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WWYD??
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angelsmythers posted:

I never really get on here much, but i need advise.... I would just post this on Facebook because ihave most of you mama's as a friend :) BUT MIL is on there as well as SIL... sooo you know where this is going...

MIL&SIL stopped by the other day and asked me how i felt about them getting Connor a baby doll for christmas..... I was kind of hesitant but did not want to sound rude so i said, well if they make boy-ish baby dolls then i guess it is ok... well then SIL proceeds to say good because i got him one with a pink stroller.... This is no joke... i was speechless... I just find it odd that out of all the toys they could get him, this is what they choose. MIL says it will make him more sensitive, and nurturing when he is older... I personally dont want him to have a baby doll and stroller... I mean the child has all kinds of stuffed animals, and he has his scout dog... WHY CANT HE JUST NURTURE THOSE?? lol... Im just not sure what i should do.. i just always thought little boys should always grow up playing with trucks and army dolls... not BABY dolls and strollers.. its one thing if he had sisters and they were his sisters toys...but he DOESNT.. I think maybe ill ask them to keep them at their house?? or hide them in a closet and bring them out when we have ltitle girls over... does this make any sense?? lol
Angel(21) Mike(21) My little monkey butt Connor (16 months!!) Born May 19, 2009 at 3:23 pm weighing 7lbs 14oz 21 in long.
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kfitz responded:
Well I have dds so I don't know about boys, but I would think they would've asked BEFORE they bought anything. I buy dd#1 cars b/c she loves them, but I try to buy pink ones. She does have some that are not feminine though. I don't think I woudl have a problem with my son playing with a doll, but a stroller - pink at that - maybe is a little much. I think DH had a male cabbage patch kid and I would think that would be okay. How does DH feel? I think it would come off easier if he told your SIL to not give him that gift. It sounds like she's just trying to get a rise out of you.
 
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sdadkin responded:
I think it would be one thing if he already played with dolls (like at daycare or if he had a sister or girl cousin) but just to get it for him to make him sensitive? That's ridiculous! I've seen my son play with dolls at daycare with some of the little girls, but I wouldn't ever just buy him one. He does have a little shopping cart he likes to push around and throw his balls and trucks inside. And he has stuffed animals, but no dolls or strollers! This seems crazy! I would just return it or leave it at their house like you said. Maybe you could get him a little shopping cart or wagon instead?
Me (25) SO (25) DS (7/22/09) EDD (5/10/11)
 
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crunk05177 replied to sdadkin's response:
When DS1 was a little over a year, I used to watch a little girl who obviously had a bunch of dolls and stuff. He LOVED them. I got him a My Buddy doll off of Ebay and a green stroller. He still loves them and usually crashes the baby in the stroller into the walls or puts cars in it anyway. Pink is a little much....I wouldn't be ok with that. But a gender nuetral one I think is ok.
Me (27), DH (29), DS1 (almost 4) and DS2 (12 months and has a peanut allergy)
 
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ShayKTen responded:
I don't see a problem with boys playing with dolls or strollers, etc. However since he doesn't play with them right now, I wouldn't be able to justify their reasoning for buying him one for Christmas... especially a pink stroller :/

I have to say that my DH would be livid if his mom and sister did this if we had a little boy who didn't play with dolls. What does your DH say about it? Maybe he could talk some sense into them. I mean, is your DS going to be excited when he unwraps the gift??
 
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heather7257 responded:
My mom always used to say that little boys should have one doll because it teaches them how to be gentle and take care of things and will make them good daddies some day. Not sure if this is accurate or not, but I doubt it will make him too feminine or harm him in anyway to have that toy. The general trend of society seems to be a more equal relationship between male and female roles. More daddies are staying at home caring for kids and keeping house, while the moms are out holding a job. You have to do what you are comfortable with and you have all the right in the world to decide either way. I suppose you could watch how he reacts with the doll and if you are uncomfortable with that discreetly phase it out. My DD is 16 mo and she got a dolly from her aunty and uncle and it is really kind of cute and funny to watch her with it. It is almost like it stresses her out a bit and she usually wants me to feed it and change it etc. But she seems to enjoy it. Whatever you decide, I doubt it will have a huge lasting affect on your little guy. Good luck!
 
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staceyj0709 responded:
I really don't see the issue. Let the kid have a doll.
 
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kfitz responded:
So what did you end up doing?
 
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cujaybird responded:
I would be annoyed by that, especially the pink stroller and it seems like they are doing it to get a reaction from you. There are plenty of toys out there that can help teach nurturing and such without it being something pink and super girl-ish. Even a doll would be fine or a my buddy doll, but the pink is just annoying, lol.
Jamie, (28) Josh, (30) and Leah, born 6-27-09.
 
