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    TRIGGS - 1st Trimester Appt
    earleyml1012 posted:
    On Thursday I went to by OB for my 11 week check-up and annual visit. After my pap, the dr got the doppler out to check the heartbeat and was searching for what seemed like forever. He was even pressing up on my uterus hoping to get the baby closer to the surface. After a little more time, he stops and asks me if my periods were regular...yep. So he says I'll be right back and just leaves. DH and I look at each other and my heart just drops. I know this isn't good b/c with DD I didn't have an internal exam so the dr just try without pushing my uterus up and found the heartbeat pretty much right away. So the doctor comes back into the room and explains that they want to do an ultrasound to see if they can see a heartbeat in case I'm not as far along as we thought. Also he stated that my uterus is tilted a little so the baby might be hiding. Unfortunately, I have a feeling what they are going to find. The tech finds the sac right away and zooms in on the baby. My friend just posted pictures of what her ultrasound looked like at 11 weeks and right away I know the baby isn't 11 weeks. Then I notice there's no heartbeat and the tech says what we now knew, the baby stopped developing around 9 weeks.

    Since it had been 2 weeks since I lost the baby and my body didn't react, the dr scheduled me for a D&E&C the following day (Friday). However, since I have A- blood, I needed to go to the hospital Thursday afternoon for a Rhogyam shot. Let me tell you sitting in the hospital for 2 1/2 hrs after hearing that I just lost my baby was the most draining, difficult thing I could do. DH and I couldn't talk or mourn while in a triage waiting room and kind of had to act normal. Then of course everyone thinks I'm there due to a healthy pregnancy that needs the 20 wks shot. My heart just broke saying it out loud a million times. However, the hardest part was telling DD that there was no longer a baby in mommy's belly. :c(

    So Friday I go to the outpatient surgery center for the procedure, and it about breaks me into a million pieces. Fortunately, my nurses were great and comforted me the best they could. I know God had a reason for this and that in His time we will have the second child that we hoped for. However, it's still very hard. We have a great support system with our friends and family but for now my heart just aches. I'm trying to be strong around DD and it helps to have her but yet she makes my heart break anytime she says the word baby.

    Anyone who has gone through this, you are incredibly strong women! I never thought this would be me or would've thought it would be so hard. Why the mourning? I've never met this baby or felt this baby move. Why does it hurt so much? Will the emptiness ever go away? All I know is that God will use this for His glory and in time it will all make sense.

    Thanks for listening and making it this far.
    elegi23 responded:
    Oh my! I'm so very sorry. I know there's not much words that anyone can say to make it better. I know what you're going through and its so hard. Just stay strong. I did things to keep my mind off it, and we went right back to trying. Having a good support system helps.

    I hope that everything goes okay with you! God bless! My prayers and thoughts will be with you.
    Me (22), DH(29) DD Eleora Marylin 07/23/10
    Brubee responded:
    Oh honey I am so sorry. I went through a miscarage in febuary. My story is exactly like yours, only my Doc was using the internal US. I was 11 weeks in for my first appointment my DH and DD were there all excited to see the heartbeat and there was no beat just that still little baby. I had an US at 11 weeks with my DD so i kinda knew what to look for. That is an image that will stay with me forever. The loss will ease with time. But be preprared for around your due date. My Duedate was August 25 so I have been kinda depressed for a couple of weeks. I should have this moster belly and feeling awfully tired and sore but no. this time the ache is in my heart. I am glad that you are taking comfort in God that has helped me alot. I also like to think that my lil baby was just so awesome that God wanted to keep him awhile. May God Bless you with His Healing in your body and heart. Please know that we are here for you when you want to vent or talk about it. ~B~
    Me~27 DH~30 DD~20mos angelbaby~2/2/2010 11 weeks.
    roni090909 responded:
    I am so sorry about your loss
    Me (30) DH (37) DS 10/20/08 New Baby Girl EDD 11/11
    jlc78 responded:
    I'm so sorry.
    Me (31) DH (32) and our 2 beautiful babes DS (6/07) and DD (9/08)
    mamatobe08 responded:
    I'm so sorry. You are in my thoughts...
    momofone08 responded:
    I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers,

    I have m/c'd twice and yes it's very hard but I promise it will get easier. Just always remember that God never gives you anything you can't handle.

    Once again I am extremely sorry for your loss.

    Married 6/18/08~ 2 angels 7/07 ans 4/10~~ DD 9/16/08 7lbs 2oz 19 in~~ TTC 2 since June 2009~~ Moderate PCOS taking progesterone.
    TyPatrick08 responded:
    I am so very sorry for your loss, I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
    Me (23) DF (25) Tyler born 11-19-08 7lb9oz 20 1/2 inc 18 month check up 26lb 33in
    sarahaguirre responded:
    I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.
    Me (27) DH (27) My baby cake Stella born 3/10/2009 Baby 2 EDD 1/28/11
    ad1978 responded:
    Very sorry for your loss.
    sarahann1978 responded:
    Words can't express a way to comfort in times like these, but I wanted you to know that my heart hurts for you and I will pray that with time your heart heals and that you will have a happy and healthy pregnancy the next time around.
    Sarah (31), DH(29), DS (Jan. 09)
    Silver623 responded:
    I'm so sorry for your loss. The mourning is completely normal and natural. From the time you got the BFP I am sure you were already planning for this child's life and your future with this child. The emptiness will go away over time and the hurt will lessen but you will never forget or be over it completely. Your due date and the date you discovered the m/c will stay in your mind as sore reminders year after year, but it really does get better. I tell myself that there must have been something very wrong with the baby and it's better to lose him/her now then carrying him/her to full term and losing a live child. Now that I can't imagine getting over. Take care and allow your body and heart to heal. ((((HUGS)))))
    cheeezie25 responded:
    I am very sorry for your loss :(

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