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    Getting to the end of my rope.
    An_254324 posted:
    Hello everyone
    I am a new member here and I would appreciate your insight and suggestions regarding my situation. I injured myself 10 years ago (for the 5th time) and this particular injury was a life-changing event. I fell down some oak stairs while carrying a heavy server and pulverized part of my vertebrae, They also found compression fractures, degenerative disk disease, stenosis, sciatica and nerve damage. I am now on total disability. About 8 years ago a doctor put me on Oxycontin and my life went to hell. I will spare you the gory details of my spiral into addiction but I managed to get off of the opiates, with the help of my Psychiatrist, Three years ago I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma and last year I was diagnosed with emphysema. I have been under Psychiatric care for 6 years due to depression and suicide attempts. I see a pain specialist and currently take Butrans patches, neurontin, cymbalta, and otc meds to try to control the pain. I puyt a brave face on to my wife and children but I am in agony every day, don't sleep, have lost interest in everything I used to love, lost my libido, my memory, and my quality of life. Several doctors have told me that I have to be realistic and go back on opiates. I have an addictive personality and that would probably lead to my demise. I have tried every remedy listed on this board and then some without success. I know there must be someone out there that has an answer or solution. I only hope that they happen to read this post. Thank you and I apologize for whining. There are many in this world worse off than me that are coping. Thank You
    ctbeth responded:
    Hello friend,

    I do have a few thoughts and ideas for you.

    First, your pain management MD needs to know all of the things that you just told us above. You could perhaps print out what you wrote and read it to him or her.

    The medicine in the BuTrans patch, buphrenophrine is, indeed, an opiate. The transdermal (patch) delivery is considered by many to be a safer route than by mouth, as usage can be more carefully monitored.

    Your MD may speak with you about a Duragesic (fentanyl) patch. This medicine is used to treat severe pain. Again, you'll need to be carefully monitored as it is an opiate, but you're safely (I assume) using an opiate patch now.

    Whilst we all tend to downplay our pain to some people for a variety of reasons, your wife needs to know how bad you're feeling. Please consider allowing her to know what's going on with you. Chances are that she already knows and wants to help.

    I hope that you'll check back here as you'll probably get many helpful replies.

    Best wishes,

    livelifebetter responded:
    Dear Sister,

    I feel for you. Pain can be debilitating and in fact, even that word fails to describe the tournament. My only prayer is that despite all that you have been through & all that you have tried, that you have not given up on finding a solution. Everyday, people are working to find and create new solutions and there is a brand new technology for Pain Management that is SIMPLE, AFFORDABLE & NATURAL. Better than that there are benefits outside of pain relief. here is a video with a few testimonies about POWER STRIPS.... This company is not the first to do a pain patch so to speak.... but it is said.. If you cant be first.. be better. Its worth a try. Here is a video with some testimonies: and here is is where you may purchase the Power Strips and get more information on the product: . Do let me know if this works for you. It has been working for many people I know personally and many that I have never met.

    Wishing you all the very best.
    An_254324 replied to ctbeth's response:
    Thank you for your reply and the information. I can't use Fentanyl. I was using it before and I misused it. I don't trust myself to try it again. The desire to get out of pain is too great for me. I don't know if I would misuse it but I cannot take the chance. I have changed, that is true, but the history of inappropriate behavior is there. I am between a rock and a hard place indeed.
    rhyenn responded:
    This story has left me in tears and I'm not one to cry easily but this is my opinion for all that it is worth:( You have been down many dark paths but with all you have going on I would hope your pain doctors and other specialists would agree if you made it through all I have just read I would hope that you even having a past of abusing stronger long lasting narcotic that you could move forward with your life looking at the use of these stronger long lasting narcotics without suffering could you change your what I believe your outlook to being DEPENDENT ON THESE SAME DRUGS closely supervised at first, but it takes one hell of a strong person to have come through all you have and live a life without all the mental and physical suffering just because it went south once and YOU came through I see no reason to want to live one more moment of not believing in yourself and move forward to a life without all of the pain associated with your past! I guess what I'm trying to say is if you are strong enough to get off OxyContin and all narcotics, you should be able to say that is who I was NOT who I am especially the fact that being a hero to the point of wanting out this world that has plagued you with pain and suffering , If it were me I'd believe in myself to dig deep and not suffer anymore not to many people can do what you did and your honesty is heartwarming I'll be pulling for you as I have had many a night that I asked God to make it stop or just take me! I'm still in chronic pain back surgeries hip surgeries and I am still surprised how hard I'm fighting to not have the label of an abusive personality just a woman who has been where your at and is now determined to have the relief so I don't miss out on the next 10 years of my life!!! I'm not the same person who felt that I was addicted and did exactly what you did know I want to have option of long acting opiates and enjoy what's left of my kids who are almost ready to fly and never look back I FOR,ONE BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!! May this be your Swan Song as well Good Luck and you really are stronger that you might know!!!!!
    Peter Abaci, MD responded:
    Thank you for opening up here and sharing your personal story. It sounds like you have been through quite a lot. I appreciate your concern about falling back into addiction. One of the things that I have learned from my patients over the years is that being in pain can be a very lonely and isolating experience. My patients often tell me that they felt like they were the only one going through what they were experiencing until they finally met other patients who were facing some similar challenges.

