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OT: Me (vent)
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MontanaMama2009 posted:
So I just feel like venting this morning. Thanks for reading this through its entirety, ladies.

I can't believe that I'll be turning 39 in a few shorts weeks. My last "number 30" age. Next one, 40. Yikes!

I'm noticing more wrinkles around my eyes. Some wrinkles starting on my hands, too. (They look a lot like my mother's hands when I was a teenager). My boobs sag a bit. I have been working out several times a week, so my post-Neathery body is bouncing back just a tad. I've lost 10 pounds since December 1st. I'm pretty proud of that.

I watch my 14yod getting ready for her day at high school: tight little body, perfect hair, a pimple here and there, such an optimistic outlook on life, no worries except for the next final exam or struggles with her BFF. Oh, and there is this senior boy from church who's taken a shine to her. She's not interested...yet.

I swear, wasn't I JUST 14 myself? Okay, so not so "just," but I totally remember that age/stage! What gets me most, however, is that she used to snuggle up so comfortably in my arms when she was a baby. I still remember her smell. What a beautiful little baby, too. Never saw another child quite like her. :)

I look at my 10yod bouncing around the house, long-legged like a little foal and full of energy. Mommy! Look at me! Mommy! Watch what I can do! Jumping on po-go sticks, jumping rope, singing songs all throughout the house. Life consists of important things like doing well in school, having sleepovers, and playing outside.

I stare at her sometimes, wondering what happened to my little wild child. She really is, too, ladies. I mean, this child will go, go, go from morning until night. She is either on "high" speed, or off. No in between.

And she could just make me laugh so hard when she was a little toddler: swinging on the swingset naked because she felt like it, drawing me crayon stick figures of the two of us holding hands. The sounds she made in her sleep as a toddler.

Man! Where has the time gone?

DH and I will celebrate 17 years of marriage on March 17. He was 28 years old, I was 22. He had a head full of light blonde, wavy hair. He had the cutest toosh imaginable. he was full of energy and joy and optimism in life.

_________________________

Man, life has been good. But it sure is flying by faster than I care for. Sometimes, I'll stop dead in my tracks and take a mental photo of my family...to recall when I'm an old lady.

Like the time DH and I were walking hand-in-hand beneath a full moon and a sky full of twinkling stars. I said, "Stop. Take a mental note of this." I've never forgotten the way I felt that night or the smell in the fall air. Beautiful.

So here's to ALL of our mental photos captured for all eternity...or at least until my body draws its last breath.

It's been a good life. I'm blessed.
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leftcoastgirl responded:
What a beautiful sentiment, Kim!

I've heard a saying in the past that "inside every 60-year-old is a 30-year-old wondering, 'what happened?'" OK, neither of us is 60, but I'm starting to get an appreciation for what that statement means. Right now, inside my nearly 34-year-old body is a 15-year-old wondering what happened!
 
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1stbaby2008 responded:
I feel so many aspects of your post, I got teary eyed reading it. For me, I am 31 and started a family late. DH does not really want to have another child, so I watch DD and think like that all the time, how fast did we get here? Did I miss anything? I am still holding out hope that I will get to experience the love of another child, especially since my brother lost their only child at age 14. But it also seems like yesterday that I was "young". Thanks a lot for an emotional Friday!
 
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mel07430 responded:
This was such a nice post...I got teary eyed!! You write very well!! I agree I am going to be 37 and I swear I was just in 5th grade....or even HS. I cannot believe how fast life is going by and all of the things I have done, yet I also feel as if it is just starting because I just had my first child 18 months ago and I have one on the way. I feel so conflicted!! hahaha
 
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palvarad responded:
Ok. you just made me nearly cry at work. I just had to close the door to my office (people are nosy here!).

