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You have a 1-Year-Old and endless questions?
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Too many questions
tempymae2007 posted:
I just have to vent a minute.

My sister (17) babysits for me while we are at work. She gets paid for it. Maybe not as much as some sitters but she still gets paid. Here is my vent. I am a first time mother and I love my daughter a lot. I have to work to help support our family so I have to leave her during the day. That doesn't mean I shut off my mommy brain when I go to work. I still worry about her and want to know how she is doing. I call my sister or text her and she gets upset with me for doing this. I know that if she were in a daycare I wouldn't be able to just call whenever but when I got there to pick her up if I asked them questions about her day they would answer me with more than one word answers. This is my baby for crying out aloud, if I wanna know what time she woke up, how she's behaving, what she had for lunch or if she pooped good that day I am entitled to. I know I could ask her when I get home from work but I get the same thing, attitude. That or she hides in her room talking to her boyfriend on the phone. I understand she is 17 and all but she needs to grow up a little because she is having a baby in Jan. I wish I had the money to put her in a day care center but I don't and she offered. Anyway that is my vent for now, thanks for listening.
cheeezie25 responded:
If she is 17, why is she not in school?

But yeah, unfortunately, you get what you pay for. I had my mom watching my DS one day a week for over a year, and it was always a headache in terms of getting her to carry out my wishes. I've since switched entirely to daycare in order to keep the family/child care provider roles separate, and it works out much better.
ad1978 responded:
I don't think you're going to get her to change...unfortunately, if you want a change, you're probably going to have to find a way to pay for another daycare provider.

But in the meantime, you could write up a daily report form and instruct her to fill it out and give it to you at the end of each day (that's what my dcp does--it shows exactly when and what she ate, pooped, slept, etc). Tell her it is part of the job and it is required in order for her to get paid. Maybe she won't mind doing it since it means she can avoid actually talking about it at the end of the day.
Mybaby83 replied to ad1978's response:
I did the same thing with my sister when I worked. She was 20 and watched her 2 or 3 days a week. I would text her all the time asking stupid questions about how much she slept, did she poop, what did she eat, is she laughing etc. My sister would just laugh at me but she would answer my questions! I would also make her call or text me if she was being really fussy or if she wanted to take her anywhere. I don't think that was too much to ask really. My sister doesn't have a child of her own but maybe your sister will understand more when she has her baby!
Melissa (26), DH (Ryan), DD (Leah) born 7/8/09
breezy_83255 responded:
I don't think you're asking too much of her. You are entitled to know those things if you want to.

I think I'm the odd one. I never call my babysitter during the day. Not even when it is my sister. I will occasionally ask about naps, etc., but not always. I watched my niece for two years for my sister when I was in college. She very seldom called except to tell me if she was running late so I could time the bottles right for her to nurse when she got home.

MIL calls and checks on DH more often than I check on my small children! I was hoping I was the normal one, but you guys have burst my bubble :(
earleyml1012 replied to breezy_83255's response:
breezy_83255 don't feel bad. I don't check up on my DD that much either, other than when she is staying at home with my mom b/c she's sick. Then I want to know how she's doing incase I need to make a doctor's appointment. At the end of the day when I pick DD up from daycare, I'll briefly talk to her teacher about her day. I guess I'm in the minority with you!

tempymae2007 - I like the PP's suggestion about having a form for your sister to fill out. That's what our center does, so if the teacher has to leave before I get there, I have some idea of how DD behaved during the day. This could be why I don't worry about her as much during the day b/c I know I'll have a form telling me what she ate and how much, her diaper changes (BM or Wet) and what time, and then how she napped. This might be easier for your sister so that she doesn't feel like you are constantly "bugging" her.
sarahann1978 replied to breezy_83255's response:
I never call my DCP either. I figure they are licensed professionals and they know what they are doing and if I'm calling them, I am keeping them from the kids and I want them focused on care of my DS, not on yackin' on the phone with me. I always make sure they have a number for me or DH, especially if we aren't at our desks at our office. They usually tell me at pick up if he had a nap or not, but sometimes they don't even do that because a lot of parents pick up at that time.

If I had a family member watching I might be more concerned, especially with a young girl. But I would still worry that I'm taking her away from the child so I probably would not call, but an update at the end of the day is definitely not too much to ask.
Sarah (31), DH(29), DS (Jan. 09)
ad1978 replied to sarahann1978's response:
I don't call either...because they are so good about giving me a report at the end of the day with all the basics. No need to be bothering them during the day. Once in a while if my mom or MIL is watching her just for one day, I might check in once (during the nap), but if they were watching her consistently, I wouldn't be calling.

The only time I call my dcp is if LO is recovering from illness and I just want to see if she seems to be feeling better.
breezy_83255 replied to earleyml1012's response:
DD stays home with MIL once in a while when she's sick, but I still don't call. I know DH and MIL will keep in constant contact, and DH will let me know anything important. That, and I don't want to spend my "free" time talking to MIL!

I think I would ask more if I didn't know the people- like at a center. My current babysitter is from a local family and has lived here her entire life. She actually went to school with one of my SIL's. I have taught her nephew and two of her sons in school, and also dealt with her through them. Her sons are AMAZING, and that also puts my mind at rest. She really is one of a kind. I trust 100% that she'll call if needed, but she's capable of taking care of minor things. She also knows my girls well enough to know that a fever in DD1 doesn't mean much, and DD2 only throws up if she's SICK! That said, she will keep them until I'm off and deal with the puking. She washes clothes and babies them in every way! She even kept them late one night so we could go to my ultrasound (over 70 miles from her house, over 100 from mine) and DD wouldn't have to miss dancing. They ate dinner with her family and had cake for her son's birthday. Now they want to stay every night!

Sorry! I rambled. I just had to brag :)

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