Pain Management Community

First post, just signed up today because I need to vent.

Migraines started over 20 years ago, the body pain, neck, back, shoulder blades, shoulders, joints and now tingling and numbness have been getting progressively worse for over 10. (short, simple description) It limits my activities and relationships and wears you out and you end up angry and depressed.

If you are reading this board, you know what I'm talking about and I probably don't need to go into more detail for this post.

My wife knows everything, my kids know a little, but I had kept it a secret from everyone else, at least the extent of what I was going through. First thinking it's no one's business and secondly I didn't want everyone asking me how I was doing all the time, looking at me like an invalid or always looking at me to see if I was faking pain or with pity.

I had no problem up to this point when people thought I was just lazy, a jerk or even an addict simply because it was easier than explaining the situation to someone who didn't understand and would probably not believe me.

I've seen more than a dozen doctors and I have complained about this pain to all of them, going back 20 years now. I have had to make several emergency room visits. I've seen 3 different neurologists, tried massage therapy, taken barrels of over the counter pain medication and a few years ago drank an ocean of whiskey. I have bought new beds, new pillows, new office chairs, new shoes. . . .you probably know the drill.

No one took it seriously. As long as it was just me people were angry at, I could handle it.

Now a family member decided that it was his duty to get involved, accusing me of being an addict, talking to at least one child about my health and my reduced activity and deciding to tell my in-laws and possibly others (it's still early) about what he considers 'family secrets', my substance abuse and/or addiction.

I have never, not once, been prescribed opiates for this, ever, nor have I purchased or taken any illegally. The strongest thing I've taken, outside of an emergency room visit, is a prescription tylenol and for the last year a little bit of pot. It's the only thing I found, besides unconsciousness, which is hard to achieve at times, that reduces the pain and occasional spasms.

Now many in the extended family think I'm putting my children at risk, my family at risk, the cops will be busting down my door and taking all my assets, on an on.

So I explained, in enough detail as to remain shorter than a novel, what was actually going on.

Like I said before, I had no problem if you thought I was an a$$hole, but when you start screwing around with my entire family like that, wow. I could understand if he cared about my well-being enough to sit down and talk to me and/or my wife, or even try to put together an intervention. We would have been able to answer every one of their concerns that way. Instead this childish, petty, backstabbing, gossip was the route chosen.

In retrospect, there are situations I could have handled with more sensitivity, but I did nothing to deserve this and now my wife's family is in turmoil over this, no communication between siblings, disbelief, lies, secret conversations. This is the last thing I wanted. I've told my wife for years if it ever got to be too much, I would just leave, never to be seen again (dramatic I know, but totally serious). I can fight my own battles, I don't want my wife to have to fight her own family because of my crap.

One possibly good thing that came from this is that I now have an appointment with another doctor. I gave up long ago. Honestly, I'm not expecting much, but I can't stop until I find out what the f is wrong so I can somehow prove what I'm saying.

Thanks for letting me vent.

pi$$ed off and in pain in NJ