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Goodbye for now :(
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fiannakyn posted:
My foster son has a new home to go to next week (his FOREVER HOME!! I'm sad we were not able to adopt him, but glad he is going to a good place, never to be moved again!)

So I wont have a 1 year old in the house for the next year. We won't be taking any more foster placements till we are settled with this baby - probably a year or so.

Thak you everyone for your wonderfull advice!
Vicky(34), DH(34), DFS(18m)(going home soon), DS due Christmas Day, by private adoption.
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orin34 responded:
Awwwww I'm sorry to hear that.
When I went to a thing with my husband I got bombarded by these guys from this foster parenting booth. I was pushing my son (then six months old) and they were trying to get me to look into foster parenting. . . . It's just not for me. It is hard enough getting to know students over the course of the year and have them move on... I can't imagine living with a child only to have them taken away (even if it is to a good place).
What a fabulous christmas present you are getting though! I don't think I have ever read your siggy so I didn't know/remember that you are adopting!
 
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fiannakyn replied to orin34's response:
Thank you
The fostering community is always in need of various help- if you want to help but don't feel that actuall fostering is right for you (perfectly ok to feel that way, teaching isnt for everyone either ) there are several other options, from voluteering to help at parents night outs (my county does them once a month) to being CASA voluteeres, to even just helping with a local organization that helps with the fosters doing things like keeping the donation closet organized and stocked etc. You already do something that most foster parents are super thankful for- Teaching. Teachers are some of our biggest support systems. Even though my foster son is only 18 month, I had him in a structured daycare center and his teachers were a world of help for me!

I dont think I ever actually made a post about the adoption- yep the birthing mom is a young (17) lady that I have known sense SHE was itty bitty, and is not emotionaly, financialy, or mentaly ready to be a mom. She's due Christmas day but the doc says most likly he'll be late so I'm planning on early but not holding my breath (didnt buy a 2011 baby's first christmas ornamet etc but the nursery will be ready)
Vicky(34), DH(34), DFS(18m)(going home soon), DS due Christmas Day, by private adoption.
 
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orin34 replied to fiannakyn's response:
Why does the doctor say that he will be late? did he not have an accurate LMP from the mom?
It's great that you personally KNOW her. Will you be telling the child that he is adopted and be seeing the birth mom on a regular bases? I have heard that when the birth mom is really involved throughout childhood it can cause some confusion..... BUT.... I have also heard that when the adopted mom and the birth mom know each other it greatly diminishes the risk of the birth mom backing out of the adoption.
Is this your first adoption attempt or have you had other attempts that didn't pan out?

For the babies sake I hope he is late......... My mom was born really close to christmas and her family always lumped her birthday in with the christmas celebration.... she never got her "own birthday". Now I make a point to do birthday things ON her birthday instead of giving her a birthday present on christmas (I did this after I moved out because I was never sure when I was going to see her.... I didn't realize how much tis annoyed her.... so now I make a point to not do that, even if I have to mail her present).
 
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sdadkin replied to fiannakyn's response:
Lurking...

I am so sorry about baby "Sam" being taken away! It must feel so awful! I couldn't imagine! Hopefully he is going to a really good home. And at least the adoption is less than a month away. It will give you a little time to kind of grieve your loss and help you prepare for a newborn. You guys will do great with a new little one. Good luck!
Me (25) SO (25) DS (7/22/09) EDD (5/10/11)
 
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fiannakyn replied to sdadkin's response:
Thank you ladies

Orin34- Yes he will know from day one he was adopted and love even more for it. We probably wont see the birthmother very often, she's pretty flighty, but will work on preventing confusion. And my Dad's birthday is the 19th, so he also got a lot of lumped together presents. Some years I couldn't afford bth a christmas and birthday present so I always made sure he got a birthday one from me. And I always wrapped it in BIRTHDAY paper which tickled him to no end No matter what day this boy comes on, he will always have a birthday party if he wants it.

The doc says sense T's family has a history of going late, and she's young and healthy, he will not recomend inducing or C/S untill she's past 41 weeks.

I am also totally ok with him coming late- I do not get paid maternaty time off and have to use vacation time, which I don't have much left for 2011.
Vicky(34), DH(34), DFS(18m)(going home soon), DS due Christmas Day, by private adoption.
 
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orin34 replied to fiannakyn's response:
Check with the FMLA laws. I am pretty sure you can still take "maternity leave" even after an adoption. Here, I googled them I don't know if it is paid or not.... I didn't have to go through getting time off since I was laid off prior to my sons birth anyway.

http://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/
 
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sarah0323 replied to fiannakyn's response:
With an adoption you still quailify for FMLA as long as you meet the other requirments. It isn't paid but they still have to protect your job.

I work in the Social Services field and without foster parents we couldn't do what we do. Foster parents have one of the hardest parenting jobs out there. Thank you for loving Sam for the time that you had him. I know you will miss him but I'm happy that he found his forever home.
Me (33), SO (33), DD1 (12YO), DS1 (7YO), DS2 (6 YO), DS3 (4YO), DD2 11/2010.
 
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Amelia_WebMD_Staff responded:
Just wanted to reach out and give a ((hug)) to you, Vicky!

I'm so excited to hear about your adoption around Christmas, though I know that you must be having a rough time missing Sam.

I hope that you still enjoy the holiday and focus on the future as a happy family! You really are a wonderful woman and mother to help so many in need.

Take care of yourself and check into what these ladies have found on maternity leave! How wonderful you gals are to find this!! I'm sure that your LO would greatly appreciate that one-on-one time more than anything in the world!
Amelia


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