Parenting: 1-Year-Olds Community

I wanted to be a laid back kind of mom but still have reasonable rules in place, after having ds my whole life has been Routine Routine Routine!!! I'm working on trying to losen up. I have stuck to my guns about giving my kid soda and junk food though (unless he grabs it before i catch him) I definitely need to lighten up a bit and have more fun.

I'm VERY laid back. I mean, there are some things that I have to stick to my guns about, and I believe in spanking for dangerous activity and also for repeated offenses of certain things....but for the most part, I'm very relaxed about things.

I guess I never really thought about what kind of mom I would be. I guess maybe more laid back then what I am right now.

I've turned out to be pretty laid back to an extent. But since DD#2 is going to be here in less then 3 weeks I've gotten more strict about some things like bedtime and making her stay in bed. I do believe in spanking for certain things like when she's in danger like climbing things or getting in the drawers that she knows she not souppose to. Or for repeat offenses. I'm not over bearing or anything like that. And actually get told by alot of people that I'm to laid back but I think I'm really strict. I guess I just have a good kid for the most part who dosn't make me be mean all the time.

I'm definitely a little crunchier than I thought I would be. I never really thought I would breast feed and I'm still going strong at 17 1/2 months. Never thought I would make my own baby foods. Never thought I would cloth diaper. Never thought I would want to give up my career. I'm laid back with some things (ie not worrying about if the kids get messy, letting them explore things) but I'm strict with other things (eating healthy, bed/naps, etc).

I thought I was going to be strict, have a schedule and stick with it, have her off the bottle in sippy cup before a year old and all that but man was I wrong. I am so relaxed, in fact a little to relaxed. There is no set bedtime, no schedule at all. We eat meals when we are hungry or when we can. I let her have a few mini m&ms once a while, I don't let her have soda in her sippy cup or anything but I will let her have a few sips of mine. If she would rather eat a banana and fruit loops for dinner instead of meat and veggies well thats ok too, atleast she is eating something. This works for us now but I know when its time for our next LO I will be wishing I wasn't so relaxed and easy going and wished I had more routine and had stuck to that schedule.

any suggestions on how i can loosen up a bit? i noticed i'm more strict when DH is around, i think thats cuz he isnt into discipline at all. I dont want to be that crazy mom that never their kids go outside!! LOL

I think when it comes to my youngest, I am probably pretty laid-back. But what does he do to get punished for, KWIM? lol

He climbs on the table, I get him down and re-direct his attention. He tries to unplug things, I move him away and re-direct. Etc, etc.

As the children grow older and understand discipline better, I do become stricter and have more stringent expectations.

I guess I'm the type of mom who allows her kids to have fun and be kids, but I'm also a mom who expects organization and structure in the house, therefore I don't let the kiddos swing from the curtains like monkeys and eat chocolate on the carpet. I also don't allow them to be disrespectful to each other, which becomes harder and harder to stop when they start school and hear things from other kids.

Bottom line is, you HAVE to have rules. Our job as parents is to raise our children to be happy, healthy, self-sufficient, self-confident adults.

i'm very very very laid back to the tenth...ha ha...and i don't care what anyone thinks about it...lol. he is loved, healthy and well cared for so that's all that matters.

I think I am pretty laid back and easy going. I don't over react if he falls down. I let him go down the big slides all by himself--he has NO FEAR. I don't constantly watch him like a hawk or follow him around. We child-proofed our house, but we didn't pick everything up. If it could hurt him, was either breakable or non-replaceable, then yes we moved it to another location. He has to learn what he can and can not play and I felt that by picking everything up, he wouldn't lean that. I do have some things that I will not budge on--he is still rear-facing, he doesn't drink cokes, he doesn't drink tea or anything else with caffeine for that matter (Colton on caffeine---WHOA NO THANK YOU!!), he eats what we are eating with a few exceptions.

I am laid back I think. But then again Boston set his own schedule. He did this even when he was a newborn; he put himself on a feeding/sleeping schedule on his own.

Now that he is getting close to hitting that 2 year old mark he is still pretty much on his own schedule, and he lets you know when he wants to eat or go night-night. Which is super duper cute.