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cheeezie25 responded:
I'll preface this by saying that I don't think there would be anything wrong if your son wanted a doll or was interested in dolls, and personally, I would never discourage that.

However, that is just really bizarre that out of all the possible toys they could have picked out for your DS, they chose a baby doll with a pink stroller. Personally, I just find baby dolls to be a little creepy in general, and I just think there are much better options out there for toys that would allow him to be sensitive and nurturing, like as you said, stuffed animals or even something like a Dora doll, which I think would be equally appreciated by both genders (they have one in DS's daycare class, and ALL the kids love it).

But yeah, my opinion is that a) they want to get a rise out of you or b) that they are dying to have a little grandaughter/niece in the family. However, if they do/did give it to your son, I wouldn't go to the extreme of hiding it in a closet or anything. Just leave it out and if he takes an interest in it, then it is just one more toy he has to play with, and if he doesn't, it collects dust until you decide to get rid of it.
 
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molly88888 responded:
I would be okay with the baby doll, and stroller, but i think getting him a pink one is strange. I think it's fine for boys to play with baby dolls, just like it's okay for girls to play with trucks and cars, but for some reason one is more accepted than the other. Gender roles are placed on kids from the very beginning. When you walk into a store (like say, you wasn't sure what gift to get a little boy/girl) you are automatically asked "is it for a boy or a girl?" but what does it matter? I think it's important for kids to know that women and men do not have specific roles. Like, i don't think a child should think that dad goes to work, and mom stays home to care for children, dishes, cleaning..rather that be the case in the home they live in or not. They should know it's okay for a guy to change diapers, care for kids, cook, clean too..

To go out and purposely by him a pink stroller is not going to make him more sensitive, if it's not in the cards anyway. The doll would be okay for me, but why not let him push the doll in a shopping cart or something..and not try to push the pink too far..
 
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HeatherHans responded:
One of two things will happen. Your son might love it, at which point you won't care what it is, you will just enjoy seeing your son so happy with his new toy. Or your son may be indifferent to it and ignore it completely. I don't see anything wrong with either. As far as the stroller being pink? I agree that they may have been trying to irritate you, but it's just a color. No biggie.
 
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mol13 responded:
I don't know why they bothered to buy a stroller. I think that doll strollers are ridiculous whether boys or girls are playing with them. If you have a baby doll, you should hold it and play with it.

I don't think it matters that they got him a doll, but the pink stroller is ridiculous. That said, it's a doll and some boys like dolls more than others. And some baby dolls end up riding on trucks and crashing into things regardless of who is playing with them. And actually, some strollers end up being truck-holders anyway. My kids like pushing around the toy shopping carts just because they like rolling stuff around.
Molly (30) DH (36) David 08/30/07, cancer survivor and letter-lover; Jesse 07/05/09, big talker and bigger climber. Surprise EDD 7/13/2011--MY birthday!
 
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DDK2005 responded:
OK I haven't been on line since the holidays, but Im curious how this went down. I actually dont see anything with getting him a doll either, but I myself like to buy dolls the kids can relate to. For example, i bought Ava lil dolls with brown hair and brown eyes and darker skin tone. She got a few other types including a lil boy cabbage patch & she likes the one that looks like her the best. As for the stroller - kids like to just push things around with wheels - Ava loves her stroller & shopping cart. Though, I still dont get why they would buy him a Pink stroller? Seems like they did just want a rise out of you. They have gender nuetral strollers and shopping carts.

What kind of doll did they end up geting him?
Me: Dee (36), DH: Ken (36), DD: Ava 3/26/09 5lbs 15oz, 19.5 in - at 13mo chk up weighed 18.2lbs
 
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angelsmythers replied to DDK2005's response:
Im sorry I havent been able to get on and reply to everyone. Something weird is going on with my interent. They did end up getting him a purple polka dot stroller and blue baby doll. He doesnt show ANY interest in the stroller though. It sat around and was mostly in the way so we just put it in his toy closet. I was very annoyed that they just HAD to get him that. He does play with the baby doll though, he put it to bed and tells it night night! BUT mostly he loves his woody doll. He carries it with him EVERYWHERE. I love this age.

I wasnt so upset they wanted to get him stroller, just the fact that they wanted to get him a girly one. Why not a white one or blue one?? OR a different toy. Maybe learning toys...SIL is one of those kind of people who just does things to make a point... It annoys me.... Which is why the whole situation annoyed me.

Thanks everyone for all the replys! Sorry to leave you hanging for so long!
Angel(21) Mike(21) My little monkey butt Connor (16 months!!) Born May 19, 2009 at 3:23 pm weighing 7lbs 14oz 21 in long.


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