Hi Everyone! I can't find the original posts so I'll just give the update here.
They have a bed for her waiting, finally! She has to get a tb skin test and some other tests out of the way but they told her the other day the facility would hold her bed.
She should be there by at least July 5. I did let her come back home, which I wasn't too happy about but they took her to the hospital to have blood work done instead of doing a pee test. She was clean!! So now we're waiting for all the paper work to get done and she has to have these tests done. She'll be there for at least six months.
I want to thank you all for your words of encouragement, your advice which I did follow by kicking her out the last time she took my meds. I made a police report and reported it to my doctor. I did tell him today she was back home. But I had the report from the hospital that they gave me to show him she was clean. I promised him that I had a combination box at home to put my meds in now. I was without them for about three weeks (which was agony but I got through it) so before I let her come home, I went and bought the box. Only I know the combination as it was simple and I threw the papers away.
Hopefully this will help her. I wanted to share the good news and thank you all again for support and advice. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!!
I am so happy for you-you had to make so many hard, painful choices, and there are no manuals for this situation! You did the right thing-you really did. I admire your courage so much. No one tells you when you become a parent that it might turn out like this. You do the best you can, and that's all you can do. And you've done the right things. I hope so much that this works and that your daughter comes back to you whole and healthy again. Please, please keep us updated, and take care.
But, I had to add-while she is in your house, be very, very careful-don't want to see you hurt again. Take care.
Thanks for your Reply!
Just a quick story..My little brother was in the same boat as your daughter. He was 22 and just kept with the wrong crowd.
Finally on his 3rd screw up he had a choice, jail or a 9 month boot camp. I can say the boot camp helped him tremendously...
That was about 19yrs ago...He has been clean since not even alcohol. He is now 41yrs old, got married about 1.5yrs and his first child was born 8 months ago. He works a full time job and is happy with his family.
It can be done. But my brother always told us that it was his siblings that helped him. We did not become his enablers. Now he did abide by his probation and paid all his fines. He was on probation I think 10yrs. But not any longer. We did help him once he was done with boot camp..
I guess I am just saying it can be done....But she has to want to change. I wish you and your daughter the best ....
Oh I am being extremely careful. I got a combination box and memorized the numbers and threw the papers away. It's an easy number to remember, so there's no chance of me forgetting it.
She's doing well. Waiting on the paper work to get here in the mail so it can be filled out and returned, and then approved. They've already told her it would be approved, but paperwork has to be done anyway. They are holding her bed, which is a great relief.
She's not cutting herself or anything. She's been a bit impatient because we thought the paperwork would already be here. Even when she wasn't here, she had been told they would wait for her.
You all have been so great in advice and support. I sincerely thank you every one!
I'm so happy to read this. It gives me more hope that this will help her recover and stay that way.
As a parent, it's very hard to admit to yourself that you ARE enabling your child by not helping her in the right way, even if it meant jail. I was so nervous when I called to report her. Of course, I was furious with her for taking my medication but I was also a nervous wreck because I was reporting my daughter and she could possibly go to jail.
I worried about her when she left, but I didn't know what else to do but make her leave. I worried she would go back to those friends and start doing drugs all over again. I worried she would be caught out high on whatever she could get and end up in jail.
But she's clean. The judge ordered a drug test, a blood test, as it's more accurate then a urine test. She was clean and I let her come home, AFTER I bought the combination box. It was very expensive (to me anyway) but worth the investment to keep my medications safe, and her out of them. I keep the box under my bed and have attached a couple of little bells I tore off a Christmas bow.
Anyway, I'm very happy for your brother, and congratulations on him becoming a father!
Well, I thought she would be in rehab by now. We were waiting to get the paper work that never showed so she called them yesterday.
They told her since she stopped taking drugs on her own, she was not a candidate for the program. She started crying and told them the only reason she stopped was because she was on house arrest and couldn't go anywhere. She told them that she had stolen my pain meds in May and she and her friends had taken them all. That I had kicked her out of the house because of it. And it wasn't the first time she had stolen my meds.
They just told her that her blood work came back clean, and they were sorry, but she didn't meet the criteria for the program. The facility will no longer hold her bed.
