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Trying for a 2nd Baby????
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wmatto83 posted:
Hey All! Looking for a little advice or to vent not sure what lol! I really want to start trying for a second baby in the fall and I along with my DH have some fears! The biggest is can we afford another child??? How do you mommies do it with a second child to feed, cloth and put in daycare? The other biggie is my DS is extremely attached to me. He doesn't like when I pay attention to other children or hold another baby. Plus I do everything with him and for him and I know he loves me very much cause he constantly gives me hugs my fear is how do I divide me attention and love so that DS won't feel neglected and resent a new baby? Also my son is 15 months right now we wouldn't start trying for a couple more months. Is it easier or harder when they are close in age?
ME 29 DH 39 DS 1 Fury Sons both 6
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sdadkin responded:
My boys are 21 1/2 months apart (ages 3 and almost 16 months). It was really hard at first especially when my second was a newborn, but now it's great. They are starting to become close and they are actually playing together.

It took a little time for things to come together in the beginning, but you eventually get into a routine and things work themselves out. You just have to make sure you spend time with both kids separately and also make time for yourself (or you'll go crazy). It's really nice when they get to the age when they can actually play together. It's cute when you see them give each other hugs.

Your son is right at the age where he will probably start wanting some independence. You say you do everything for him, but you should start letting him do some things for himself. He should be at the point where he likes to start helping. Let him help you do things like when you're doing laundry give him some clothes to fold or let him help unload the dishwasher and at dinner time give him his own plate and plastic silverware to feed himself. If you let him have a little independence then once you have the new baby he will try to help you out instead of get jealous. Of course, they are always going to get a little jealous of one another but he will definitely see that you love them both. And once your second baby is born you will feel the same amount of love the minute you lay eyes on them. It's hard to explain, but you will feel it!
Me (27) SO (27) DS1 (7/22/09) DS2 (5/03/11)
 
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wmatto83 replied to sdadkin's response:
Thank you sooo very much for your help! This was very helpful! I should have rephrased the "I do everything for him" line....meaning my husband isn't much help. But my DS does help with laundry he puts his own clothes in the hamper. Helps me put dishes in the dishwasher and helps clean up his toys. So he does help me with stuff. And will not let me feed him he wants to totally feed himself. So that part is good. It is just that him and I do everything together my DH doesn't do alot with us. It is good to know that if all goes well and we are able to have a 2nd baby that after the newborn stage it does get easier. I really appreciate your advice and time!!
ME 29 DH 39 DS 1 Fury Sons both 6
 
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sdadkin replied to wmatto83's response:
My SO was the same way with our first son. I did all of the work in taking care of him. He didn't really start helping out until I was pregnant with our second. I guess that's when DS1 reached the age where he started communicating better and he was fun to play with. Towards the end of my pregnancy my SO would play with DS when I was so tired and I couldn't physically get down in the floor and play with him. He really stepped up after DS2 was born. He started helping take care of DS1 a lot while I looked after the baby. I think this really helped the two of them bond. Even now they are still really close. SO didn't help much with DS2 when he was first born though and it was kind of stressful in the beginning, but everything worked out okay. SO is just now starting to get close with DS2 too. I think your DH will step up and help out more when you are pregnant with your second child as well. Good luck!
Me (27) SO (27) DS1 (7/22/09) DS2 (5/03/11)
 
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wmatto83 replied to sdadkin's response:
Thanks sooo much for your help!!! I really appreciate hearing what other people's experience have been like. I am hoping we have an easy time of it like we did with DS as far as pregnancy and getting pregnant! I will keep you posted on what happens!
ME 29 DH 39 DS 1 Fury Sons both 6


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