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    Does Wife need Help?
    An_254932 posted:
    Hello all, I'm looking for some outside opinions on whether or not my wife needs some sort of help--and any insights about what kind.

    She has lymphocytic colitis and chronic facial pain/migraines. A few years ago, we went to a pain management specialist to try some things so she didn't have to take so much excedrin (which is a suspected cause of lymphocytic colitis). She went from fioricet for headaches in the beginning to clonzapam, fentanyl, oxycodone, fioricet, flexerall, and gabapentin now. Now she has pain everywhere. Also, she has stopped going to any other doctor except her pain management doctor.

    She also has a an extra fioricet perscription through one of those online pharmacies.

    She is angry and depressed all the time. She barely leaves the house. Sometimes she stays up for 40 to 60 hours--cleaning because "this place is a mess". If you say the wrong thing or the wrong way, she snaps.

    I mentioned to her the other night, "I think you need help". She yelled at me that I don't know what it's like to be in her shoes.

    Actually, after writing all this, I think I answered my own question. Any thoughts would still be helpful.
    annette030 responded:
    Since opioid are not used for migraines, please explain to me why she has been on all the opiates and muscle relaxant. You might answer you own question.

    I would suggest she see a therapist with experience with both chronic illnesses and addictions. You also need some therapy, nothing happens in a vacuum.

    Take care, Annette
    blackrabbit22 replied to annette030's response:
    Thank you Annette. I am seeking therapy and support. I know I've contributed to the situation in ways I still don't understand, and have become twisted up myself.
    Peter Abaci, MD responded:
    I often bring up to patients that I treat a recommendation for counseling help and support to help them better manage their situation. Sometimes they are grateful that I offer this type of service and want to get started right away, and other times I get some push back stating that they aren't interested.

    One of the biggest reasons that some patients may not want to talk to someone at first is they may feel that the recommendation suggests that we think the problem is somehow "not real" and rather 'all in their head" which I think is a big misunderstanding. Chronic pain problems are very real, and can also be very taxing emotionally on the person in pain as well as the family involved. Learning tools to better cope with this is very valuable, and getting help with communication at home is also very important to a relationship. It may help to let her know that you appreciate how severe her pain is and the medical problems that she is struggling with, and that you want to make sure that she gets all of the help that she needs to feel better.

    Certainly, the medications that she is currently taking could be making things worse, and she would benefit from talking to somebody that could objectively explain that to her. The first step is helping her get to a place where she is open to getting help and opening up.
    ctbeth replied to Peter Abaci, MD's response:
    And I'd also suspect that there is fear that, if we have trouble managing our meds, that admission of this will result in our doctors discontinuing all of our pain meds.

    Sadly, if I was having this sort of problem, this would be the reason that I wouldn't tell my doctor(s)
    77grace responded:
    Hi and Welcome ,
    I have been there ,along with your wife !I suffered with chronic headaches for years and took foricet and valium !Many years ago !Anyway it did not take long and I was taking more than prescribed !I became addicted and it was a horrible and very long time !It ruined my marriage and all sorts of thing s!The whole time I wa in denial !
    Foricet can be dangerous !She should not stop cold turkey !It can cause sezuires !(SP)
    Get medical help !!!
    Bless you ,77grace Let me know if I can help !

    Featuring Experts

    Peter Abaci, MD , is certified in anesthesia and pain management by the American Board of Anesthesiology. Dr. Abaci received his undergraduate educat...More

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