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Sad and Scared (Part Two)
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gcola1 posted:

As I wrote before, I was prescribed 3 Oxycontins a day. I agrred to and signed a Controlled Substance Agreement with the Pain Management Clinic when I started going there. For those of you who don't know, it's basically an agreement between the clinic and you, that you will follow to the letter, all of the instructions that are given you by your Doctor. I had no problems with this, none at all. Ah, but here is the rub...I was doing so well with the meds, that I found that I only needed to take 2 of the 3 prescribed Oxycontins a day. That was when my wife, who one day, was suffering from a Migraine asked if she could try one of my "extra" Oxys. Shrugging my shoulders and thinking it not a big deal, and wanting to be of aid to my wife, I said "Sure, but they are really strong and I might get in trouble." Well, she took and discovered the medicinal (and euphoric) effects of the drug. And then she continued to take, and take, and take. Well, no big deal, I guess, I was still able to show up at the clinic and show that I was on track with my meds. Until she started started to feel some Carpal Tunnel in her hand. I know she does, and I know that it can be almost as disabling as my back condition. She likes to rubber stamp greeting cards as a hobby, and was complaining that she couldn't anymore because of the pain. I guess you all know what it coming next...Yup, "Can I try one of your Norco's" Wanting her to be happy and continue her hobby, I relented. She took one maybe once every couple of weeks, and then spiraled into once every two days. Needless to say, I was starting to show up short on my med count at my Pain Clinic visits. It wasn't a big deal the first time, my doc suggested I get a pill minder to keep me on track. I didn't think I needed to. So, by this time, my wife is getting addicted to my meds, I'm starting to go through withdrawal symptoms when I end up short. (which is UTTER HELL and would not wish it on my worst enemy.) My doc is getting more and more stern when I come up short and I couldn't blame her. I finally pleaded with my wife to go to her doctor and get her pain checked out. After whining that "they wont do anything for me" for awhile, she finally went, and her doc prescribed her 30 Norcos a month. Ahhhhh, there will be peace in the valley again....so I thought. I kept to my med schedule and everything was good again, until my wife started taking 2 or 3 of her meds instead of the 1 a day which was prescribed. By the tenth day through her prescription, she was (yep you guessed it) raiding mine. Eventually her doc upped her prescription to 60 Norcos a day which of course meant that she could take 4 or 5 day of her own before she raided mine again.
Alright, anyone would have to be pretty darn thick to not see where this is going. At my last appointment, two months ago, I cancelled my normal appointment, and purposely made another one for a later date that would show that I wasn't necessarily short on my meds, just that I ran out on the normal date, but my God, did I go through withdrawal! Here I am, facing the same thing, only I have to show up with no meds because my doc is off the rest of the week. Question...Do I tell my doc the truth, or I am thinking of saying I forgot to bring them, which I've done before and gotten into trouble for. I wabt to tell the truth, Lord, I do, I hate to lie, but what will my doc say when she knows that my wife has a problem with her meds, and I'm too nice to say no to her! By the way, it doesn't help that every time I go through the withdrawal, she tells me that I can't handle my meds! : P
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tuloud54 responded:
Whoa! I thought I had problems but my prayers are on you and your wife. Sounds like your wife is an addict or slowly/quickly becoming one. Honesty is the best policy but right now, you need to get help for your wife. After mine and others experience on this board with pain mgmt., I would hope your name is kept out of this. You diverted meds/knowingly or not/and this is a huge RED flag to all involved. Please get your wife some help but do not destroy your chance at some relief in life. Withdrawals won't kill you but the pain certainly can have you wishing to die. Hide youe meds,take 1 or 2 a day,get back on track aand cover your a$$. Please take care of yourself first. Just my first thoughts. Good luck
 
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Anon_1421 responded:
You can get a small safe at Walmart that locks and has a key and or combination to open it-I have one myself-I suggest you get one and lock your meds up! I am sorry for your situation, but if you continue on like this you and your wife are going to get in trouble, and you may lose your chance for pain relief-perhaps you could get your wife in to see some kind of addiction specialist-she has a serious problem, and it is only going to get worse without intervention. There are pain meds that are less easy to abuse for those that have pain but also problems with addiction. It is awful that she uses up YOUR meds and then criticizes you for going through withdrawal! But that could be the addiction talking. You should NOT be having to go through withdrawal and pain because your wife is helping herself to your meds! You are going to have to be strong and tell your wife no more of your meds-expect her to flip out-and sorry to say, unless your wife is willing to get help, I don't see a happy ending here. If your doctor dismisses you and "blacklists" you, you are going to have hell finding another one! But you have got to stop letting your wife have your meds-if she keeps on like this she is very likely to overdose! If you have any family members (or close friends) that can help support you in convincing your wife to get help for this, I would get them involved! Lock up your meds, tell your wife she has to get help, and buckle your seatbelt-because it's going to be a long bumpy ride and you have my sympathy for the situation you are in!
 
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ctbeth responded:
Hi gcola1,

I was awake late last night (as always) and read your Part One.
I had hoped that Part 2 would be posted today.

