get something stronger for this reason. My pain is mostly in my hips. But I also feel it in all my joints. My elbows, my fingers. I am in constant pain all the time lately. I quit my job at the end of last year. If I put in a full day of work- all i could do is come home and sleep until it was time to go back to work. I was in so much pain- and so tired. I was miserable. Yelling at my kids..If I have a good day- I will use it to shop, get things done. Usually the next day I have to spend it in bed. I try all the time to walk and move around- having read that people with arthritis (if that is what I have) find success with pain by moving. The last few weeks my pain has increased. I can't sleep, I cant stay in certain positions too long. I went on a anti-depressant several months ago, and it was working- but I am finding myself deppresed again. I have four kids- taking care of the younger two is getting harder. I am having to depend on my teenagers too much. I need to get my doctor to do something- but I don't know what. Anyones advice or critique would be appreciated.