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Trip Update
orin34 posted:
For those of you that were curious how our trip turned out...
The trip to my father in laws was HORRIBLE and I will never go back so long as I live. He was the one that I could sort of stand to be around, but not anymore. At the beginning I was worried about missing MY family traditions being missed.... now? I should have been worried about my FIL the whole time.
DH said that if he knew his father had changed that much that we would never have gone.
What went wrong? oh boy.....
*Flight wasn't great with a toddler... granted he was able to "sit" between us... but definitely not great.
*We get there and FIL tells us that his new roomate is a pedophile and that we don't need to worry because he already gave his roomate a talking too about my son. (it was a sick joke on his part but he presented it as if he were perfectly serious). He did other "jokes" like this that he would say "you just don't get my sense of humor" and try and make you feel like YOU were being the idiot.
*FIL wouldn't let us turn on the heater (and it was literally at freezing temperatures outside). There were no curtains on the windows so it felt like it was the same temp inside as it was outside. And then he comes downstairs and has the audacity to say "brr its cold" (he has no less than 3 space heaters in his room!!!!)
*My son likes "his places" and he was out of his element. So I lay down with him on our air mattress to help get him to sleep and he is crying.... FIL comes downstairs.... after a few brief words about why he is crying and me telling him flatly "i'm TRYING to get him to nap"... my FIL actually TAKES MY SON AWAY FROM ME!. He literally had to drag him upstairs and I couldn't really do anything (like go into mama bear mode.... like I wanted too) because I had to live there for the whole weekend. I was really upset at this point and actually cried. (FIL has ZERO kid experience and I came to find out that indeed.... he couldn't handle the kid who was fighting tooth and nail to get away... so he handed him off to my BIL and said "do something with him just don't let him go back the [me>")
*FIL would ask where I wanted to eat (they don't have ANY food in their kitchen) and I would tell him a place... and he would say "no... we are going to go __________". Why bother asking? He did this repeatedly and it was really starting to bug me. When he did it on the final day I put my foot down and said "NO we are going _________ for breakfast". He made a big show about it being not as bad as he remembered (it was the BEST food on the trip, the place he preferred was like a mexican breakfast fast food place).
*FIL would constantly come up and pull on my sons arms or rub his back while I'm holding him and my son DOES NOT LIKE THAT.
*After I say "no more cheetos" I turn around and the next thing I know my FIL is shoving another cheeto down my sons throat.
* We would Stop at a site seeing destination (DH was visiting a friend) and FIL wouldn't even let me get out of the car to see the rose garden layout. He just parked for a second and then backed up and kept going. We also visited a mansion and he wouldn't let me tour the inside...."We don't go inside. We just look at the outside" (the mansion was open for tours)

During the weekend DH was out with his brother shooting or out visiting a friend for the afternoon that he hadn't seen in a long time. He was gone only Friday and Saturday afternoon, but it was still terrible.
His other siblings didn't take time off to visit with us. There were a multitude of things, but those were the worst and most annoying, I most definitely will NOT be going back. DH was annoyed with his siblings that he was not told that his fathers "mind seems to be going" but I did my duty and I will not be making a repeat performance. I am SO done.
megbrubaker responded:
Wow. Wow. Wow. OMG!!!! That is all i can say. WOW
Megan (26), DH (30)
Two beautiful children, DS: Boston(3)
orin34 replied to megbrubaker's response:
I re-reading it I feel awful all over again. We went up there thinking we would have the guest room in a nice heated house not knowing that FIL had taken in TWO extra people (the "pedophile" and his girlfriends college age son). We got booted to the downstairs front room (next to the door that is being open and shut all the time in freezing weather) on an air mattress (lets face it, two big people on an air mattress? recipe for disaster) and they had to scramble to find blankets for us. I ended up with ONE comforter and my DH ended up with two thin knit blankets.
I came home and told my mom what happened and when I got to the "he took my son away" I started to cry all over again.
My DH knows I didn't have fun and he knows I was uncomfortable, but I don't think he realizes how "traumatized" I am by what I was put through. He didn't see everything because he was off doing other things.
I would also like to note that his father said he didnt heat the house because he didn't want an astronomical heating bill.... we were there for THREE DAYS only TWO if you count the fact that we were gone the third day and were leaving that night. It wouldn't have made that much of a difference. The man is NUTS and I want nothing more to do with him

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