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Am I weird? Sleep-overs
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bcfrost816 posted:
Okay, so my sister has been bothering me for forever about letting DD go over to spend the night at her house. My sister has two kids, 4 and 2. She's great and I trust her, she watches my DD often.

So.....I just don't feel comfortable about a sleep over. I mean, DD is only 19 months old...I don't really see the need for a sleep over at this age, you know? And she'd have to sleep in a crib again in my niece's room, and my sister's kids have totally differant sleep schedules than my DD. Her kids are up at like 6am but my DD sleeps till about 8:30. I'm worried about my sisters DD waking my DD up in the morning. Am I the only one that doesn't feel comfortable with sleep overs??

Okay, and one more thing :-) I have a problem trusting others with my DD. I'm fine with my family members and my mom watching her at my house and my mom watches her quite often. It has to do more with when they want to take her somewhere and driving her around. I seriously have such anxiety thinking about them driving her places. An example-- DH and I's annivarsery is Tuesday and my sister had said she would come over and watch DD for us while we go out to dinner and a movie. She just called me a little while ago and said she forgot that Tuesday night is the first night for her DS's soccer practice. She wanted to know if she could take my DD with her and her two kids to the practice (which is about 30 minutes from my house). And I just don't feel comfortable with that. My biggest fear is that something would happen to DD (car accident) with her and it would change my relationship with my sister. Or, at the practice, she is going to want to watch her DS so how can she make sure to keep an eye on my DD? Ugh...I don't want to not go out with DH but I am so anxious about this!!!! Am I weird?? LOL
Courtney (28) DH (30) DD Peyton 17 months; baby girl EDD 9/26/10
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Silver623 responded:
You're not weird, those are totally normal feelings, but I think you should try and let your sister take your DD. Once you do it a few times, you will probably be fine with it. A sleep over would be fun for your DD, your sister, her kids and you and DH. Is DH comfortable with it? If so, I'd give it a try. If he is concerned then I'd be hesitant. And BTW, little kid's soccer practice is torture to watch....even when it's your own kid....so she will probably be thrilled to have your DD to keep her amused. :)
 
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jlc78 responded:
I don't think you're weird. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm just not comfortable yet with my kids sleeping away from me or DH. DS slept over my parents house one time when he was 2 1/2. The only reason it even happened was because DD was admitted to the hospital. He did just fine and really enjoyed it but it's just not something that I like doing yet.

The only people that have ever watched DS or DD are my mom, step-mom, dad and sister. I trust them entirely but every once in a while one of those crazy thoughts will come into my head. I think it's normal to worry about them! That's our job as mothers, lol!
Me (31) DH (32) and our 2 beautiful babes DS (6/07) and DD (9/08)
 
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roni090909 responded:
The only person I trust with DS is my Mom and DH for extended periods of time. I have a friend that has a DD about DS's age and she has watched him once for me. I am with you I just don't trust people with DS. I don't think I would be ready for a sleepover just yet but it sure would be nice to be able to sleep in in the morning. For driving I am not comfortable with any driving with DS but me, DH and my Mom.
Me (30) DH (37) DS 10/20/08 New Baby Girl EDD 11/11
 
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bcfrost816 replied to roni090909's response:
See, and DD sleeps until 8:30 in the morning, so its not like we don't get to sleep in anyways, lol. I guess I just don't see the point until she is older and would enjoy it more.

I'm having a really hard time with the whole driving thing with my sister and taking DD to her DS's soccer practice. I just talked to DH about it and of course he is fine with it. He really wants to go out, so now I'm thinking it will make him mad if I don't let my sister do it. So now I'm crying because I feel like I'm being completely ridiculous...:-(

I just don't know if I need to force myself to do it so I feel more comfortable with it, or it I will end up just worried like crazy the whole night and not enjoy the time out with DH. I just have these crazy thoughts of my DD getting really hurt or worse, and I just can't stand the thought of that. But I know it can happen just as easily with me as it could with someone else. Maybe its the prego hormones making this worse.
Courtney (28) DH (30) DD Peyton 17 months; baby girl EDD 9/26/10
 
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cheeezie25 responded:
Do it. My DS has spent the night over my mom's and my MIL's house.... omg... I have no idea how many times, but it is a lot! The first night you spend away from them is always difficult, but it gets easier (and much more awesome) with each consecutive time they sleep over someone else's house at night. My DS loves staing over mom-mom or grandma's house too, so it really is a win-win situation. And even though she sleeps well and sleeps into 8:30 (which I can say I am pretty envious of), you would still have to do the whole baby routine (make her breakfast, watch cartoons, whatever you do) in the morning. It is SO nice to wake up and know that you don't have any responsibilities in the morning.

So yeah, do it. Don't feel bad about, and if you get anxiety, just call your sister to check on her.
 
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roni090909 replied to bcfrost816's response:
I am sure DD would be fine but I completely understand your fears. When we went to Vegas a month ago my Mom flew in to watch DS and this was the first time anyone other than DH or I drove DS around. I am sure she was very cautious as your sister would be. I remember when I was in college I was a nanny and I had to drive the little boy around. I was so freaked out about it. I was so afraid of something happening to him and it being my fault.
Me (30) DH (37) DS 10/20/08 New Baby Girl EDD 11/11
 
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CateG1973 responded:
"Weird" isn't the right word--I imagine you aren't the only mom who would feel uncomfortable about this. However, I would say it's a bit on the overprotective side.

