Hi jasoninvancouver,
BrenBren and Corlaw spoke true words of wisdom because they have been through it just like you are doing now. The only thing I might add is that the reason you are probably not getting good relief is that you are on a cocktail of 2 short-acting pain meds and a muscle relaxer. The problem with those is that you get the highs and lows of short-acting meds which requires you to take them multiple times per day.
For some people with back pain, they obtain very effective pain relief from using a long-acting narcotic such as MS Contin or Fentanyl Transdermal. The Fentanyl patch is only changed every 48-36H depending upon how your physician writes it and it provides very effective pain relief that eliminates those spikes and dips in pain relief. Then you can use the short-acting meds for the times when your pain is not being controlled by the long-acting narcotic since almost everyone experiences bad days where they need a little extra coverage.
It sounds like your present physician doesn't understand how to Rx narcotics effectively and unfortunately is misinformed about addiction, etc. You didn't say what the cause of your back pain is, but going to a specialist who can determine the cause of your pain is important for further treatment and then go from there. There are also many complimentary therapies that can be used and don't know if you have tried any of them such as PT, Iontophoresis, traction, accupuncture, massage, yoga, etc. Before beginning any exercise or therapy, you should always clear it with your physician first to avoid further injury.
First see if you can find another physician who is more understanding of how to treat pain in general and then go from there. Subspecialists such as rheumatologists and neurologists also good choices for pain management. Good luck in your journey and let us know how you are doing. Teresa