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Makes me sad
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Shena1981 posted:
DH's cousins are visiting, so we went to Chuck E cheese with them today. The older one is going to be 14 next month, but had cancerous brain tumors when he was born. He speaks differently and is more on the emotional level of a 5 year old. He's very smart in that he remembers the most minor details from things that happened when he was 3, but struggles with other things, anyways...He also has a condition that has a big long name, but his skull didn't develop properly and his face is somewhat flat, he has scars on his head from his surgeries and he has many skin problems. He enjoyed playing the games DD was playng and riding the rides like her and kids were staring. I get that, he looks different and they don't understand, but when adults stare that makes me mad.

You can obviously see that he's not a regular 14 year old who's riding the kids rides, so why glare at him? Luckily he doesn't notice things like that. He thinks everyone in the world is wonderful and is a very happy kid, but it made me sad for him that these people seemed to be judging him.

OK vent over!
Mom, Dad and Kidlet
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3boysmom1981 responded:
I hate people sometimes.
Me, DH and our 3 boys (5, 2.5, and 11mo)
 
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TanyaJP responded:
that's so sad. like you said, i can understand other kids staring because they don't understand but adults should know better. that's so good that he has such a positive attitude though.
Tanya (36), DH (36), DS (Eric-2), DSD (Cera-11) and DSS (Trent-13). Baby 2 on the way (Max-EDD 9/28/10). 4 angels in heaven with my daddy RIP.
 
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LittleTandMe responded:
Some people suck. Jerks. It makes you want to walk up to them, explain the situation and make them feel like crap.

I wouldn't really but still. It's amazing that the boy is doing so well with all he's been through. I hope he never realizes how mean people are.
DS - 2.75 - I refuse to put almost 3
 
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JessHeath responded:
They are probably more curious than anything and probably feel sorry for him because they don't get it that to him, the world is wonderful so its actually themselves that they should be feeling sorry for. People are so inappropriate! Kids are usually a little curious and then if you tell them he was sick when he was little they would just shrug and say "okay, lets go play" adults just think about stuff too much when their own lives are probably a mess and if you saw that stuff, youd be the one staring at them!
 
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mrv77 responded:
I know how you feel. We have a special needs relative he is in his late 20's but has the mental capacity of a 5/6 year old. I hate when people stare and make comments if its obvious he is disabled. They had his b-day party at Chuck E Cheese last year because its where he wanted it and the comments people made were so upsetting.
Me(30ish) DD (3)
 
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VicsEandJ responded:
There are a lot of stupid people in the world- it is lucky that he doesn't notice it because he's already been through so much for his age.
Me (41), DH, DS (3), DD (1 1/2)
 
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Shena1981 replied to mrv77's response:
I just don't get it. I don't understand why people even care? Shouldn't you be paying attention to your own kids? They should just be glad that their kids are "normal" and not waste their time judging other people. Especially people who obviously have a disability.

I don't think he'll ever realize that some people are mean. He's the happiest, nicest kid you'll meet and only thinks the best of everyone. Maybe those people should take a lesson from him. With all the hospital visits, surgeries, treatments, therapies you'd think that he'd be different, but he loves life :)
Mom, Dad and Kidlet
 
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VicsEandJ replied to Shena1981's response:
Few will probably ever think it, but in some ways he's better off than the rest of us!
Me (41), DH, DS (3), DD (1 1/2)
 
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sarahann1978 responded:
Lurking-

I was bored and lurking up here yesterday and was thinking about this post last night. My nephew who is now 8 has Crusones (SP?) Syndrome which sounds a lot like your DH's cousin. His face looks different, his skull was not right, and his eyes bulge out. They had to do surgery on him where they split his skull open then put these spacer things sticking out of his head for months that my brother had to turn two or three times a day to stretch his skull out to accommodate his brain. At least he has not had any brain damage, so he is very smart. There is the sad part to me though, he knows he looks different and that kids treat him differently. At least one kind of nice thing about the child in your family is that he is blissfully unaware of how people judge him.

It's cruel, and does it really matter how someone looks? No of course not, but our society can be despicable.

The doctor's are planning a bunch of reconstructive surgery for my nephew in his teen years so hopefully as an adult he will look more normal, but I feel for him that he has to go through so much pain and agony. Some of the reconstruction is not just cosmetic though, it's to improve his functionality.

Besides the skull splitting he has already had surgery on his eyes, his tonsils removed and they had to open up the tubes that drain fluid from the brain. Poor kid!
 
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abbygailsmom1 responded:
That breaks my heart. Once we were at a local place kind of like Chucky Cheese and a large family came in who was very culturally diverse so I figured that they had adopted a lot of the kids. One young man, about 14 or so, was in a wheelchair and you could see that he had some developmental issues but he had the brightest eyes that just shone when you walked by him. My oldest was about 4 or so and every time she would walk by, he would smile his crooked little smile. She really wasn't paying that much attention to him, so the next time she walked by, I made sure that I was with her. We stopped and said hi to him and you could just see in his eyes that he was so excited that she said hi to him. We went back to the table and she asked me why he was in a wheelchair and I told her that his legs didn't work like ours so he got a seat. She said that was awesome that he got pushed around all the time.

I guess when I see people that are different than she is, I make sure to teach her that everyone is different in their own ways. She knows that there are tall and short people, big and little people and can tell me that each person is different. I think she is slowly getting it. Maybe people need to learn a lesson from my 5 year old.

Pretty sad that some adults don't get it.
Me (30) DH (28) DD1 (5) DD2 (2) Baby 3 EDD 1/25/11
 
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bella0715 responded:
He sounds like a very inspiring kid. It always amazes me how some people with so many obvious issues have such a wonderful and positive outlook on life. It makes me examine myself and make sure my small little bumps in the road are taken in perspective. I know your post was about mean people, and I'll never understand what makes them act the way they do. But it sounds like this family member of yours has awesome support with many people who love him. All you can do is ignore the naysayers and hope they never have to experience all this precious child has been through. Prayers to you and your family.
 
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sarah0323 responded:
Lurking....

He sounds like a great kid. I'm glad that he had a good time at Chuck E Cheese and that he doesn't notice the not so nice people. My 4yo and 3yo are both developmentally delayed.My 4yo is developmentally at the age of about a 2yo but wants to do things that others his age are doing. So they look "normal" but aren't able to do most things that others their age can do. My 4yo wanted to play t-ball this year so I signed him up for the same team as his brother. We actually got more comments from the parents about him being on the team than from the kids. Most kids just ignore him. It breaks my heart because I know I can't protect them from everything but when it comes from fellow parents making rude comments it just blows my mind. I understand why the kids act like they do because I feel that they aren't being taught the understanding from their parents which is sad. One parent actually said "Who is that odd child out there and why is he on our team?" This is the same parent who is the director at the local preschool and kicked him out because she didn't feel he met their criteria. I just wish most people would have more understanding for people who are different than they are.
Me 32,DD 11, DS1 6, DS2 4, DS3 3, EDD 11/19/10


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