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TRIGGERS and long..Any advice welcomed..
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HighnLoLita posted:
My struggle began over a year ago.The problem back then was that in 07 I attempted suicide and over dosed on my psych meds. It is very imortant that I mention that I am totally in love and very close to my grand children. At the time my dd was mad at me and took my oldest grandson to live back in Cali where we are from. After a few months, I started to have a psychotic breakdown. She said she was never coming back and I just lost it. If I would have known what I know now I would not have done what I did. Needless to say she came back after a few months and now I have another grandson.

Ever since I got out of the hospital, I had a limp and pain in my left leg. I believe I was abused in the hospital. I did tell my family, I was beat up by two nurses the day after it happened but, because, I just got out of my coma and was hallucinating from time to time, my family didn't believe me. I just left it at that and after they taught me how to walk and I was stable I was released from the hospital after one month. Just to note, I also had to go to dialysis and I had to take insulin for a while. It was the worst event in my whole life and I have learned my lesson...

A little over a year ago, I started having more pain, muscle spasms, weakness and numbness in my neck, back and left leg. My dr order an mri of my neck and low back. That is when I was diagnosed with Degenerative disk disease. After getting a couple of prescriptions of vicodin my dr said she wanted me to seek out a pain management dr. When the dr's would ask me what happened, I told them that I thought it happened when I was in the hospital for a month. They asked me why I was in the hospital and I had to tell them (I'm not good at lying but, at this point I wish I was).

So then there was this whole thing about my being bipolar and had a "recent" suicide attempt (three years later). No pain management wanted to treat me. It was very frusterating but, understandable. When I did find one finally, I didn't mind paying the $$ even though it broke me, I really like him but, I was seeking a PM center that took both of my insurances. So, I finally found one that takes my insurances but, is not taking any new patients for medication, it seems to me like all they do there is pain shots which don't last long as far as the pain and muscle spasms. Also at our first meeting he stated that he wouldn't even prescribe anyone the meds I was on unless it was a cancer patient.. So now my primary is giving me my prescription once again. I am only on Norco 3x a day and soma at bedtime and I still experience allot of pain.

So now I am on the hunt again to see if I can find a new pain management that accepts my insurance and understands my pain...I have called a pm dr that was refered to me by my psych therapist. She knows her and says she is really good with ppl that have psych problems and pain issues. She is in another county but, if she can help me it will be worth it. I don't want to seem like a drug seeker but, I would like to try something else as far as medication. I know from experience that low dose oxycontin gives me alot of relief but, I don't think a dr would go from Norco to Oxycontin. So even if your not a dr, I would like to know what anyone thinks is acceptable for me to ask my new Dr about, with consideration that I am now on Norco 3x daily, soma at bedtime. And so you know I am also taking lyrica for nerve pain and celebrex for my arthritis/gout.

My mri shows 3 bulging disk in my neck, 2 in my lower back. Arthritis in my neck, hands, knees and feet, bone spurs, narrowing of the spine and dual carpal tunnel syndrom. My life and livelyhood has changed dramaticly. I used to take long walks with my boyfriend and our pug dog skeeter and now it is difficult to walk around the block. I used to take my grandson and his cousins on the bus here and there and now I can't even take myself. I use a walker and a cane to get around because my ballance is off. And I can't even drive anymore....
You always smile but in your eyes your
sorrow shows....William Peter Horn
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