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    Autism in toddler?
    An_242666 posted:
    Hello. I have a 20 month old son, who I do not believe has autism, but my husband is concerned that he may. Since I have OCD, I am worried, though I think my husband is way off base. I am hoping someone may have an expert opinion for me.

    My son is very social with other children and is mommy obsessed. I am with him 24/7, and he wants to spend most of his time cuddling with me, bringing me things, being read to, anticipating peek-a-boo and tickle games or getting into things and playing. He does not cuddle much with daddy though- daddy is for playing. He has always had good eye contact, responds to facial expressions and movements, mimics, and is very interested in what I am doing. He started social smiling at 5 weeks and is very loving, giggly, and excitable.

    My husband is concerned because he is not talking. He babbles and says 'dada; all the time, and can also use it correctly (calling his father or myself dada). He also repeats back the word 'done', and sometimes I can get him to say 'yes'. His understanding is good I think (he is my first child). He will give me a kiss or hug when asked. Will bring me his sippy cup, a ball, my shoes, etc when asked. He does all this with excitement for the praise he will be receiving- and will often clap for himself. He loves the attention and praise of others.

    My husband is also concerned because he is very hyperactive and will throw fits when we try to hold his hand or hold him when he wants to run about a store, house, etc. He does not always respond to his name or respond when we are talking to him, but that's often when something is on the tv or he wants to get into something. He gets excited by music and bounces up and down waving his arms. He definitely flaps his arms/hands when he wants something like a cracker. He will bounce up and down waving his arms going 'uhuhuh'. I think the arm/hand flapping is because he doesn't know how to communicate what he wants with words. He doesn't point, but he waves and can follow where I point.

    He saw the pediatrician at 18 months and she was not concerned. My son started walking at 8 months and has been obsessed with mobility. Since I am always with him to anticipate his needs, the doctor thinks he hasn't had the real want/need to talk yet. That is how I feel.

    My son definitely likes interacting with other children and will go right up to strangers and children and start babbling with them like he wants to talk, or will mimic their laughter trying to join in.

    To sum up:
    My 20 month son old babbles a lot and says 3 words. He arms flaps and bounces when excited or frustrated. He does not point, but he does wave bye bye. He does not always respond when talked to. He is very hyperactive, doesn't like to be restrained in any way, has short tantrums often. Constantly wants to run around and explore/get into everything

    He is super affectionate and cuddly with mommy. Likes to play with other children. Makes great eye contact. Is very interested in what everyone around him is doing. Plays with a variety of toys in a disorganized way (though he is obsessed with tv remotes). Constantly seeks praise from others.Smiled early and smiles often. Laughs a lot and loves engaging games like peek-a-boo and and anticipates tickling with delight. Will bring me things when asked. Will shut doors when asked. Loves to kiss and hug when asked. Waves and can follow a pointing finger. Movement is very refined. Walked at 8 months and now runs and dodges objects very well. Is easily comforted by cuddling with mommy. Does not mind a change in routine. Does not get easily fazed by things, but will throw tantrums often if restrained from exploring.

    I am looking for responses from people with experience. Please try not to be an alarmist with guesses, as I have an anxiety disorder.

    Thank you so much for your time!
    orin34 responded:
    I am a credentialed teacher, I have worked with children from pre-k to 8th grade and have had to take TONS of child development classes. In addition to this, I have worked with special ed students including many autistic children. . . What you are describing does not sound like autism at all.
    I would trust your pediatrician; if she isn't concerned then I wouldn't be either.
    My son is 19 months he says some words (mama,dada,ball, nana, grampa, "do it again", love you, ect)... Pediatrician was pleased with his development and indicated that he was above average on language development (I don't know if that is true, every child is different and he seems 'average' to me). . . My nephew said "mama" and that was pretty much all he said until he was over two. . . but, he is now three and a half and his language is VERY highly developed. . . all that time he wasn't talking much, he was listening..... when he did finally start to talk he spoke in sentences, not single words.
    I don't think you have cause for concern.
    An_242666 replied to orin34's response:
    Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    I can do all the research possible online, but without having any real world references it was hard to ease my mind. I think my son is perfectly fine, but when your significant other is expressing concerns it's hard to ignore...especially with an anxiety disorder.

    You have greatly eased my mind. We also have a doctor's appt this Thursday, which should ease my husband's concerns.
    An_242666 replied to orin34's response:
    My son saw his new doctor today, who said definitively that he is not autistic. He has no concerns at all about autism or any social impairments.

    He says my son is slightly speech delayed, but he is not concerned. We should just keep an eye on his communication skills and encourage them. He believes my son will progress quickly.

    orin34 replied to An_242666's response:
    Yay! Is your husband relieved? Did he go with you? I hope he was able to hear it directly from the doctor so that he can set his mind at ease.
    An_242666 replied to orin34's response:
    My husband went with me. At the end of the appointment I asked the doctor, "To sum up- for my husband's sake I want to be clear-is it possible my son is autistic?"

    Doc: "No. He is not autistic. He shows no signs of autism."

    My husband is relieved.
    phoenix31674 replied to An_242666's response:
    That's great news. Hopefully this will get him calmed down. I just know with the news media really ramping up about it, some folks look at every little delay (even if it's just something on the upper end of normal) as a marker for something rather than just the fact your child will hit that milestone later.