This was not what I was expecting, and my heart goes out to your an your wife both.

Of course, I have to agree with the other respondents to your post.

Addiction is a disease. Your wife is unwell and needs help. No one wants to be an addict, and no decent husband wants to see his wife suffer.

There are resources to help her.

My thought is that she talk to her MD about her problem.
If she refuses to do so, probably by minimizing that she has a problem at all, you may have to intervene on her behalf, which is a very difficult thing fro anyone to do.

Honestly, if you lock up your meds, most addicts will find a way to beg, cry, trick, manipulate, etc. you into giving her some, or she'll steal some.

This is NOT that your wife wants you to suffer; addiction is a disease- a serious disease that could kill her.

I am so glad that you came here for help. I hope that we can be of assistance.

Please get her help before it's too late for both of you.
Addiction steals lives, crushes dreams, destroys families, and causes destruction to each that it touches.

My partner's son, a beautiful, sweet, smart, and loving young man, died in Sept 2012 of an Opana overdose.

I do not know if I have ever posted this on this site, and I have been posting here for a few years. I cannot tell of the pain that this has caused everyone who cared for him. There is no end to the pain of this loss. His name was Jordan.

You are a good husband for asking for help- for you and for her.

Please stay in contact with us.

Best to you and your wife.

I hate to say this, but I agree with those who say that you also have to cover your a$$ on this one.

The longer your wife goes without help, the more difficult it will become to do this.

My thoughts and prayers are with you,

CTB
 
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77grace responded:
Wow!!I reallyt feel for you!!!
I agree with both of these posts!Your wife needs help now !!I am also a recoverying pain pilladddict who now after 15 yrs,clean and God I can take meds ,But this is for her adn you!!!She needs help nowe ,its early so that is good!Lock up your meds..keep it seperate!I have to go but will bew back!!
stay in touch 77grace
 
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77grace replied to Anon_1421's response:
Hi Anon1421,
Thanks for your input!!Right on too!!
I know what they are bo0th going through because I am a re overing pill addict due to pain!I have over 10 yrs.And like him I am very severe chronic pain due dto tumors that grow on my spine!!Long story !They grow out of the nerves!But,anyway this is about them1I liked what you had to say,they will both ned alot of support and prayers,if your a believer!
Sounds like you've been around awhile!
Take care,77grace
 
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77grace responded:
Hi gcola1,
I have already writtedn you A FEWQ,i HOPE THEY HAVE HELPLED!!IKNOW FORM OUR OWN LIFE,MY hUSBAnd og almosat 30 yrs clkeZan and me 10 yrs clead this time))Writting ton you thus time I just want you to see the imoportance to your wifws addictions,,,she got into it really fast !!Thats what we do!!!Please let us help how ever we can!I hopwyou can get you meds straytened out too, Hang in there
let me know,Blessingfs 77grace
 
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Onehurtguy replied to 77grace's response:
Wow, both of you are extremely lucky your wife didn't overdose on that first 40mg OxyContin you gave her. I don't want to scare you, if you think about it, that's a person with zero tolerance to opiates taking 8 5mg's of Vicodin etc. count your blessings, as if she had died, you'd be sitting in prison for 2nd degree manslaughter, or worse. Thank God that isn't the case!

The issue you're about to deal with is far better than dealing with killing your own spouse, but its going to be tough for all the reasons mentioned above.

As far as your MD goes, if you tell him/straight, you could end up in jail, or worse, being black-balled from receiving your much needed pain medication maybe forever... I'm not telling you to lie, I've always been on the up and up with my PM, but I've never been in a predicament even remotely similar to yours.

The bottom line here, you're going to have to get your wife straightened out. It sounds like she's got some addiction issues, but only you and she would know. Regardless, you guys need to keep to your own medications, no questions or sharing involved, period! Do whatever it is you need to do, get her help, get her MD to up her scripts (probably not a good idea), but at least she's not taking yours, then ridiculing you when you run short and withdraw. I've been through them, and that's the last thing I'd want!

I wish you luck my friend, talk to your wife, support her, and ask that she reciprocate. You guys need each other now more than ever.

R
 
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annette030 responded:
My personal opinion is that you need to cut your wife off, move or lock up your meds, and just keep repeating the mantra of "Call your doctor if you need more meds." That is much easier said than done though. I would not mention it to your doctor though, unless you are ready to be cut off, it sounds like your pain is too great for that.

Locking up your meds is a good idea anyhow, it keeps kids out of them, or adult addicts.

Does she wear splints for the Carpal Tunnel, my husband did. Has she even been officially diagnosed with CPS? Maybe it is something else, she should see a hand/wrist doctor for this.

I do not know her at all, but I had to evaluate and change my hobbies after I was diagnosed with chronic pain problems. I cannot quilt anymore because doing work with my head bent over makes my hands go numb. I have had neck surgery, among other things. I gave up riding horses after my neck surgery because a fall could be very dangerous for me.

This is yet another reason for her to see her doctor, so he can evaluate and follow her pain conditions and her possible addiction problems.

Take care, Annette


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