Re: The sleepover - I would imagine this would be a lot of fun for both your daughter and her cousins. So what if her sleep or nap schedule is thrown off a bit. Unless you know she'll be terribly unruly for your sister as a result, the fun she's having with her cousins during the sleepover will surely make up for it (the benefit overrides the risk). And maybe she'll be a little crankier than normal when you bring her home the next day, but consider it a sacrifice you've made for her and her cousins to spend some fun time together.

Re: Soccer practice - It sounds like you're worrying about something that is incredibly unlikely to happy (a car accident). Try to let those irrational thoughts go, and enjoy your anniversary with your husband.

Good luck with your decisions. Relax and enjoy! :)
 
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lenono97 responded:
I think your fears are normal. But, remember, like the PP said, the likelyhood of something happening to DD, like a car accident, etc, is very low and could happen just as easily if she was with you. I would let that worry go espcially if it means you and DH don't get to go out. Time alone with DH is also important. Your sister has two kids, sounds like she knows what she is doing. I am not sure a sleep over makes sense at this age. If you had to go out of town or going out and getting home really late, then it might make sense for her to sleep over. I would probably wait until DD was older unless there is a specific need for it.
 
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Ryannbaby replied to CateG1973's response:
I agree with Cate. Go out and have some fun. DD has only stayed over MIL's house, and my Brother's when she was much younger ... and of course it's a little hard on me, because I miss her tons. I will admit that I did a complete inspection of MIL's carseat installation so I'd fel comfortable with her driving her anywhere.

I juts say to bite the bullet and try your hardest to calm your nerves. She will be just fine - I'm sure she is in great hands. Enjoy your anniversary!!
 
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Ryannbaby replied to Ryannbaby's response:
Pardon the typos!
 
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sarahaguirre responded:
I wouldn't say your fears are weird or odd it is normal to be attached and worrysome over your LO's. Regarding the sleep over I say it'll be fun. It sounds like your sister is a great mom and would like her family to bond and have a fun day with your LO. I have one brother and he and his family live a state away. If they lived closer I think it would be a great time for DD and her cousins to hang together. Even if her nap schedule is a little off I wouldn't worry too much about it. Sometimes as a parent you just have to roll with the punches. Besides it's the weekend and you'll have time to get her back on her sleeping schedule. The trade off to your LO might make it worth it for how much fun she'll have. I also don't think sleep overs are totally necessary but I don't think they're uncalled for either. DD has had a few sleep overs at my mom's and MIL's house and everything was fine. I agree with pp. Spending time with your DH is sooooo important.

Now about her being driven to soccer practice I think it'll be fine. Now at some point you'll have to trust someone with your kids and why not get used to the idea with someone you trust like your sister. It is very unlikely that you're DD will be involved in a serious wreck but remember your LO will be in a carseat. I think you are being a little over protective and there isn't anything wrong with your feelings. I think it will be good for you to make steps to get rid of some of your seperation anxiety. You're LO will have a blast and it'll be harder for you to be away then it will be for her. It does get easier. I say do it!
Me (27) DH (27) DD Stella born 3/10/2009 Baby Boy's EDD 1/28/11
 
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earleyml1012 replied to sarahaguirre's response:
I don't feel comfortable with DD spending the night at either of our parents either. My DD is in daycare so it's not really a separation anxiety for us as much as I don't trust our parents. They seem to have no rules with DD while she's at their house, so I can't imagine what they'd let her do when we aren't there. I mean they let her play with glass figurines sitting around and she's cut her finger by breaking one before.

I'm with you about letting others drive DD. I know that they luckly hold of them being in an accident is the same as if either DH or I were driving her. But there's just something about regrets and change in relationship with person driving if something were to happen. Maybe we are paranoid but I personally don't feel comfortable with it yet. When either of our parents watch DD, we just have them stay at the house. Maybe once we have more children we won't be as "protective" at least that's what I've heard from other parents.
 
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bcfrost816 replied to earleyml1012's response:
I can see that is is a little overprotective...but I can't seem to help that :-) And I would not consider myself an overprotective momma either....most things don't bother me at all, but this whole driving thing has me all messed up, lol.
Perhaps part of the prego hormones are getting to me I suppose. Most of you say I should do it...and that is what DH says (although he has ulterior motives, he just wants to go out on a date, lol). I just fear the worst....which is slightly neurotic I will admit, but it happens, right??

Seems like I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and do it...I just hope that it helps me to relax more about this stuff and doesn't ruin our evening.
Courtney (28) DH (30) DD Peyton 17 months; baby girl EDD 9/26/10
 
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jlynnpaine responded:
I completely understand your fears and I don't think you're weird. However, I think you should do it. A lot of the times thinking about doing something is worse than actually doing it. I think by running all these scenerios through in your mind, it's making it seems worse. It sounds to me like your sister is very responsible. She asked you about taking your DD to the soccer practice rather than just assuming it was okay and going anyway. To me, that says she cares about your feelings and will do everything necessary to keep your DD safe. As for the sleepover, I would say that's a toss up. I don't know that I'd be ready for it yet but I'm sure your DD would have a lot of fun and like pp said, if she gets woken up early, it's not the end of the world. Good luck making your decision. I hope you can have fun with your DH on your date. You deserve to go out and enjoy yourself.


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