Thank you. Sometimes I need perspective and this was my check for today. Thank you for reminding me that life is fleeting, and what I have is pretty darn awesome :)

And before I forget HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!!!!! :)
 
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MontanaMama2009 replied to palvarad's response:
So I emailed this story to my friend Lindsey, who is just starting out in life, and this was her response:

perfect outlook on life kim;) I think it's truly amazing how two people who had never before met join together in marriage and begin to share all of life's experiences together...and grow old together.

it's truly amazing how life works isn't it~it's a precious gift
 
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jlcohen78 responded:
I've found myself also thinking the same things. Where did the time go? And I'm continually trying to remind myself to take some mental photos because before I know it, my kids will be having their own kids.

The drive to DD's neurologist takes us right in the middle of the University of Pennsylvania. Whenever I see the students walking around between classes, I think back to the time when I was in college. I thought life was complicated back then. Boy, was I wrong. It was so simple back then. Not a care in the world. No one to worry about but myself. Some days I miss that part of my life. But no matter how hard things have become for me in the past few weeks, it's been a good life and I too an blessed.

Ok, Kim. Thanks for that cry.....Time to pass the tissue box around and dry these teary eyes!
 
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MontanaMama2009 replied to jlcohen78's response:
Now YOUR response brought ME to tears...I'll take a tissue, please.
 
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daisy729 responded:
I remember when I was turning 30 and I thought my world was falling apart. I defined myself as a 20 something with the world at her heals. So, I thought turning 30 was this horrible thing. It has taken a while, but I did embrace it. I saw it as a new time in my life. Now, it wasn't about me anymore, it was about having a family. But, I do have those pictures in my mind of when I was younger. I remember how the breeze felt on my face, or the smell in the air, or how my food tasted, or just how that moment felt. I just had that this morning. I rolled down my window and felt the cool breeze over my face and the smell of the orange blossoms in the air. And it totally took me back to when I was in college. Then I start thinkig back to those days and how fun and great life was.

Now, life is about diapers, toddler stuff, kid movies, having a husband, mortgage, a house to clean. It's not about going out with friends, going to the club, drinking, what boy/boy's I'm dating now. I loved that time in my life and miss it dearly. However, it would never, ever trade my life now. I can't tell you in enough words how much it touches me, way down to my core, my soul, when I Dane gives me hugs and kisses.

And I do know the next stage in life will be to have kids that just don't want to snuggle up on the couch anymore or hang out with me. But, I will hopefully get to watch the fruits of my labor and watch them grow into wonderful adults, God willing. Then, I will get to have grandbabies. How great is that going to be? I can watch my kids going through what I'm doing right now.

The circle of life is truely amazing to watch and be a part of. It's just that this journey of life on Earth is SO fast. I notice as I get older that I try to make more and more of those mental notes because I do see how fast life is going by now.

Thanks again Kim for making me cry at work! Dang it, pass the tissue to me.
 
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mamatobe08 responded:
I get those feelings a lot when I talk to my friends from college. I am the only one in a serious long-term relationship, and the only one with a kid. They all still get together often to go out on the town, party hard, and meet random guys. Sometimes it makes me miss those days, being a social butterfly, doing what I wanted when I wanted. But I wouldn't change it for anything! I have taken to scrapbooking now that I'm a CM consultant, and I have been doing a LOT of college projects because I love looking back and remembering those memories. And like you, I miss my old body!
 
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MontanaMama2009 replied to leftcoastgirl's response:
I totally agree with your statement, leftcoast. I DO feel that way, like I'm still 18 but trapped inside this aging woman's body, LOL :)
 
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MontanaMama2009 replied to jlcohen78's response:
I miss those days where I only focused onmyself, too. but when I was at that point in my life, jlcohen78, I always felt something was missing. It was my family...I know that now.
 
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mtnwolf responded:
Amen!! Blessed here too! Thanks :)
 
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danimoma responded:
i normally just lurk,but i had to tell you how beautiful your words are :)
 
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ShayKTen responded:
you made me cry! That is just.... beautiful. You have a life to be proud of


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