I swear I am so mad for her! I want to find every person on UNITE's team (Unlawful Narcotics Investigations, Treatment and Education) and yell at everyone of them and tell them how disappointed I am that they won't help her! I'm disgusted by the whole process! She is still struggling, so hard, not to take anything. When her "friends" call, she doesn't even want to talk to them because she knows what they want.
I plan to write to my representative and see what he can do about it, if anything, and have her write a letter as well. I keep wanting to stand in front of her again, because I know this is something she needs, desperately. I can't keep trying to shield her but I don't see the harm in writing a letter on her behalf as long as she writes one too.
Oh my God this is so awful! What the hell is wrong with those people! There has to be some place somewhere that would help her-could you maybe contact NA (narcotics anonymous) and see if they can help? Here are some links I found, maybe they can help- turntohelp.com treatmentline.com 4rehabilitation.com americanaddictioncenters.com
I don't know anything about any of them but it wouldn't hurt to contact them and see what they say. Contacting your representatives might help, I would also see if there is a way to file a complaint against those useless people that refused to take her! Don't give up-and no you are not wrong to try and help her this way-this is trying to get her help that she needs. I am so so sad for you that you are going through this it just makes me so mad they would act this way! There is also a community on here dedicated to substance abuse-I bet if you posted there you could find some help and advice- http://exchanges.webmd.com/substance-abuse-exchange . I wish I could think of more to help but this is all I can come up with. Take care dear, my heart goes out to you, and please check back in and let us know how things are going. If I can think of anything else I will definitely post it-
Thanks for that information. I will definitely be contacting them. Her parole officer told her yesterday that they couldn't send her to one of their program houses because she's been institutionalized for mental problems! He said they weren't equipped to handle any mental problems!! Can you BELIEVE that BS??!! Seriously!!
She has an appointment with Comp care Friday. Around here, they do not do any good whatsoever. It's really pathetic and frustrating!!
Oh sweetie, you (and your family) have been in my prayers all along-and I am so sorry for what you are going through! If she was treated for mental illness perhaps that might be one reason she is abusing the drugs-sometimes people use drugs and/or alcohol to self-medicate, and good mental health facilities are aware of this-perhaps you should look that direction for help for her. There are other communities on here for mental illness too, perhaps they would be a good resource for you-
The last site has a Get Help tab on the page at the top. You are probably so stressed and tired from dealing with all this and all that has gone on.....but if you can get your daughter on the right path with the right professionals and treatment maybe you can get your girl back. Maybe not-we parents can only do so much-the rest depends on her. I hope this helps, I wish I could think of something more. Please let us know how you are doing, if I think of anything else I will post it. Take care.
Keep looking for other programs, do not assume she will be ineligible for all of them. Did you ask them what other programs she might be eligible for? Call them.
Many, many years ago, 40 or so, I worked at a methadone program for heroin addiction and the federal rules at that time stated you must have a dirty urine test currently to get in. It was still considered an experimental drug at that time. It was very difficult to turn away people who were obviously trying hard to stay off of drugs.
She should be going to NA meetings, is she? Good for her staying clean and avoiding drugged up "friends". Give her my best.
I can understand it, but since many folks take opioids or other drugs to self-treat mental illnesses, it does make it harder to get treatment. She needs treatment for both. Does she have insurance or medicaid? Walk her through the process if you can, and help her get treatment from a psychiatrist if she can where you live.
Keep trying, you are doing great, crossing things off your list at this point, but proving to your daughter that you love her.
This is so sad. Before my disability I worked for a dual-diagnosis treatment center in Boca Raton,Fl. There are many of these all across the country. We actually had scholarships available at no cost to the client. I have seen hundreds of people with mental illness and drug/alcohol challenges thrive after addressing the root causes of any addiction. Please know you are not the first parent fighting to save your childs life. Try and get a psychiatrist involved as a good starting point.Your daughter is ill and did not want this for you.She needs help and I pray she gets it. We need to take better care of our own before sending money all over the world.Sorry,couldn't help getting political. Prayers are with you and yours. Tom
Thanks for those links. I had previously posted on a substance abuse page but got no response for days, that's why I had copied and pasted to this site, and you all had lots of advice and were extremely helpful on here. I did finally get some responses over there on the other site, and I will definitely be looking at the other sites as well.
Thanks for your prayers and the links. Both are greatly appreciated!!
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