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DO NOT USE THE 3-DAY Potty Training book
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neeru_pdx posted:
We tried with my DD. It was horrible and made things way worse. I still get upset when I think about it. It's late tonight and I don't have the energy to go into all the problems, but it was fairly traumatic. My DD didn't end up being potty trained until almost 4, and my son, who we didn't use the book with, was trained well before he was 2 years old. Now I know all children are different, and we tried the 3-day method because we were having a hard time with getting my daughter to use the toilet, but i actually wrote the woman and asked for (and got) my money back. I really feel strongly that it is not a good or respectful way to potty train and feel like it harmed my relationship with my daughter (not permanently of course) and made her even more reluctant to use the potty.
There, said my piece! i just had to put it out there when I saw that a few people are considering trying it.
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gv215 responded:
Do you mind telling what the 3 day potty training book steps are? How did you pt your son?? I'm trying to pt my DD. I've bought her underwears that she picked out herself. What tips do you have?
 
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earleyml1012 responded:
I can't agree more!!! We tried with DD when she was 23 months and it was an awful experience. She actually became so afraid of going to the bathroom that she was holding it for hours and crying b/c she had to go but didn't want to mess her underware but was too scared to go on the potty. We are now just taking her to the potty whenever she asks and rewarding her if she goes...which hasn't happened too often yet. Luckily someone gave me the book so I didn't waste any money on it. However, I know of quite a few people who have had success with it. I guess it depends on the child.

The steps are basically you have your child help you throw all of the diapers/pull-ups in the trash so they know that there is no going back. (Luckily I put all of ours in a clean garbage bag and put it in a closet when DD wasn't looking). Then you put them in underwear and make a big deal about how they are a big girl/boy now. Just underwear no pants. You are suppose to show them where the potty is and tell them to let you know when they have to go, so their underwear can stay dry. Then for 3 days you do nothing but watch your child and the first sign of them starting to go you pick them up to take to the potty, so they can finish there and then reward them. Here is where we had the problem. As soon as I would pick DD up, she'd stop going b/c she thought she was doing something wrong so she never got to finish on the potty...never rewarded so she didn't know it was a good thing. Basically after doing this for 3 days they are suppose to learn that when they feel like going to run to the potty. DD after 1 1/2 days started crying every time she had to go b/c she was scared.

I don't recommend it either!
 
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Zaysmama replied to earleyml1012's response:
have a 2 year old DS and I am trying to make sure he is ready tyo be PT... what are the signs?
Heathir-
 
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cujaybird replied to Zaysmama's response:
Well every child is different. What works for one might not work for another. But I don't think there is anything harmful or traumatic about this method. It's like anything else, what works for your child and family might not work for another, and what doesn't work for them may work for someone else.
 
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earleyml1012 responded:
neeru_px what didn't work for you? I think it would be nice for these moms to hear another story.
 
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ryanandleigh replied to earleyml1012's response:
I semi-followed a book called Potty training in one day. There was no whisking the child off to the potty since you spent the whole day playing next to the potty and the child had to go there on his/her own and pull down her underwear. The book taught that there was a consequence for not going which was "practice runs". We followed a lot of the advice in the book such as potty training a doll at the same time. It was an intense day each time we did it but both kids pretty much were trained in a day and by the end of the weekend were almost accident free all the time. I think different methods work for different children but if the three day method is anything like the one day method, you just adjust it to your child and what works for you.
Leigh, Jacen (5), Alexa (2)
 
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neeru_pdx replied to earleyml1012's response:
Somewhat similar to your experience (earleyml1012 ).
It was so hard on us both. My daughter was not allowed time to relax on her own. Our first day was accident-free, 2nd day there were some, and 3rd day was terrible, my husband took a day off work so we could go for a fourth day. DD ended up holding her pee, despite me giving her lots to drink, for 11 (yes, ELEVEN) hours! She was so stressed and angry. As soon as I wasn't looking (for a moment), she RAN to my favorite rocker/glider (nursing chair) and peed on it. A LOT. That was definitely anger at me coming out. And being with her all the time? Try getting a 2.5 year old to stop the play/game they are intent on to come with me to the bathroom when I need to pee? We had my in-laws take my baby son for the weekend so I wouldn't be distracted by caring for him. Like I said before, it put a huge strain on my relationship with my daughter. And I followed the method as described in the book.

