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RE: What to do with a Friend that Complains about Pain and Depression
meaningfulc1952 posted:
Hi Everyone,
I have a friend that I mostly e-mail with and she has described to me
many times that she is very depressed. I have suggested that she see
her family dr. and try taking an anti-depressant. She says that she had
a terrible experience in the past taking an anti-depressant and she will
not take it.

Then on top of that she has pain from many different things. She will not take anything for that either. I hear her complaints all of the time when she e-mails me and I can't offer her anything because she does not want to take any medications at all.

What would you do with a friend like that and how would you handle
the problem? I am real tired of hearing her complaints constantly but
yet she will not take the meds that just might help her.

Do you have any suggestions as to how I can handle this problem?

annette030 responded:
Tell her not to complain to you anymore. You will probably need to tell her this more than once. You can be nice about this, just say that you have run out of potential solutions for her.

Take care, Annette
meaningfulc1952 replied to annette030's response:
Hi annette030,

Thanks for your input. I think that is the only way to handle the
problem. I have had it to my eyeballs with hearing all of the
complaining but yet she will not take any meds or see a dr. to get meds to help her.

annette030 replied to meaningfulc1952's response:
Best of luck to you and your friend. I have had to have a similar talk with a friend of mine, not about health issues though. We have a similar discussion every few months, always via email, thank goodness.

Take care, Annette
gymrat1000 responded:
meaningfulc1952... I have a friend like that, and have just left her alone by not calling or emailing for periods of time. She doesn't want help, and any suggestion I make is shot down by her so abruptly, that I quit suggesting anything. Now during the times that we talk, I just say "I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you find something that works for you,"
blessedladyptl responded:
If the pain and/or depression were that bad, she would be seeing a dr and doing what she could to lessen the severity. I had a friend like that, but she never would do anything about any of it. She is a complainer, she always finds something to complain about. She isn't happy unless she is complaining. I finally stopped talking to her.

Having contact with people who are negative like that and don't want any help will have a negative impact on you, even if you aren't aware of it at the time.

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