I do try to have him eat healthy, but then again he loves French fries and chicken nuggets, but I don"019t give him pop or a lot of sugary snacks. But I am not a healthy food freak (especially for myself).

He gets 12 hours of sleep a night and he eats like a champ. He is a big, healthy little boy. Who I love so much!


But I am trying to get myself prepared for LO#2 arrival and I have this feeling that she is going to be NOTHING like her brother in these aspects. So I guess we"019ll see how strict I might become"026haha!

Ahh..but see...here's the thing. I've been there/done that. A lot of the moms here have.

Trust me when I say that if you don't set boundaries when they are young, it's very hard to re-teach them as they get older. Believe me when I say that.

Right now it's all about having fun. It should be! They're only little once. But--they still need to have boundaries.

As an example--My cousin's little boy has been allowed to hit/slap/pinch/bite/kick/scream/yell from the time he was ver small. They laughed at him, because he was little and cute. But now he's in first grade, and she's at the school at least twice a week because of his behavior problems. If she had stopped him when he was little (instead of laughing it off) she wouldn't have that problem now.

JMHO, but you can still let kids be kids and have rules at the same time.

I am laid back about certain things- I don't care if they get dirty or run around the house like crazy people. But there are other things like being respectful, eating healthy foods, brushing hair, teeth, etc, looking mostly presentable when they go out, that I really care about. I never really thought about what kind of parent I would be, I suppose it kind of depends on the child. My oldest was very calm & well behaved when he was younger, so he didn't require a huge set of rules. My little one on the other hand, is a completly different child. She climbs on everything & is just wild. I can tell that she needs boundaries set for her in order to suceed.

I started off pretty regimented: DD No. 1 was doing flashcards at a young age, reading chapter books by the age of 4, had the BEST manners around -- or ELSE!, picked up her toys, never was allowed to mouth off, ate only the freshest, healthiest food, nursed until she was over 2 years of age, always wore sunscreen and hats, had toys of every shape and color, had a strict bedtime, she could only watch rated G movies up until the age of 10, etc. I brushed her hair and teeth several times a day, LOL!

Then No. 2 came along, and I was kinda the same mom as above, only now I allowed cookies, suckers, a binky, threw the flashcards out the window, let her watch movies while I chilled and read a Cosmo magazine, let her run around the yard at 2 p.m. while still in her pjs, didn't potty train her until she was nearly 3, read books daily but not to the extreme as with No. 1, brushed her teeth maybe every day, sometimes didn't brush her hair until daddy was about to arrive home from work, and basically just chilled out a bit more as a mom.

Then No. 3 came along and I let her climb on my kitchen table, the end tables, climbs the stairs cuz there's no gate, I don't brush her teeth but a few times a week (I give her the toothbrush nightly and let her have at it, LOL), she's lucky if her hair gets brushed at all during the day, she runs in puddles, plays in mud, her nose runs and I use her shirt to wipe it up if there's no tissue in proximity (yuck, but I'm being truthful here), let her run around all day with a binky in her mouth, she still uses a bottle for naps/bedtime. We DO, however, read books daily.

So I've definitely evolved/morphed over time.

I'd consider myself pretty laid back. Being a SAHM, I do stick to routine as far as meals and naptime and bedtime go. I mostly do that for myself tho- it helps me to get through the day! Bathtime is whenever. If he wants to watch a movie, fine. I could care less if he eats spaghetti without a bib. I let him eat snacks sometimes in the family room.. I know they will get smooshed into the carpet, but whatver, I'll vacuum later. I know when he runs away with a crayon that I will later find the floor, walls or toys colored. I'm not sure how I overcame my "OCD" with having everything perfect and clean.. I guess I gave up one day and realized that it will never be clean until all the kids are out of the house!! We DO have rules however. He eats what we feed him and if he doesn't like it, he doesn't eat. Almost everything is baby-proofed in the house so he's allowed to go wherever he wants, however, there are certain things he is not allowed to touch such as candles (he eats the wax) or climing on the tables. (He gets punished for climing on the tables.) He eats healthy meals at home but I do let him have treats once in a while and I do take him to McDonalds. Most of my rules revolve around safety, health, respect and obedience. Everything else I don't find important enough to be worrying about all the time!