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Athletic Pain (trigger)
athlete20 posted:
Over the last 5 years I have had 7 surgeries on my knees shoulders and hand and face. Now during this time I was accused of being addicted to pain medcine which was not true i only took what i was prescribed and never bought anyone off the street and and fmaily and friends just say that he always seem to be hurt. I always hear oh god here we go again hes hurt again. No one my injuries had been small ones like a sprained wrist or ankle they have been serious and have to have surgery to correct. Now I know giving up sports would be a easy out but sports are my life and they are my and they are my only realease in life. I am tured of the scrutiny I know have what I believe to be a torn rotator cuff(waiting on the MRI results) which will require surgery and I just dont know If i can deal with the scrutiny and firestorm when I tell my parents and family. All I can think about is suicide it will save everyone alot of grief myself included I just cant take the people accusing me of going after pain medicine and everything else wwhen I have serious injuries, I am scard and do not know what to do. Suicide would just end this for everyone and everyone could live their lives wondering if I got hurt and what i did this time. I am just lost
bren_bren responded:
Hello there Athlete20,

I just want to share with you that you are not alone in experiencing those types of feelings. You have suffered a tremendous amount of pain related to surgical procedures, then all the emotional torment that people put you through can add a ton of pressure/stress; if you feel that checking out is the only solution, then you need to seek emergency medical treatment.

I have an opinion on suicide: it is for the weak, it is a temporary solution to the problem, and it is a selfish act. I have suffered PTSD like symptoms due to the fact that my own father committed suicide a few years ago. He had fibromyalgia, CFIDS, mono earlier on, and he suffered for over 25 yrs of doctors/family not believing his pain conditions. His suffering was not something anyone could see, he had no crutches, splints, casts, nor a wheelchair. I was unfortunate to be raised by a mother who didn't believe him and tossed her negative opionions around all of her children - 6. Then came grandchildren - 10...he felt more and more isolated an like a "burden". He was where you are acting like you are considering. PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS TO YOURSELF. I believe that you have family and friends who love and care about you and to put them through that trauma and excruciating emotional pain is not the solution. It is a horrible choice that you feel like can solve a problem that could easily be addressed with the help of medical professionals.

I know, I've been there with the stereotypes, the "dissing" and exclusion from gatherings, the rejection from my siblings when I wanted to care for my nieces and nephews...I can only share with you what has helped me in hopes of offering support to you at this time. I'm not certain that you will write back, so I will wait for your response.

Please just find 1 person to talk to and share your feelings. I too was an athelete, and sports (tennis,cycling,soccer) were my outlet. It sucks when you have to lay around and recover all the time, doesn't it?? What sports do you participate in? If you don't mind, how old are you??

Waiting for your response, wishing you my best, Bren
bren_bren responded:
i also just thought of providing you with this link...

you always have options.
athlete20 replied to bren_bren's response:
Hey Bren

The test results for my shoulder came back and in the words of the doctors I have destroyed my rotator cuff. So my surgery is next week. The emotional strain is already starting to take its toll, the family is just all over me about my recovery and actually the procedure saying if I just quit doing anything i wouldnt need the surgery. My wife has just been in a mood as if I am making her do something that is way out of her way, getting snappy with me when the doctor said what I would need help with during recovery. Im not really considering suicide, one I am 2 scared to do it and secondly I cant imagine putting the people that care the most for me through that pain. Overall I am just mentally and physically exhausted from the scrutiny I receive. To give you an example about 6 or 7 weeks ago I pulled or tore my hamstring not sure which I was in a good deal of pain and limping and my wife and family just wrote it off thinking I was faking. Then about 3 days after the entire back side of my leg bruised from halfway down my calf to mid thigh, a deep purple bruise. Instead of them saying im sorry for not believing you, it was well you shouldnt have hurt yourself its your own fault. This is the type situations I deal with on a daily basis and I am just mentally drained and not sure where to go from here.
bren_bren replied to athlete20's response:
hey athlete!
bren_bren replied to athlete20's response:
hey there athlete20, excuse my former submission, this site is going crazy. I haven't been online much lately, so I'm hoping that you haven't dropped out of posting; sorry for the late reply.

I'm so glad you wrote back and share more of the details pertaining to your homelife. It does sound like you have legitament injuries that shouldn't take any justification at all. I don't know your family and how they respond to other people within the family who get sick, or experience anything similar to what you are going through - too bad they couldn't live in your shoes for a day to see/feel what it truly means to be a chronic pain patient. Then maybe they would stop with all the verbal accusations and criticism. I have a family that is fairly large, and it only takes one of the group to start a gossip ring detailing their opinions of my chronic pain that hasn't officially been diagnosed yet. It's weird because if any other member gets a torn muscle, tennis elbow, or discomfort from a cheap mattress, they all listen and respond much more empathetically and jump to make the injured more comfortable. I guess they got tired of my complaining the first 3 yrs of this debilitating pain, then I finally wised up and stopped talking about it...things have gotten better, but I feel more isolated.

I'm sorry to hear that your wife is also coming down on you for getting injured? That is probably 10-fold more of a let down than when it comes from extended family. I am fortunate to have a very supportive and loving husband who is trying his damnedest to get me better. I bet if the roles were revearsed in your situation and your wife was suffering, you would be by her side and support her throughout all the tests, doc's visits, and just there for her to vent to. My only suggestion for you, if you will be dealing with this for years to come, is to find someone you can trust (outside of the family) to confide in and share with. I don't just want to through "counselor" out there, because I don't know if that is what you need, but if you could get advice from a professional, then you could possibly gain control over the situation again.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I have had a rough time here recently too, so you are not alone on that boat. Please write back when you find the time; I'd really like to learn more about what is going on with you. Thanks for posting! Take care, and good luck with surgery, this week??

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