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19 month old staying up all night
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ajohnson08099 posted:
My nephew will be 19 months on the 30th and his sleep schedule is rediculous!! Of course I am not his parent's but I wondered if anyone had any advice that I could offer his parents.

A lot of this is a lot of their fault in my opinion, but they deny it. They have been night owls for as long as I've known them (I am as well to a certain exstent... But I don't have kids so its not exactly the same) not going to bed until 3 or 4 AM or later. Also when he was younger they would sit up at a local convenient store (Its a sit down place, not dirty or anything but is 24 hrs) until late at night also. He still does a little because his mom works over nights there now so he's up there for a while.. But not AS late)

When they did attempt to change this habbit earlier they gave up and said he was too stubborn, or wouldn't do it, or wont self sooth if he went to sleep before 1 or 2 or later in the morning.

Now they are finally deciding to really work on regulating his sleep schedule sort of. They have been waking him up a lot earlier (usually about 9 am) because is mother now works overnights so she gets him up early to spend more time with him. But then after she goes to bed and its just him and his dad (he's a stay at home dad that does have pain problems so is one reason he is up late at night) he will put him down for a nap at about 12:30 until sometimes 2 or 3. After that he will put him down for ANOTHER nap at 8 to 830 and let him nap until 9 or so and then wont get him to bed until 1 or 2 Am

I do not have children so I know I can't completely understand.. But I my sister has a 6 and 2 year old, it was the same routine with both. They wake at about nine (or earlier) and then napped from 1 or 2 until the actually slept for alittle bit (sometimes they would play in their crip instead of nap) until about 3 and then would be put to bed at 9. It has worked well for them... I have TRIED to give this information to my in-laws (we do have a really good relationship) But apparently they wont try it. I have asked what happens when they just leave him asleep at 8 and they said he will nap for an hour or an hour and a half and then be up until 6 Am. But I guess I don't get why they can't just let him wear himself out. He's a screacher sometimes... But still.

I don't know what more to tell them. I love my nephew to death, but at over a year and a half he deserves a whole-some sleep schedule regardless of how late his parents perfer him to be up or whatever it is.

Please any information would be great! I know not every child is cookie-cutter but there MUST be something that is kind of universal.
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orin34 responded:
My nephew had the same problem..... and yes, in his case it was the parents' fault as well (DH's step sisters kid). He woke up three times a night for the better part of a year and a half. In this case it wasn't their schedule, more like their lack of backbone. They just gave in every time the kid made a peep and often woke him up on purpose to eat, ect... they created the cycle.

My son was in his crib from day one. He never slept in a bassinet and he never got in our bed. I have never and will never wake up a sleeping baby. If they are sleeping then they can have food when they wake up.
Since the child is older I would say that it is going to be MUCH more difficult to get him on a schedule. Difficult, but not impossible. they just have to stick to their guns... put him in a routine (dinner, bath,book, bed at 7... that is my sons schedule). He might cry, but giving in to the crying will just make the situation worse.
 
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ajohnson08099 replied to orin34's response:
Thank you. It just frustrates me to see him awake at 2, 3, or later in the morning... I get at first it was more convienent... But its I don't know it really bugs me now. I will try to convince my BIL (he's who is there at night) that he needs to just let him cry it out or entertain himself until he goes back to sleep. They don't have a set routine at night I know that for sure. *sighs* I don't know.. His dad really does do the "oh he's crying" thing a lot more than my SIL I think if it was her at night she'd stick to her guns a little better. Anyways thank you for your advice and sorry about my rambling!
 
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orin34 replied to ajohnson08099's response:
I also never put toys in the bed...... but if I want to sleep in a little bit I put a few books in the corner of my sons crib when I put him down the night before.
I would only say something if you have a good relationship with your brother and his wife. I can't tell you how many times I have had to bite my tongue so that I didn't "tell someone how to raise their child".
As a teacher I have seen some rather horrifying habits and in those cases it was my "job" to tell parents how their children can better succeed. . . but telling family and friends how to raise their children even for something as simple as putting them to bed earlier? I wouldn't ever cross that line. I have "my rules" when the kids are in my care (which they understand and respect), but when they aren't in my care their parents can do whatever they want so long as I don't have to hear them vent.
 
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ajohnson08099 replied to orin34's response:
We do have a good relationship. I'm not one to just say "your screwing your kid up, here do this" Honestly in the end I probably won't say anything at all. Sometimes especially my brother-in-law we will talk about his son and whats going on. Its more of a friendly "oh have you tried this? I've heard it works" kind of thing if anything. Oh well, its their child they will eventually learn I suppose.
 
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krazykatt707 replied to ajohnson08099's response:
Wow. That all sounds insane but its more common than you think. I've seen so many parents who don't get the importance of teaching their child healthy sleeping habits. DS has always been a fussy sleeper, he's stay up all night if he could, but we just stuck to our guns. I can't believe they wake him up at 8 or 9 pm! WTH??? There is no reason an almost 2 yr should be taking 2 naps anyway, let alone one that late! I get the convenience but this is the part of parenting where you put your child's needs and well being before your own. They will learn soon enough and they're def gonna have to figure something out once he gets to be school age and has to be up at 6 or 7 in the morning. I agree with Orin though. They just have to create a schedule and routine, stick with it and it will become habit. Even wake him up the same time each morning if they have to. Sure, he'll be exhausted but at least by time 7 or 8 rolls around, he'll be ready to be asleep for the night.
Rachel(27), DH(28), Jon Roland(5), Kira Elizabeth(1)


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