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    Retirement & Depression in Women
    carmicdc posted:
    Is it common for women to be depressed after they retire from working most of their lives? I retired recently, thinking I'd enjoy my life at home, but honestly, there's just not enough for me to do around the house. I pick up my grandkids from school about 3 days a week at 2:30 & babysit until around 7:00 PM (which is exhausting). I go to the gym 5 days a week for about 1-1/2 hrs a day as well, but still I am depressed, missing the stress from working and trying to find enough hours in the day to do everything. Ironically, that is why I retired! Do any other women go through this - I mean, is this a transition period of sorts?
    davedsel57 responded:

    I think it is fairly common for both men and women to experience this when they retire.

    You may want to also post on the WebMD Depression Community here:

    Since you have posted in the WebMD Pain Management Community, do you also deal with chronic pain?
    Click on my user name or avatar picture to read my story.


    carmicdc replied to davedsel57's response:
    Dave, no I do not have chronic pain - other than being depressed about one thing or another most of my life. I am new to this site and I did not realize the subject matter. Sometimes mental anguish is far greater than physical pain. It is something I cannot put my finger on & the treatment is so broad - from behavior therapy, thought control &/or medication that takes my whole personality out of the picture (which I refuse to do). I fight depression with all that is in me sometimes.
    annette030 responded:
    Travel if you can afford it. My husband's best friend loves to travel. Me, I do volunteer work. Even though I am disabled, I can still find things that I can do.

    I think some depression is normal when you retire. My retirement was forced, due to disability, and I went through a terrible depression. I used cognitive behavioural therapy and found it was great. I think everyone should learn how to do it.

    Just remember that any transition is a temporary thing, depression should pass after a time. If it does not, talk to your doctor or find a good therapist to help you finish the transition.

    Take care, Annette
    carmicdc replied to annette030's response:
    Thanks Annette for the tips. I actually have an appt.with a therapist in a couple of weeks (earliest I could get for this highly recommended in my area). I never could bring myself to do volunteer work - maybe because I worked my way through my hardships (too many to list here) & think that others should do the same. CBT is interesting to me, and I believe that I may have applied some of the techniques in my thinking. I am basically a pessimist and have been most of my life - but I think it's because I am a realist. I have a very hard time seeing things as some of my friends do - kind of fairty-tailish. Over the years, I have learned to change some of the many negative thoughts into positive ones & go through my day consciously aware of what I am thinking and try to change those thoughts. I am tired though - it seems very hard for me to continually, consciously do this at all times. Is that what you do all day? Am I missing something?
    annette030 replied to carmicdc's response:
    CBT generally means changing your response to whatever is coming at you into a positive instead of a negative. It is hard at first, but becomes easy to do as you get used to it.

    There is a difference between being a pessimist and being a realist, find a balance.

    I saw someone on TV the other day being interviewed and she said she believed that if she made it through a door and on to the next step in life, it was her responsibility to lend a hand to the person behind her when possible. I feel the same way. Why should the next person have to go through the bad things you did, if you can help them?

    Besides, you don't have to do volunteer work for people if you don't want to. How about helping out at the local animal shelter? Or wildlife rescue? I walk dogs once a week at the animal shelter, my dad was the guy that local folks dropped off birds of various kinds to help/rescue.

    Take care, Annette

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