Someone asked about toilet training my son. I used a much gentler, gradual, child-lead approach. Talked to him about the toilet lots, especially when it was NOT an issue, like when no one had to pee. Read lots of books about it (I like "Have you seen my potty") for fun. When we played with his toys we had the toys go pee etc (he even used to put his Thomas the Train on the toilet in the dollhouse!) I made a big deal when I went to the toilet, narrating what I was doing (including hand washing), gradually added sitting on the toilet as part of the bedtime routine, and then the morning routine. And I told him whenever he wanted help to try going on the toilet, I would help him. And I waited, without ever stressing about it, until he wanted to try. When he was getting confident we switched to underpants at home and a diaper when we were going out. It was really no big deal to go back and forth, did not set us back at all. And now he still wears a diaper at night, even though he is dry in the morning more than 9/10 times, because I do not want to change sheets in the middle of the night.
 
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An_222789 replied to neeru_pdx's response:
Like people said I think it depends on this child, everything can be modified for what you need if its not working as its written. I dont understand from what you said about why there is a strain between you and your daughter because of the 3 day potty training thing? For example, for my LO I know putting pullups on at night or in the car but doing regular undies at home wouldnt work for her because she thinks of pullups as diapers, but also its just how she is, there would be more accidents.
 
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neeru_pdx replied to An_222789's response:
I wanted to share my experience because I would rather that other people do not have to go through such a bad experience too. Maybe you (Anon_1806) didn't read my post fully (why post anon? I am getting tired of people doing that).
To put it clearly, I do not feel like it is possible to follow the method in the e-book and still be treating your child respectfully.

If you choose to modify the method, that is one thing, but if you want to follow it exactly as written, I do not think it is a good idea. That is just my opinion, and I only put it on here to try to help others not have the same terrible experience that I did.

I am very glad that time is behind me, and I wish everyone luck.

Good luck Anon_1806.

Cheers.
 
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earleyml1012 replied to neeru_pdx's response:
I agree that modifying the methods in her book may work but if you follow exactly like she says to, it can cause strain on your relationship with your child. Like neeru_pdx said, my DD by day 3 was holding it for 8-9 hours even with us giving her LOTS to drink. Then when she would go, she'd stand there crying and didn't even try to go on the potty.

I'm kind of doing the approach neeru_pdx did with her son, now with my daughter. Last night I did put her in big girl underware for a couple of hours b/c she asked. She understood that she needed to keep them dry and even told us that she had to go potty. We went calmly to the potty but she's still kind of scared of it, so about 15 mins later when neither DH or I were looking, she peed in her pants. I still think she's tramatized from the 3 day potty training that we tried back in November.

I agree that these are only our opinions and that every child is different. I expressed in the past my disappoint me on this board about that book, so please don't get upset at us for expressing our experience with it. Who knows, it could work for your child. Don't be like me and get so upset if it doesn't work though.
 
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JUSTstacy replied to earleyml1012's response:
Who is the author of this book? I am asking so I do not get this book. I know their are a lot of different ones out there...
 
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FiddlinDandi responded:
I totally agree! The 3 day potty training method (By L. Jensen) DID NOT WORK for us! We did everything EXACTLY by the book, and we only succeeded in making our son afraid of the potty. A month before we tried this method, we had been doing a little bit of our own training and he was very excited about the potty. But we decided to wait a month like the book said and try the 3 day method because our son is a quick learner. Please, DO NOT rely on this method. It is silly to say that one method will work on every child. It won't. Your child is unique and will learn differently from every other child. We have reverted to what we were doing before, and our son is doing great!
 
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Buckeyegal replied to FiddlinDandi's response:
My pediatrician told me that children will potty train themselves if allowed to do it at their own pace. He told me to make a potty chair available to them and talk about using the potty. He also suggested taking my kids into the bathroom with me so they could see Mommy using the potty. (I have 2 girls). According to him, trying to potty train a child who is not ready can lead to them NOT using the potty for a long time, no matter what you do. Some children are not ready until they are well past 3 years old, but some parents think if their child isn't potty trained by the age of 3 they are doing something wrong. I followed his advice and my kids started using the potty on their own and we rarely had accidents. They were both about two and a half.
 
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tage59 replied to earleyml1012's response:
sounds like the problem with you're experience is in your child being scared that they did something wrong simply because you picked them up.


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