    My in-laws are currently listening to my son's babbling and picking words out of it. LOL He does have a few and we can tell the floodgate of speech is about to open, but we aren't there yet.
    FarrahL responded:
    How can I say this? Please never vaccinate this child again and have him avoid all aluminum in his environment. One of the things we are starting to see more of - across the board, is speech disorders and seizures - these are both from aluminum toxicity (worst thing is there is SO much aluminum in the vaccine schedule injected right into our poor babies). Injection is so much worse than eating it, but all of it has to go, pronto. That means no more artificial colors/flavors either.

    Here are some things to back up what I am saying. They used to have aluminum containing dialysis water which made people get Dialysis Dementia - one of the first things that went was their speech!!

    They have used Aluminum-hydroxide (same kind in vaccines) to inject into monkeys to produce "Experimental Epilepsy" so they could try anti-epileptic drugs on them!

    If you or anyone doesn't believe me, you can look these things up. Take care!!
    Anon_36730 replied to FarrahL's response:

    Wow can you say that you are a little obsessed? I don't think telling someone to not vaccinate their child is the way to go, I think you are working off of some type of old information since I have never heard of this, my daughter is vaccinatted on schedule and has no issues. I think the aluminum issue could possibly be valid BUT you have to weigh the pros and cons of everything you do, would you rather your child die from whooping cough because of a tiny bit of aluminum? And good luck avoiding all artificial colors/flavors, they are in EVERYTHING you buy, now if you ran your own farm and raised your own cattle then yes you could do that but for an everyday person it is very hard to avoid.

    How about starting with eating a healthy balanced diet? How about teaching your children where their food comes from? I don't get people that will tell someone what to do when this isn't even a question of vaccinations!
    An_240941 replied to Anon_36730's response:
    Some people are starting to say that there is a correlation between autism and vaccines due to the level of aluminum in them...which is where her concern of vaccine comes into play in this conversation. However, there is no actual definitive proof of these accusations. Anything that the individuals against vaccines drum up as "evidence" of this correlation can easily be shut down by scientific fact. Do some extensive research and you will see that. Yet if you are looking for vaccines to be the bad guy that's probably the only thing you will allow yourself to see. Personally I believe in vaccinations and would much rather vaccinate my kids to protect them from things like pertussis (which has officially become declared in epidemic in Washington state) then risk their lives over a ridiculously imaginative concept of them being "dangerous". There are risks in everything you do in life, the point is being able to reasonably weigh out the risks against the benefits.
    linnaway replied to An_240941's response:
    Very well put. I believe strongly in vaccinating.
    Anon_36730 replied to An_240941's response:
    I think people are looking for someone to blame honestly, and vaccines are an easy way to do it, I will keep my child fully vaccinated and go from there. When you are looking for something bad you will generally find it I suppose.
    An_240941 replied to Anon_36730's response:
    That's really what most of this amounts to. People can't handle their kid just being different & need somewhere to put the blame for all their hurt. Something to be mad at other then reality. That's where all the blame comes into play.
    krazykatt707 replied to Anon_36730's response:

    I understand you are entitled to your own opinions but at the same time it really makes me angry when I see people like you fear mongering and making definitive claims based on shaky research. There have been no definitive studies that show a link between autism and vaccines. Autism is something especially important to me as I have an older brother who has a severe case of it. (And by the way, it was shown his was prob a result of poor brain development and his prematurity, NOT vaccines or aluminum or artificial colors!)

    I was vaccinated and I was a gifted child all throughout school, especially gifted with language and reading. I am now a college student who is a member of the Honor Society and I maintain a 3.95 GPA. My kids are both vaccinated and my daughter is at least 6 months ahead developmentally (INCLUDING her speech/language development). I do beleive in having a healthy diet, avoiding harsh chemicals when possible and avoiding processed food as much as possible but unless you're gonna live on a farm inside of a little bubble, what you're suggesting is not practical.

    I think the rest of you ladies are so right about people placing the blame. I think its natural for us to be angry when our child or someone else we love is effected by things like autism. But you have to be realistic and realize that there is only so much you can control in your environment and when it comes to making decisions for your child, you have to weigh the risks against the benefits. I think the benefits of vaccinations far outweigh the risks.
    Rachel(27), DH(28), Jon Roland(5), Kira Elizabeth(1)
    An_240941 replied to krazykatt707's response:
    Very well put. I hope you don't stay angry with her. Some people have to have a place to put the blame on "bad" things (by the way I know people who live rather normal lives with autism, so it's not always so hindering & "negative". I hate when people view things that are different as "bad".) Also, some ignorant people play "follow the leader" with what the believe & simply preach what they have been told by someone else (ignorance is their problem, not know?).

    I had all my vaccine too though & have a 3.5 GPA & study psychology with 3 separate concentrates, so obviously I'm ok. My kids have all their vaccines (ages 1yr & 4yrs) & my oldest speaks English, Spanish, & American Sign Language(ASL) & my youngest speaks ASL as well. So I would venture as far so to say they are ok. So agreed, being healthy is important & being realistic is too...but not everyone thinks the same & they are entitled to their opinions, but I agree that it's not right to express ones opinion as fact with out any substantial evidence to support it. It can absolutely come off offensively. Not to mention no one should tell someone else what they "need" to or don't "need" to do as a parent (or to be a good parent). That is out of line & incredibly disrespectful (especially when it is being said to someone who clearly cares about their child's well being & is doing everything possible to "do the right things". Offering advice is one thing, but demanding certain actions is another. We are here to be supportive of one another & offer our advice & opinions respectfully, not to criticize or direct harshly.

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