Skip to content
Sanity Check
peachyga posted:
I just need a sanity check to know that I'm NOT the crazy person here...

I have to be in my office at 8 a.m. M-F. I have a 30-min drive each way no matter where I start (house, DS1's school, DS2's daycare). I get up at 6:15 a.m., get dressed, get DS1 up if he's not up already, feed him breakfast, change him, load up his bags and mine, then drive 10 min to his school, do a 10 min drop-off then off to work.

When I switched DS1's school earlier this month, we (as in "D"H and I) made a deal that I take DS1 to his school and he take DS2 to daycare, since many mornings DS2 isn't quite up yet when DS1 and I are ready to go and "D"H doesn't have a long drive to work (5 min). Surprisingly "D"H has been cooperating.

Last night "D"H said he had to be at work earlier than usual. So I get up at 6:15 a.m. this morning, got both DS1 and DS2 up (they were a little sleepy-eyed but not cranky, thank goodness) and got them ready, went to get "D"H out of the bed thinking he was late for work, then he says "I don't need to be in till 8".


I was FURIOUS. It turns out he NEVER really had to go in till 9 a.m. so after he dropped off DS2 at daycare around 7:30 he'd gone back to BED and slept till almost 9. When I told him how PO'ed I was he just kept saying "That was the agreement we made" but what I wasn't informed of (and he conveniently neglected to mention) that he didn't have to be at work till 9 when we decided on the arrangement!!

Do you see what's wrong with this picture here?! He has a stinkin 5-min drive to work, I have 30 minutes and DS1s school is quite out of the way. I hassle and bustle every morning to get DS2 packed up and ready to go, I get up a bit earlier but it's still a rush. If the traffic is bad I'm late for work. If "D"H would pack up both boys and take them both to each school and back, he'd still be done in 30 minutes and he wouldn't have to drive so much like I do. All the while I was thinking he had to be at work at 8 or 8:30!!! He just took an advantage of the fact I didn't know and just went with it. Then I was "doing him a favor" by getting both boys up this morning because I thought he had to be at work early!!


He just doesn't THINK. Iti's always about HIM, what's convenient for HIM. Selfish, lazy.

And don't get me started on trying to explain why I'm still with this guy.
mrv77 responded:
(((Hugs))) I am so sorry! No you are not crazy! He should step up to the plate.
Me(30ish) DD (3)
abbygailsmom1 responded:
Yeah, he should step up to the plate but we know he probably won't. You would think he would do it for the kids but apparently his sleep is more important.

So sorry you are having to deal with his immature self.
Me (30) DH (28) DD1 (5) DD2 (2) Baby 3 EDD 1/25/11
VicsEandJ responded:

Sorry "D"H is so selfish. But thinkof getting both DSs ready and out the door as good practice for the day you decide you've had enough of "D"H!

And document this for custody!
Me (41), DH, DS (3), DD (1 1/2)
megmoo78 responded:
(((Hugs))) No, you are definitely not crazy. He's selfish and lazy.
Megan, DH,1DD 2DSs
LittleTandMe responded:
H's a jerk. Hey, I live right over here in Alabama, I could swing by, clock him on the head, and be back here before anyone knows I am missing.
Me, DS Tristan, almost 3.
ariannasmommy1125 responded:
(((Hugs))) OMG I would be so pissed. Sorry you have to deal with his BS!
Amy 30 DH 28 Arianna born 3/5/08. TTC 2 with PCOS.
ShayKTen responded:
Exactly why women are mother's because obviously we are and can supposed to handle it all while men are still stuck in their own little world's.

(((Sorry))) I do feel your pain though. When DH is home, he doesn't have to be in until 2pm. Do you think that he could wake up for half an hour in the mornings and help me get both girls ready for their day while Im trying to get everything together for everyone in the household??? Nope. Instead he's laying in bed snoring away while I run around like a chicken with my head cut off.
Shayla(25), DH(32), Rylie Kay(3), Reagan(18mnths)
Boogie1975 replied to LittleTandMe's response:
your h acts like mine does sometimes. I am sorry he is acting that way. It just sucks that you have to be rushed early in the morning while he lays in bed and gets to sleep in.
Me (35), DH (36), DS..Dylan (6) and DD..Kaitlyn (2). 3 furbabies...Dakota (blue heeler) and 2 cats, storm and squidward.
curleysue1968 replied to Boogie1975's response:
you already know how I feel about H. But I agree with Vics---DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!
cinder44 replied to curleysue1968's response:
what bs!! there's no way you should let him get away with that!

be evil & send DS#1 in to wake him every morning telling him daddy can take you to school.

How deceptive & inconsiderate! what a jerk!!

I'm so sorry but I agree document this!
Me, DH, DD(3), DS(3) - twins
VicsEandJ replied to cinder44's response:
I like being evil!! DC should definitely wake DH every morning.

I'm more evil- if I am up and doing something for the household or family, DH is going to be doing something too-even if it is only keeping an eye on both kids. Unless he is really sick or something or has a good reason, he is not allowed to sleep or read the paper or ANYTHING while I am doing housework or something with the kids. DH may not always like it, but we can't always be happy all the time!
Me (41), DH, DS (3), DD (1 1/2)
peachyga replied to VicsEandJ's response:
Vic, DS1 started to come into bed with me in the morning when I go get him saying "I wanna lay down with mama". Usually "D"H is asleep in the bed when DS1 crawls in, but most days he just rolls over. DS1 used to try to get his attention but he stopped doing that, realizing his dad doesn't get up. On the weekends he *may* interact with DS1 but more often not.

My favorite is when both of them are sitting in the den watching TV, "D"H tunes into something he wants to watch, of course DS1 loses interest fast and starts to ask for something else or starts to do stuff, then "D"H gets all irritated with him because DS1's not sitting quietly letting Dad watch what *he* wants to watch. I've pointed this out to him before, I think he realized that he was being selfish but no real progress so far.
mrv77 replied to peachyga's response:
Kay I think you should bake your "D"H a nice batch of chocolate brownies w/ some rich chocolate laxitive frosting. Take all the toilet paper and put in your car and take the boys for a nice long drive :)
Me(30ish) DD (3)
megmoo78 replied to mrv77's response:
I love your idea Maria!!! :)
Megan, DH,1DD 2DSs

Spotlight: Member Stories

I am a stay at home mommy to my best buddy Stephen. Stephen has a speech delay, and gets to spend his mornings at preschool working on that, while I t...More

Helpful Tips

Has your little one decided to boycott milk? If so, dont "sugar coat" it with strawberry or chocolate. Try adding a small amount of vanilla ... More
Was this Helpful?
15 of 22 found this helpful

Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.