    I think it can be very helpful to be connected with a group who understands what you are dealing with and can support you as you work through these medical problems. It might be helpful to look into what support groups and educational groups are in your community that you can connect with. While this may not be the solution for everything you are dealing with, the right group can boost your spirits, provide social support, and help educate you about ways that you can learn to better manage things. Perhaps one of your doctors or local medical center can guide to the right resources?
    Anon_27116 responded:
    Hello Getting to the end of your rope:
    I am so sorry that you feel like you need to put on a brave face
    and not get the type of pain relief that you desperately seem to
    need. It is not a shame that you need some pain relief. You
    really need to talk to your dr. and make it very clear as to what
    you are going through.

    I sure hope that you will consider taking some type of pain meds that could be very helpful for all of your pain. I truly understand what you are going through too. I have had issues with either taking too much medication in the past or running out too soon. I think that if we are undermedicated that all of this can happen too. Give yourself a break and talk to your
    family and I think that you will find that they will be understanding especially since they know that you have had these injuries in the past.

    Please talk openly to your pain dr. too. That is very important.
    I wish you well and hope that they can help you.
    Take care;
    rhyenn replied to Anon_27116's response:
    I'm pretty new as well but as I got no response and none needed I was just taken back and in tears no Bawling!!!! I spent form my late twenty's thru most of my 30's and into my early 40's then Bam I was just hitting my stride had an amazing PM Dr. Who was treating me for what he explained to me for the first time the difference between Addiction and Dependance? It took me a while to be OK with understanding as I was certain that I would be an addict and it would ruin my life my family and too many friends with good intentions (they stopped being a friend when I wasn't able to keep up HUM) I had a shattered disc 2 back surgeries and had suffered with more pain by Pain Management Doctors who insisted I do every injection an block except root burning Surgeon said run before you let any Dr do that. I just turned 45 on the 22nd and had been unable to find a PM Dr who just wanted to help me with meds and not be subjected to their touchers injections so I found a Clinic that said they treated Pain Management as well as help to get off opiates with the use of Suboxon I went their for a year just to get Norco 10/325 and I continued to go as I hadn't found another alternative Dr I'd seen so many and I get it to get the medication you must try their new injections! DONE went cold turkey 6 weeks ago better that what was called rapid detox with a Dr who was in the same group as my First PM dr who was criminal my feelings just to be clear - the PM doctor even told my husband no worries if you have trouble getting off the meds I have a Dr here who can have you off all opiates and no suffering excuse my now WTF What a mess that made of me as a young mother who was naive and believed these Doctors cared and didn't want to make money by doing injections just help me recover from my second back surgery the Chairte disc in 2004 lets just say I was part of the rural just before it was FDA approved so I called my world famous surgeon's nurse as I was not feeling well and he had me plenty medicated - he dropped me for asking my Surgeons nurse for her opinion and he flat dropped me so made the appt with his Dr. And went through the rapid detox and Oh we had to take out a second on our home as it wasn't covered by insurance and it about killed me I was 5'10 and 117 dripping wet and I was lucky it did kill and more than I could believe until he disappeared heard he's somewhere down in Mexico! I hope I'm not typical and I went to a new PM Dr. Who I hadn't made a decision until he called 4 days after my appt with him and informed me he did not take my PPO after all so I'd have to bring $200 for the last visit and wait for it then he'd only charge my insurance $50 God Help Me unreal he said to be sure to bring $400 in cash for my next appt which was not a typical month appt he likes to see his patients every 2 week I'm too tired and don't have words for my visit with my Neurosurgeon who had just seen me a few months before and asked how my back was? Hangin in I replied and on the 21st not only did he not remember me he asked me and my husband how long ago did we do this Sorry I really loved this Dr I lived hours away and went to every single appt I agreed to as I was in the trial study?????????????? Maybe he couldn't find my chart or file or what was entered on the same computer that was a foot away from us, REALLY so we told him and explained why I was there Bonus he looked at the MRI they asked I do before I came and it about killed me I almost didn't make it thru the MRI:( and said can't see what's going on with this ( both of us didn't miss that he didn't read the report ) so I was off to get quick X rays and he found the problem my Charite Disc was meant to be mobile but mine was sliding a half inch so that's the reason for the insane pain and numb foot I was HURTING it was just slipping back and hitting my spinal column! We had our answer I don't have words - Get CT and he'd fuse 3,4,and 5! I wish I had said you first! HELP!
    77grace replied to An_254324's response:
    Hi 254324 ,
    I can rerlate to what you are going thrugh ,it's a very difficult thing to deal with !I Think there are also more of use on this site who are in recovery from addiction or booze !
    For me it was pils !I have chronic pain !I went into a treatmendt program and stayed sober about 15 years `THANKFUL7Y MY PAIN WAS'NT AS BAD THEN1bUT NOW IT'S REALLY BAD AND I have to take pain meds !I use my higher power to help me ,there aare ways !If yoy need to talk about this let me know and I can give you my email .!
    Hang in there! 77grace

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    Peter Abaci, MD , is certified in anesthesia and pain management by the American Board of Anesthesiology. Dr. Abaci received his undergraduate educat...More

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